Freddie Robinson Jr. Poet Burlesque

First Person Pooter

The first derriere shot,
that killed everyone’s appetite,
came from a second-rate, 
light tipping looter

A no-class hothead bum,
who had bun fiddy no-good burger 
burglar instincts

Amateur night out
introduced a new bottom bang-bang 
beatnik on the back end drum — 

A queasy gut alley cat
addicted to 
	       the sugar:
	white powdered yum-yum
Twitchy turned into a bad olfactory rat,
when he got glutty on the job ...
and belly forgot to pack his Tums

Intestinal spastic shock
sent the masked night hooter
crooning outhouse slop jar 
bullet belch serenades:
Involuntary gastro scattershots

First person pooter,
behind-the-back six-grunt shooter
Separating good friends and loved ones
from their paid ambience indulgence

First person pooter,
fast sphincter sewer hole Roto-rooter
Giving fatal flatulent body shots:
a culinary coroner table experience — 

Breath held, back bent ... restroom sent
Unfiltered air 
on a cadaver nose,     dead zone blast
Collecting all fine dining tips,
with a rancid mist that withers grass

Amateur Rooti-toot Tooter
got a bad air attitude
Graduated last 
in How-to-be-a-Crook class

Now he’s Number One Most Wanted
First person pooter
Cold dish crook with blazing cheek guns — 
He’s such a quick draw
backdoor shooter

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Pandita Sietesantos September 13, 2018 at 11:35 AM Dear Rico, super talented poet, I am so honored that you found inspiration for this hilarious piece from reading my poem! I am rocking with laughter - tears pouring down my cheeks! Hahaha - this is a great fun read - great imagery, alliterations, all the elements that make it enjoyable reading! Love it! Hugs and love. Pandita