Long Flatulent Poems

(Created using the bAbBlE sentence generator, various text excerpts, and a minuscule bit of human editing.) 

And she smells good without keeping all ...

Beef, sitting lonely on that lies floating on the tufted floor. "Surely,"...

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"Paper Tigers"



eyes mark slow time
spotting leopard rhyme
never changing its spots
black balled
white pops
the want-to-be bees
sting the dripping honey spot

slapping cards down
kitty pots are shuffled
bluffing intelligentsia
between the gaps
flatulent poets floss their teeth
waxing lyrical strings
tied to the weary...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

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Plastic is confronting
This planet her with bio war.
I have deduced
earths health is threatened.
Garbage makers who crave flatulent cows
And demand that we should breed them,
So, they can eat them
Why should you be fed cows?

That eat our...

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It’s evolution and for sure we’ve come some automatic way since
		
               Darwin marvelled at volcanoes in Galapagos and still
		
  ...

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In the beginning there was a lonely word but soon after
            there was no room at the meagre hostel for the saviour

Sanguine hopes flash-flooded...

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The odor I get The more pungent I get,                          ...

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cinnamon seeps into the home and I can already smell the sugar crumble

a fragrance of childhood innocence captures memories and recollections

different times they were when fresh food could only be bought in season

or harvested from...

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They channelized the news
the quick zapped flash of fact undeniably
taking the opportunity by storm
by the contortions of varsity
they proclaimed so devoutly
the new acceptable norm
of an already butchered normality

And who with applause
with the legalized blurb
of an...

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Eccentric Emma, third world charity advocator
Posts smiling foreground photos in mud slewn villages
Personifying inconsistency wafts remote mantra
Mind realm torrents when Followers Like - limitless! 

Travels to India restore her heart's connection
Finds enhanced spirit to spruke...

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Rancid lemon rope squeeze
around a rotten tomato neck tie,
crooked odor bow hanging out of place 
Acid reflux raisin tax bleed;
dripping spoiled, milquetoast lies
out a sour-twisted, prune puckered face

Tart tongue 
sulfur speak disorderly,
dirty saliva fingers in...

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If you hear the sound of rat-tat-a-tat
It's not a woodpecker or a chattering cat
Tis George F. Latulence an aristocrat
Playing ping pong with his gold crested bat.

A competitor and show-off he deems to be
Dresses each day...

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An old gal applied to join Mensa
Gee she couldn’t be any denser
She went in the wrong door
On the thirty third floor
And there she enrolled as a fencer

When attending her first fencing class
A man scored a...

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the tattoo on her eyebrow frowned

at the sight of yesteryear’s cutlass

the well-rounded blade had become

blunt dull and worn down from overuse 

and yet straight to the point of salvation


the pain cut unceremoniously deep

like a double-edged...

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from the everlasting scrap yard of common decency

and the slaughter fields of raging battles never won

the stench of broken values rises in foul smelling loss

perfumed no doubt by the false values and belief of

glory fame...

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'The storms are raging on the rollin' sea, and on the highway of regret'


It was surfers' paradise weather but he had only captured a dinghy

Made from lost dreams and drift wood collected in seasons of...

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The fact is you rhyme 
like a flatulent behind
and that’s me kind
you’re a waste of time 
and time isn’t indication you climb 
stuck same place is basically decline

So it’s something you got in to
but it’s...

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I seldom look in
the mirror anymore,
my razor-blade with an 
edge of jagged rust – 

gave up “Creature features” 
with my early need to scare 
a girl into my arms at the theater  

a shower...

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"The scientific law of causality states every effect
(such as a fart)
has a cause
(such as beans for supper)."
-- beyond all Rational doubt
a deep Truth
to digest full

*   *   *

In a universe causal, alas,
no...

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Just as eating too much cake 
will give you a bellyache,
genuine con is always real fake

An artful eye can chiseler tell
if Mona Lisa’s smile ain’t original
Forged truth ring alarm bells,
imitation lip-sync is the trip signal

Ducky...

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POINTING TO THE PROBLEMS 
  {Bivouacs}

Beat down with legal fees
Tied up with taxes;
Tripped up with mortgages;
Ripped off with student loans
Insulted with insurance
Telephone updates.

Out of date opts,
New upgrade rates;
Food on the down-low
Carrots in the closet;
Conjugating...

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Boy! am I a Lard
                              ...

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A child scratches a spacecraft in the dust,
He does not call it a 'spacecraft'
because it is 1911. The Colt Firearm Company
has patented the first reliable semi-automatic pistol;
it does not look like any other handgun.
Decades earlier,...

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The first derriere shot,
that killed everyone’s appetite,
came from a second-rate, 
light tipping looter

A no-class hothead bum,
who had bun fiddy no-good burger 
burglar instincts

Amateur night out
introduced a new bottom bang-bang 
beatnik on the back end drum...

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that japanese ladybug, that harlequin ladybird, that
asian lady beetle, that harmonia axyridis,
invading, infesting, multiplying & spreading all over the inside of one’s
domain
(a lo largo de las grietas del techo, zumbando alrededor de las lámparas,
escondido en...

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