Long Nosed Poems

The night Before Christmas Eve
By Franklin Price
12/17/2016


Prologue

The Night Before Christmas
A most famous of  poems
Read  to children aloud
By their parents in homes

To children who gather
'Round the brightly lit tree
To hear Santa is coming
Presents for...

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Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I...

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Act 2. A dark, empty stage.

Marat
(standing up)

It's all a blur. It’s all a little dizzy. 
I just have dreamed a scary dream as if 
two vagabond philosophers robbed me
and killed. I must admit it's a...

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Soon, the sun was lying low, a bright full moon was now on show
Santa switched on Walnut’s glow… “Ho Ho Ho and away we go.”
Walnut played along and led the team of reindeer and their...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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Moods oscillate in cadences of peaks and valleys
Music to fractious emotions on greasy dance floors
Mistimed cues of flares smouldering relationships

Angst of redundancy seethes from within as lava
Anger is camouflaged with the cloak of reticence
Ardour suffocated...

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AS A KID AND BEYOND

did I ever wonder?
what my upbringing brought for me;
and did it disappoint
or just bring feelings to resurface,
but never sensitivities 
of deep down and personal,
and did I really care
of what there was...

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Rudolf is mysteriously born in a manger
with a flaming red nose,
and eyes,
and ears,
and hair,
everywhere.

Gingers are rare
among his DeerTribe
as is his empathic capacity to know he is going where,
how to get there,
and about how long it...

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Mitchboggin and Sillyah were best beasties for three years,
until Mitchboggin thought it would be okay, humorous even,
To make fun of orange-stomached elves,
much like some ignorants make fun of star-belly gomach-tangs.

Mitchboggin had grown up thinking this...

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On a cold, cold night with a touch of snow, a cat wished quietly and sadly for a home.
For a year he’d found nowhere with love to call home. Yes, he’d been, so very, very...

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Just because an impetus arose...

to repost poem
(I chanced to locate
amidst plethora of poems on hard drive
of Macbook Pro)
written more'n a half decade ago
before yours truly 
blissfully oblivious to crypto- 
currency shenanigans linked into

fiendish scammers after...

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Moon 
---- 
 
 
Once night Gretta Foster sat in the backyard, 
building a rocket ship that ought to take her a-far, 
she had been working day and night - tirelessly, 
hammering, programming, all so...

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a lonely place.
It's nothing to do with that person
who asked how are you? this morning.
It's to do with staring through
fear-frosted windows
as snow sugar-sifts the street,
watching through dark windows
as firework flowers burst to bloom in a...

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why are we here my friend? 

----(a soft growl came upon the wind of his exhale and he saw his own face, and gave a knowing grin akin to our softening skin) ---- 

why do...

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Late night summons madmen, 
madams, bold streetwalkers, 
picking pennies from the gutters 
as the merchants close their shutters 
and the homeless crouch in doorways 
in their rags, against the cold. 
Black or white, no compromise,...

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Light Verse

Marvell-Less
by Michael R. Burch 

Mr. Marvell was ill-named? Inform us!
Alas, his crude writings deform us:
for when trying to bed
chaste virgins, he led
off with his iron balls ginormous!


I Learned Too Late
by Michael R. Burch 

“Show,...

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TRUMP POEMS AND EPIGRAMS II

Quite Con-trary
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Trumpy, Trumpy,
fat, balding and lumpy,
how does your Rose Garden grow?
“With venom and spleen
and everything mean,
and my gasket about to blow!”

Trumpy, Trumpy,
obese and dumpy,
why...

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Moods oscillate in cadences of peaks and valleys
Music to fractious emotions on greasy dance floors
Mistimed cues of flares smouldering relationships

Angst of redundancy seethes from within as lava
Anger is camouflaged with the cloak of reticence
Ardour suffocated...

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Trump Poems and Epigrams VI

Poets laud Justice’s
high principles.
Trump just gropes
her raw genitals.
—Michael R. Burch



Dark Shroud, Silver Lining
by Michael R. Burch

Trump cares so little for the silly pests
who rise to swarm his rallies that he jests:
“The...

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By Elton Camp

It would just be the end
If by words we do offend.

There’s the devil to be paid
If we call a spade a spade.

“Vertically challenged” means short.
“Horizontally challenged,” a fat sort.

“Nondiscretionary fragrance” means we stink.
“Living...

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No winter postcards of deep snow and bliss
No winter postcards of mistletoe kiss
Winter was cold, winter was tough
Winter was long and we all had it rough
No Father Christmas, no presents for us
No wide eyed kitten...

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Late night summons madmen, 
madams, bold streetwalkers, 
picking pennies from the gutters 
as the merchants close their shutters 
and the homeless crouch in doorways 
in their rags, against the cold. 
Black or white, no compromise,...

Read More

Child of darkness, child of scorn,
the devil danced when you were born,
for demon seed from Morphy passed,
would haunt your days ‘til everlast.

Predestined to die derelict,
an iso-pawn so cynical,
how cruel a fate awaits the one
that conquered...

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Murk Rammer froze as he felt the nuzzle
of a snub-nosed thirty-eight’s deadly muzzle.
Louis The Retch poked it into his back.
“The jig’s up, Rammer. I ain’t cuttin’ no slack.”

Murk had been tricked by a double-crossing dame,
alias...

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