Long Poo Poems
Long Poo Poems. Below are the most popular long Poo by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Poo poems by poem length and keyword.
Maternal grandpa owned a car where boot lid came back and folded down
From underneath our shearing shed he'd bag up lots of sheep manure
Tied to tray on back of car , travel four hundred kilometres back to town
Would pile the poo on his suburban garden
where he grew beetroot lettuce and some corn
to water and weed this vegie patch
he would rise at break of dawn
So thank you grandpa for this mentorship
since those days, I've loaded ute, with many different kinds of poo
There's horses, goats, ducks, donkey, cow, hens and sheep
I'm not much into waste , with compost dunny, to soil, mine adds much richness too
I have many different types of fruit and lots of greens to make a meal
with world events a lack of food, maybe not too long, it could all get real
The words left my mouth but they weren't words I said,
"she'll be the paper again this time next week"
confused they asked why and I said "she'll be dead"
those words came out but I didn't choose to speak
The next day was her birthday drunk she decided to drive
they had hid her car keys because they know what she's like
but she found those keys they didn't know she went for a ride
she had only just passed her test when she crashed and she died
The paper was weekly and we all mourned the loss
the next day, another crash, another girl paid the cost
both girls were teenagers too young to have lost
leaving their families heartbroken in shock
When the paper was published the front page reports grief
both girls were pictured, both crashed cars and deceased
my previous premonitions were told after to a daft disbelief
but this time for some reason it was spoken and received
Now they turn pale as if ill as they look toward me
freaked out as if I'm a possessed demon they see
they seek understanding the same one I seek
I'm terrified to the core unsure why I'm unique
I know what you know and I know nothing else
I've asked it to stop as I don't get why it's dealt
I cannot explain it because I don't know myself
but I know these premonitions are no evil spell
I hope they are good, in fact I prey I don't hope they're not evil corrupt,
because of course if they are, it's really quite simple, I'm Royally F......D!
COPING WITH POO!
Two young boys left in charge of a baby,
A recipe for disaster that’s no maybe,
Take baby to the local fair,
Without a care, they did dare,
Head for the whip, put baby on one of their laps,
She has missed one of her afternoon naps,
Is out of her comfort zone, she has a big poo,
It’s really stinky, now what do they do?
The stinky nappy angers more than a few
The atmosphere had a certain poo hue!
The whip, twists and whirls and twirls, baby’s nappy
Begins to come loose and baby is not happy,
She’s feeling sick, she vomits, and the nappy snaps,
Poo and vomit fly everywhere, poor chaps!
They run, the situation has now become crappie,
Most of the people are agitated and unhappy!
On the way out buy mom a sweater,
Thought she might favor them better!
Put baby to bed, she sleeps poo and all,
Still wrapped in mom’s new shawl!
On her return Mom saw her little angel asleep,
But also could see the poo that had begun to creep
All the way up to baby’s neck and deep,
Into her bed where it had begun to seep!
Mom got very cross at first,
But thinks of the nappy that burst,
She begins to giggle
And baby woke up, and began to wiggle,
Spreading the poo
Which had become like brown glue,
Into the sheets, the wall and her hair
So now poo was everywhere!
It became a hysterical situation,
Mostly from moms absolute frustration,
Go outside and play she said to the boys, shoo, shoo,
I have a great deal of cleaning to do!
The witch ¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ (the withered hag)
¦¦¦ wash ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦ with pail and rag,
Was once the beauty Abishag,
¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ pride of Hollywood.
¦¦¦ many fall from great and good
¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ doubt the likelihood.
¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ avoid the fate.
¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ die late,
¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ die in state.
¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦ stock exchange your own!
¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ occupy a throne,
¦¦¦¦¦ nobody ¦¦¦ call you crone.
Some ¦¦¦¦ relied ¦¦¦ what they knew;
¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ simply being true.
¦¦¦¦ worked for them ¦¦¦¦¦ work for you.
No memory ¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦¦ starred
¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ later disregard,
¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦¦ the end from being hard.
¦¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦ go down dignified
With ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ friendship at your side
Than none at all. Provide, provide!
(Blackout of Provide Provide by Robert Frost)
I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart
There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s both fresh and some that’s foul
Each morning once I get out of bed
For breakfast I’ll have brown bread
The chart is a handy tool
To identify your type of stool
Now I’ve decided to tell
You about the different poos that smell
Cos it’s clear that the Bristol stool chart
Can also indicate your type of fart
Type 1 is as hard as a nut
And stays longest in the gut
Type 2 is a sausagy lump
That’s hard to squeeze out your rump
Then there’s types 3 and type 4
These are the poos I adore
These are the poos I prefer to make
A cracked sausage or smooth like a snake
Types 5 and 6 are easier to pass
Blobby or fluffy ones from your ass
Type 7 is the worst of all
It gushes like a waterfall
So now you’ve got all the scoop
On all the different types of poop
I love identifying my poo and type of fart
The Bristol Stool chart fills my heart
Touching on the silver glow.
When you touch it,
You'll know it.
It's designed to keep
You running back.
This Spiritual snack.
Keeping you open for attack,
As you sink back into the
World, askew and absconded,
Trying to conjure
Between worried wait:
The Science of the mind
And the love we thought we'd find.
Point me towards the house I will live in.
Let me punch in the numbers and access the pin.
I've guessed wrong more times than I can count.
But beyond the hill, they say, is a silver glow
Of limitless amount.
But don't take my word for it.
A little bird turd me about it.
Now here is a subject
you may not want to discuss
But I.m going to do it anyway
even if it causes some form of fuss
I have seen some illustrations
depicting how a perfect human poo should look
Is it long, does it float, is it crumby is it heavy
When it drops to the bottom of the toilet bowl,
the dunny seat did it appreciate being shook
Now here's an aspect of a poo
that never seems much revealed
What's the colour what is normal
now here's a bit of information I'm about to yield
Now you may me regard me as a weirdo
a crazy kind of chap
My poo it changes colour
every time I crap
When I eat some yummy paw paw
the colour comes out yellow
Now relieved . I've got some evidence
to prove I'm a most unusual type of fellow
When i eat some dragon fruit
I deposit stuff that's red
That confirms at least the day before
I was well and truly fed
The black chocolate sapotes, a magnificent type of fruit
consistency they never let me down
What I vision at the bottom of the toilet bowl
it's always the same dark chocolate brown
Let's talk about bananas, I eat em by the dozen
it's time now for inspection what an awesome sight
The colour that's been deposited
I'm describing as off white
So don't take anything for granted
and never forget to check your poo
You may be quite amazed to find
what was once inside of you
I have an innate desire
to be remembered as the Rainbow Man
I check out all these other fruits
surely there are some that will satisfy my plan
There's purple grapes
nothing's happened there
No luck forthcoming either
from the greenage of a pear
The orange is much too juicy
the colour goes straight through
What about some blueberry
to catch the blue I'd probably have to swallow glue
Rainbow Man regretfully it cant be done
I'll have to stick with the monicker every one does know
But I'd still like to discover
a fruit with colour indigo
Now if you think that any verse
is a figment of my imagination
Would you like a photo
I can provide some truthful verification
Funny poo dung muck droppings ordure;
Little toddler gotta boo-boo;
biege rustic cow chips;
Oops! Watch it later;
Oh, nan just stepped in it;
Scuffed up my patent leather;
Funny poo
Smell muddle grounds fly's maggots migrate;
Part taking in stinky homage;
Funny poo
Organic ya matter diarrhea rash;
Billy did you forget to flush;
Rushing to the water closet;
Funny poo
Gotta go, oh! No no ooh;
Funny boo-boo;
Refuse ordure toilet us;
Ooh! Gotta go, go, low
Someone locked the bathroom door;
I'm too proud to wear Depends
Oops ooh that's just so nasty, ooh!
Funny poo?
2/2/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2021
When Kublai got a poo poo butt he would go and hide
the silly dog with his mess seem embarrassed and shy
But Genghis with his hind mess was eager for me to spy
he would trot in searching for me his eagerness beware
Wanted me to pick him up and tend to his dirty rear.
Off we go to clean him good and happy he would be
to have a clean behind made him playful indeed.
But Kublai would be missed after a little while
I would have to search and find my shy little pal.
His eyes were sad and his face long and droopy
we both knew he had a mess the little poopy
So I cleaned him up and trim there
for the old boy had quick growing hair
Than I would pick him up to hold
as he would lick my face being thankful so.
Sassy has short hair so that problem does not exist
but like Kublai the older she is the longer her hair gets
Having dogs is like having a little child
messy situations pop up but you never throw in the towel
Sometimes you want to cry but more often you laugh and smile.
Much Ado About Poo
We purchased so called “big boy pants”
complete with all their “cans and can’ts”
thought potty training a big mistake
till the day he yelled “I made a snake!!!”
Cats will cover up their load
horses drop it in the road
birds can do it while they fly
dropping it on the passersby
people do it in their homes
in rooms – complete - with useless tomes
chronicles of endless strife
missing pages - used to wipe
whales do doo-doo in the sea
where grinning people also pee
bears – they have no cant’s – they have no ‘shoulds’
they just do it in the woods
people on the other hand
think each movement something grand
ritualize the where and when
each plopping splash – a perfect ten
why must there be so much ado
‘bout when and where and how – we poo
John G. Lawless
7/26/2015