Short Kipper Poems

A kipper is proof that smoking is bad for your health!

9th March 2016...

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A young girl backed into my zipper
On a bus too crowded for kipper
With pressure exerted
My little thing spurted
What seemed to be from the Big Dipper!...

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He chose to dine on the seas of time
    to drink from Cinderella's slipper

  Alas and alack, the glass did crack ~
    sparkling champagne awash in kipper...

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The Man with a Kipper on his head

I was told of a man from Westward Ho! 
Who always wore a Kipper on his head.
It was asked of him, why do you wear it so? 
“Well, I used to wear a Trout,  
but prefer a Kipper instead!”...

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Night wrinkles on dim hangers.
Bell-bottom pants,
two-toned platform shoes,
a `kipper' tie,
unhinge from time and mind.

The closet door clicks shut.
Empty hangers swing-on in the dark,
rocked now
by the surviving members
of every rock band
that ever broke up....

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Jack the Ripper,
As a savage nipper,
Possibly slashed his toys,
And didn’t play with other boys.

Jack the Ripper
May have liked kipper,
But he ate a kidney one day -
Or, at least, so people often say.

For Andrea's Show me the Funny contest, Part Two
Originally for PD’s clerihew contest...

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A vision only my sleeping eyes 
can see:

Night wrinkles on dim hangers.
Bell-bottom pants,
two-toned platform shoes,
a `kipper' tie,
unhinge from time and mind.

Then the closet door 
clicks shut like a shell.
Empty hangers swing-on in the dark,
rocked now 
by the surviving members
of the Rolling Stones....

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If I really have to wear a tie, best it is a pure silk one.
I have seen the silken threads of a thousand moths
spun on a loom.

I have seen the nimble hands of the workers
at the loom.
The meek shall inherit.

I once had a 'kipper' tie
it was not silk.

I shall eat kippers without a tie -
perhaps tomorrow
for breakfast
on a China plate....

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Heartstrings levered,
Your skin foliated, 

We tug our veins in a last passage,
Kipper the medical syndrome, 
Cancer made you the sacrificed... 

I clasp my little baby boy,
His eyes are the silencer, 

Let life be the sequencer,
You will remain in my storge,
Heaved in my heart. 

Cancroid will flush my benign,
My water of life,
Dad will always love you....

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Sick track, busting tha' bullies.
Gym parasite, I have multiple skills.
Dependable on self. Powerful mind and body.
Jealous ones' envy.
Monetary skill, economic power, great education.
You low-life, pardon me?
Bullying is a scum's practice, you superiority complex hatred fiend.
I will bully you back, crush your backside
Do not mess with this bully.
You shall be done up like a dead kipper.
But you know you are more meaningless than a kipper...

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Amber sunrise, clouds flee
Brushing against the horizon.
Cool river's plashy bank calls.
Dawn awakes scatter rays.
End of bait string dangles,
Float swirls. First, a nibble,
Got a fish; it bit my finger
Hard and got away.
I once again cast my line
Just sat, watch, and wait.
Kipper in its depth nibbled,
Line took a tug, a splash,
Makes a dive.
Not again, it's off
Out into the open.
Pole away, oars in hand
Quiet push home.

11/2/2021...

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One night an octopus said,
Those whelks should be in bed.
Said the herring to the plaice,
Would you please say grace.
"I say" said a passing whale,
"Is that kipper for sale."
There is somethingvery odd,
Repied a bewildered cod.
"Excuse me" asked the shark,
"Did you hear that dogfish bark".
The haddock with a smile serene,
Said the mermaid is our queen.
May I join you said the seal,
To the mackerel with some appeal.
Of course the snapper replied,
Yes,yes the mullet cried....

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