Dont Slap a Copper With a Kipper

[Youtube clip attached as the source of my ‘copper through your letter box line... and because I just love the song!] Don’t slap a copper with a kipper Don’t catch your todger in your zipper Don’t put the peas on if you cannot watch the pot And if your wife should ask don’t say the weather girl is hot And don’t play Twister with a hippo Or light a firecracker with a zippo Don’t date a sure bet if you’ve got holes in your socks Don’t try to post a copper through your letter box For that will be a squeeze but you won’t get past his boots Don’t pull you’re little sister’s hair out by the roots Don’t hold a bank up with a plastic BB gun Don’t ski down K2 just because it sounds like fun Don’t drive a Datsun in Stetson And don’t wipe your visor with a wet one And don’t quarrel with your wife, or venom she will hurl She’ll say why don’t you run off with your little weather girl And don’t dress like Lennon at a Rolling Stones revival If you have inside your head the notion of survival