Kipper Poems | Examples

Red Herring

As a young boy
when not very old
I did enjoy
being told
grisly bedtime stories
by my Mother
the favourite was
none other
than
altho' I was just a nipper
Whitechapel Fishmonger Murders
perpetrated by
Jack the Kipper

WTC Postman Pat

Another hallowed arrow from his quivers

One of cricket’s greatest shiver givers

Coursing down your spine like rivers

Fine line..never dithers as slivers 

Of adversaries hopes on the ropes..withers

Tipples tickle our livers

The latest tropes of how

Somehow…anyhow won’t kowtow

Postman Pat delivers


Matinee idol looks tease

Record books hooks please

Finds batters crannies & 

Nooks with such ease


Impeccable length…metronomic 

Chin music chagrin

Such strength..astronomic

Gift of getting the ball to lift

Chronic bounce…hedonic


With his swag bag of quicks tricks

Name on the adored hall of fame 

Lords boards with six..another Cummins elite fix

Beat Bob Willis’s record tome of the best 

Test figures for a captain at cricket’s home..


Yep..yet another done like a kipper

By this chipper ripper skipper

Who’s not found wanting

His chiselled jaw..up there for sure 

With the mean hardcore

Ponting or Waugh

As the best Test baggie green

Top draw Captain (not woke...just a better bloke) seen on screen

Or that’s maybe ever been

Out of the Closet

Night wrinkles on dim hangers;
bell-bottom pants
two-toned platform shoes
a wide `kipper' tie.

In a pocket
a crumpled Kodachrome -
hot pants and velvet neck-choker.
‘Who is she?’

This closet is a time machine
I exited decades ago.
Dreaming hands part a frilled dress shirt
from its sky-blue tuxedo.

A stripy tank-top.
dances badly to ‘Brown Sugar’
damn you Mike Jagger
you created a monster.

There’s a rum and coke stain
floating like a ghost
through fading threads.

Time, now exhausted,
falls back onto a pillow
the wardrobe trembles like a Tardis
then disappears
into its blue police box
where every garb ever worn
still fits.

Who are you?
I am a hairy hippy, I glitter,
and Jesus Christ is still a Super Star.
She’s a sexy girl who won’t let me sleep.

Wire hangers rattle in the dark
a metallic laughter.
Nerves jiggle restless legs.

Dining On the Seas of Time

He chose to dine on the seas of time
    to drink from Cinderella's slipper

  Alas and alack, the glass did crack ~
    sparkling champagne awash in kipper

A Kid Among Age-Comers

He's up and coming, yuppie humming, 
Down and puppy low.
He's high and drying, dancefloor-flying,
Under miles of snow.
We love him, we love him, we want him to be fine,
Want him hanging from his legs inside the sucker's vine.
He's jungle crawling, urban sprawling,
Wedged tween grizzled stone.
The horror high windows, dark doors jackdawed,
Bus-pass rattled bones.
Dance boy dance,
in the carriage of the cage,
Run carnage round the turkey-neck track.
Sing boy sing,
Do as you should be doing,
Climb headless up the cracks of the cash sack.
A new kipper to whip,
New boy to toy with,
A new fellow in town without nowt.
Nowt but his learnings,
Big feels and small earnings,
And a small voice with which he can't shout.
He's up and coming, yuppie humming, 
Got so far to go.
He's high and drying, dancefloor-flying,
Alone in dark lane, all aglow.

Ties

If I really have to wear a tie, best it is a pure silk one.
I have seen the silken threads of a thousand moths
spun on a loom.

I have seen the nimble hands of the workers
at the loom.
The meek shall inherit.

I once had a 'kipper' tie
it was not silk.

I shall eat kippers without a tie -
perhaps tomorrow
for breakfast
on a China plate.

Fishing of the Boat

Amber sunrise, clouds flee
Brushing against the horizon.
Cool river's plashy bank calls.
Dawn awakes scatter rays.
End of bait string dangles,
Float swirls. First, a nibble,
Got a fish; it bit my finger
Hard and got away.
I once again cast my line
Just sat, watch, and wait.
Kipper in its depth nibbled,
Line took a tug, a splash,
Makes a dive.
Not again, it's off
Out into the open.
Pole away, oars in hand
Quiet push home.

11/2/2021

Closeted

Night wrinkles on dim hangers.
Bell-bottom pants,
two-toned platform shoes,
a `kipper' tie,
unhinge from time and mind.

The closet door clicks shut.
Empty hangers swing-on in the dark,
rocked now
by the surviving members
of every rock band
that ever broke up.

Dont Slap a Copper With a Kipper

[Youtube clip attached as the source of my ‘copper through your
letter box line... and because I just love the song!]

Don’t slap a copper with a kipper
Don’t catch your todger in your zipper
Don’t put the peas on if you cannot watch the pot
And if your wife should ask don’t say the weather girl is hot

And don’t play Twister with a hippo
Or light a firecracker with a zippo
Don’t date a sure bet if you’ve got holes in your socks
Don’t try to post a copper through your letter box
For that will be a squeeze but you won’t get past his boots
Don’t pull you’re little sister’s hair out by the roots
Don’t hold a bank up with a plastic BB gun
Don’t ski down K2 just because it sounds like fun

Don’t drive a Datsun in Stetson
And don’t wipe your visor with a wet one
And don’t quarrel with your wife, or venom she will hurl
She’ll say why don’t you run off with your little weather girl

And don’t dress like Lennon at a Rolling Stones revival
If you have inside your head the notion of survival

For Eternity

Heartstrings levered,
Your skin foliated, 

We tug our veins in a last passage,
Kipper the medical syndrome, 
Cancer made you the sacrificed... 

I clasp my little baby boy,
His eyes are the silencer, 

Let life be the sequencer,
You will remain in my storge,
Heaved in my heart. 

Cancroid will flush my benign,
My water of life,
Dad will always love you.

Fate Smilling My Way, Finders Keepers

Roy moves in grace of seasons
All the good ones gracing him
She approaches offers salaams
Did I Rui say i missed her sooo

That Smile that hidden that look
With muses were at me smiling 
What better way and day to pen
Than with her on mine side now

Of stars twinkling in the lawns
Ode delights spring in gardens
Of hope and artistic ingenuity

Am blessed of the light I behold
I so so yearn its a yes and it fit
Yes it'sa real fit on tha fine finger

If you find a keeper then do this
Put a ring on it with fate smiling
Finders keepers I found a kipper 


Code254
2021 Year Of Love
Return Of The MazRui'

Song of the Sea

Sailing oceans on my clipper 
She was named the Song of the Sea
I'm her only female skipper
My name it is Rosie Marie

I love to hear the songs of whales
Sailing oceans on my clipper
Folks gather for to hear my tales 
of a humpback known as Flipper

I would hand feed him smoked kipper
As he swam alongside my ship
Sailing oceans on my clipper
Singing was his bargaining chip

Charmed and entranced by his whale song
Crisscrossing oceans with Flipper
Loving this humpback for so long
Sailing oceans on my clipper

Written 25th January 2020

Contest: Distant Refrains
Sponsor Joseph May
4th Place

Picture 3
8 syllables per line checked with: howmanysyllables.com

Contest Strand  No 670
Sponsor Brian Strand 
HONORABLE MENTION

A Wardrobe Malfuction

A vision only my sleeping eyes 
can see:

Night wrinkles on dim hangers.
Bell-bottom pants,
two-toned platform shoes,
a `kipper' tie,
unhinge from time and mind.

Then the closet door 
clicks shut like a shell.
Empty hangers swing-on in the dark,
rocked now 
by the surviving members
of the Rolling Stones.

A Fishy Tale

One night an octopus said,
Those whelks should be in bed.
Said the herring to the plaice,
Would you please say grace.
"I say" said a passing whale,
"Is that kipper for sale."
There is somethingvery odd,
Repied a bewildered cod.
"Excuse me" asked the shark,
"Did you hear that dogfish bark".
The haddock with a smile serene,
Said the mermaid is our queen.
May I join you said the seal,
To the mackerel with some appeal.
Of course the snapper replied,
Yes,yes the mullet cried.

Roman Style

A young girl backed into my zipper
On a bus too crowded for kipper
With pressure exerted
My little thing spurted
What seemed to be from the Big Dipper!

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