Long Pooper Poems

If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Ace colonoscopy doctors Kellen Karl Kovalovich
and Larry Borowsky

Though necessary to down: 
four Dulcolax laxative tablets, 
quaff half 238 gram bottle of Miralax 
over span of eight hours, 
and if necessary even one Fleets Enema, 
I...

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Write a limerick of your own about a Muppet. 
If you post it in a comment or in soup mail to me, 
and I find it appropriate, I'll add it on. ;-)


Sesame Street's Count von...

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"Imagination is as imagination does."
-- a poet of a truly handsome imagination

*   *   *

On every "Help! Oh, help! I'm in a Pickle!" Pickle Day,
Ms. Superhero Fancy one true super-duper fay
along with...

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Dragon is always in Hero mode, most certain of that, you can be sure.
The Sheriff of CrazyLand is a stickler for all the rules, he does ensure.
If only either one of them… had at least...

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I was out walking my dragon, when I came across a Dogasaurus Rex.
It really wasn’t so bad until; they got into a real life-pissing contest.
My dragons’ roar was way less than his, and spitting fire,...

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Everyone has a theory on what killed out all the great big Dinosaurs.
I’m the only one who knows, what happened, that stopped their roars.
It’s just a little common sense, to figure out what it was,...

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And here tonight I assumed

This would be just another one
of those average dinner parties

With a stream of boring associates and
their plus 1 partner or other

But wow
Hey you
Are so different from all the other's

Why I am...

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1.  LIFE:  February (you can guess which year.)
     I came to earth as a little dear. 
     After I wailed and cried a tear.
 ...

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Like any family, mine’s the same, they leave Mama with the dirty Chores.
You’d think with Trolls, and Dragons, and such… There’d be magic galore!
But I concede defeat at Pooper Scooping Time, my sons taught everyone...

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My Dogs have the dreaded multiseasonal EPS syndrome “Eat-Poop-Sleep”.
But not my Dragon, so clever, he’s added mischief to this illustrious heap.
He has our Australian Cattle dog herding the penguins up the street.
The Gutter frogs hop...

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Schiff picked up the phone receiver again:Pelosi, your idea's great! The pizzas paid off! The gofers all rolled back! And their hauptman Mutt Gaets vanished, purportedly calling for a press conference. 
Pelosi: Uh, pizzas paid...

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I stepped into a cow pie, back a year or so ago, and I did fuss and cry!
Or so I am told… Then I found a Dragon egg, and as you will surmise… 
The plentitude...

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I played a nasty joke on Santa
                            ...

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Who Would Want Trump

What Trump said puts us into a stupor
Is party pooper and things are a blooper
With Hillary items are always tangible
His hair is orange and unmanageable.

Trump does end up putting us imperil
Would be...

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“Don’t be scared; just do it!”
“I don’t want to it!”
“C’mon it will be fast.”
“But people die doing this!”
“People also have fun doing this!”
“Well, you go on without me!”
“Don’t be a cry baby!”
“Mom said I didn't...

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Pooper Scooper
Scooper Pooper
I like to watch my cat
tip its hat
in its tea.
but only for me
thats why you'll see me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high.
Thats why you wont find us
with a stigh
in our eye.
No it's not...

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Nobody believes me!

We are killing ourselves and each
other everyday.
And no, we don't need a gun.
But, come on, they tell me,
Stop being a party pooper!

No, I won't get on the train of yours.
Anymore than "Old  Sparky."
The...

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Please don't anybody ask me to decide anything. I do not know
The difference between, the Concord or a Jet Plane
The Republican or the Democrats, 
White lies or some faker boldfaces fibbers 
 The donkey audible...

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Strictly Forbidden

Have been writing poems and then waited
For your poets to soon become infatuated
With all of my poems each and every one
I will post to Poetry Soup when are done.

At first poems weren't completely perfected
Waiting...

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It's new years eve or bonfire night.
Veterans hide away in fright
They fear that they may crumble 
As the fireworks start to rumble

Even if there tucked up in bed
The flashes and bangs mess up the head
Hot...

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I am going to write about smiling
Why do you smile?
Is it because you like it?
Hmm what don't you like?
I can think of something you don't like
Uggh party pooper
Lol
Is it because you see me?
No I see...

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I generally mean mine mien mental state
moost occasions heavily marinated stupor
long established as external trait
psychologically time tested trooper
impossible mission to kickstart sanity
doppelgänger regularly revisits his soul asylum
hellbent antimatter he cannot vitiate
despite therapeutic laxative merely exhausts

well bred literate...

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More Will Rogers Philosophy
(Are all quarrels domestic ones?)

If in formation found flying over a diary
We sincerely thing you are an aviary
And if a quarrel you may try to develop
Likely a domestic around you will envelope.

When...

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