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The Poo Poo Bird
They pursued it with vigor, they pursued it with crass They hunted with valor and hope They proceeded with a dose of good Knightly sass They chased it with tackle and rope Now King Arthur declared in a boisterous voice He was tired of the usual meats And would now on demand a much wider choice On what he desired to eat 'Bring me fresh meat,' the King so declared 'Or I will boil your bones for my soup.' His Knights took to stare but were frightfully scared They would suffer all in as one group They brought the King frogs, giraffes, snake meat and ferrets As well as the meat from a bear, two bats, beaver and quail Also baboons, moose, sharks and one lonely parrot As well as a rare collection of snails 'No!' The King cried in sovereign disgust As his anger began to accrue 'If you value your lives and desire my trust You will find me new meat for my stew.' The Green Knight stepped forward to answer the call And tell of a valley which is narrow and dark Where a Creature exists who is prone to appall As its manner is both fearsome and stark 'The Poo Poo bird is the one who you need As its flesh is both salty and sweet If we are brave and you let us proceed We will bring back the most chosen of meat.' Now the only two Knights who had put away fright Were more than ready to be put to the test So the Black and Green Knights were given the right To participate in their King's meaty quest 'Let the quest begin and so be on your way,' Said the King to the two Knights of the round So in the morning they would journey for several days To the dark valley where the Poo Poos abound Now it was commonly known to those with some say That these Knights were not the right force And this was born out when after a couple of days They both determined to had forgotten their horse So they trundled along the best that they could Toward the dark valley the Green Knight had seen But walking in armor through a spectre-grey wood Was to an outsider a most comical scene 'I have to admit,' said the Black Knight in haste 'I have no knowledge that Poo Poos exist So I know nothing of their height, weight or even their taste And whether the King would find them hard to resist?' 'Be of good cheer,' the Green Knight replied 'I saw a Poo Poo bird when lost on this trail And barely escaped and I have to confide It ended my search for the Grail.' 'Now the Poo Poo is an odd looking bird Quite worthy of poetic lament But as to its mood, it is frugal and shrewd And would not lend you a farthing or cent.' 'It knows nothing of manners and fashion aside And wears a hat that is far out of date But the bird is especially bad at trying to decide Whether to wear boots, sandals or skates.' 'The Poo Poo has a tendency to whistle at night Thus depriving others of much wanted sleep And to make matters worse, it is often contrite But in the day makes nary a peep.' 'And its political bent makes not a smidgen of sense As it will cast a vote based on the facts of the case But everyone knows it gives others offense When wisdom is thrown into just such a race.' Now the days turned to night and then back into day As the Sun and the Moon took their usual turns While the Knights followed the trail slowly making their way And hoping the weather would not slow their return They reached the dark valley with the light of the Moon Where they began the hunt for the Poo Poo that night And both hoped the hunt would end fairly soon So they could slay a Poo Poo before dawns early light But they lumbered about in a state of disgrace As they made enough noise to wake a laburnum tree So what now became a most ludicrous chase As they saw neither a figget, a flapper or flea They pursued it with vigor, they pursued it with crass They hunted with valor and hope They proceeded with a dose of good Knightly sass They chased it with tackle and rope The Sun rose in the East as it most often does To warm the Knights who were spent from the grind A long night of hunting had yielded nothing because The Poo Poo bird was following one step behind The Poo Poo bird said, 'You look tired and lost Are you sure what you seek is worth such attention? It has been my experience to pay such a cost Is too much work and defies social convention.' 'Stand fast,' the Green Knight shouted, not being discreet 'We have come to make short work of your life For our King demands a prudent taste of your meat So we will carve you up with clever and knife.' 'That seems shockingly rude,' replied the bird as it should 'I am the only Poo Poo bird left of my breed And if Knights are known to do nothing but good An extinction seems the most heinous of deeds.' The Green and Black Knight lowered their heads Knowing the Poo Poo had made a strong case But disappointing the King now filled them with dread As their necks were soon to be far from their face 'But I have something,' spoke the Poo Poo to lighten the mood 'It is a delicacy and a most wondrous invention Give it to your King as I'm sure he will enjoy such a food And hopefully relieve any of his sovereign type tension.' So they returned to the castle with smiles and hope And presented the King with what the Poo Poo had given But deep in their souls they were failing to cope And hoped the day would end with them still living. Now the King was upset and poured on the heat As he let fly a most odious rant For the Knights had the gall to present a strange treat Which was a burger made from edible plants 'What is this?' The King yelled in disgust 'Do you take me for some poor pastured cow?' 'Please give it a try,' said the Knights ignoring his fuss 'It is a food worthy for one such as thou.' The King tasted the burger and it made him quite proud And praised the Knights for their courage and taste So by royal decree the Kingdom would no longer allow To eat any Creature... possessing a face The End
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