The hard times profoundly strikes
ever so strongly my private space.
Not to be invaded in the sanctum of the inner woods,
I build a boundless wall seemingly impenetrable,
creating a cocoon of imposed isolation
for the soul to be preserved in the bliss of insulation.
I become a lone prisoner of my making,
captive behind the wall of false sense of volatile pride.
I find you disappear like mist beyond my garden,
taking the fragrance of flowers I love to see blossom.
I’m caught in the dichotomy web of entangled confusion,
break the wall or stay secluded within the cage.
When time comes to travel to the twilight horizon,
the instinct of self-preservation dwindles in debris,
the wall collapses with the shattered senile senses.
I see the last sun ray drizzle through the woods’ canopy,
from the free sky where my soul flies like a bird.
October 10, 2020
Contest : All Yours (Jan 24)
Sponsor : Brian Strand
Timid upon standing
Flailing at equilibrium
with outstretched fingertips
Desperate to grasp that which is unattainable
for now and conceivably forever
Anguish consumes the frontal cortex
as the lower brain pulls the strings emphatically
Enlightenment is thwarted by an insatiable thirst
for pleasure and unapologetic indulgence
Sedated and aloof
Injected with a serum that nullifies
cerebral interjection
The mind becomes a host
for any poisonous intrusion
Undefended and vulnerable
Trembling in a remote corner
before ultimately succumbing
to a sobering silence
It's a self-imposed curse, loneliness is perverse
In self-pity you wash, in lethargy you slosh
You care what others think, while your own ego shrinks
You don't walk, you just slink -- in your eyes you just stink...
But the truth, you should know, is that others tiptoe
Around you 'cos you're blue, and the fact is they rue
That you're quite dainty too, a real delicate fool...
If you'd like to know how to snap out of it now
Try to join something fun, you're not the only one
Who has ever been down, gone around with a frown...
So please heed my advice, it'll work out quite nice
You'll get rid of your curse -- and with that ends this verse
folded into her
own crinkled
wrinkled
newsprint self,
delight and enthusiasm rapidly
dissipate
Torn pieces of herself
languish
in her own self-imposed
purgatory
joyless, she sees nothing
of her former light.
In greyscale, her
essence
waits in anguish for
the return of self.
I followed her to China
I followed her to Spain
I traipsed behind her neck bones.
I marveled at her brain.
She asked me to please leave
Which really hurt my feelings.
She called the county cops.
Which left my mind a reeling.
I followed her to spinning class.
I followed her to planets Z and Zoom.
I followed her to her grandma’s.
Where the old biddy killed me with a broom.
The cops slowly came running
Breathing fast, due to being too well fed.
I yelled they should arrest her,
But then I realized I was not quite dead.
She said that woman is my stalker.
Please lock her up in jail.
So here I sit lamenting
Writing this self-imposed bad tale.
I’m lodged in this train on a top spot
yet alone...while others trace a blue noon amiably,
As dewed mist holds me immovable
From my row ... the toot of a loud whistle
makes me want to peep out restlessly.
This journey is intermittent through my solos of night,
where most wayfarers gig on-- animated, pleasant--
and they know where they're headed to, come eve,
this clear level of certainty... a destination so sure
relishing coffee, time's sagas with much fervor:
Here I am, listening to their seemingly deified hums
as the tenet of my life idly churns like rusted wheels,
that a hazy eye gazes at an aching moon
its glint wondering about my self- imposed deed of alienation.
Palindromes Contest for Joseph May
5/20/2018
In misery she sits and sighs
in darkness with the shades all closed.
She counts her problems, stares, and cries
in isolation self-imposed.
In darkness with the shades all closed,
she contemplates a world gone gray
in isolation self-imposed,
and troubles keep her joy at bay.
She contemplates a world gone gray.
Anxiety confounds her mind,
and troubles keep her joy at bay.
She longs to leave the dark behind.
Anxiety confounds her mind.
She counts her problems, stares, and cries.
She longs to leave the dark behind.
In misery she sits and sighs.
I invite this pain,
Upon myself willingly;
Plunging a sharp sword each day,
Into my own heart,
You cannot see my deep wounds;
My own self-inflicted scars.
I pen my sad words,
From a damaged weeping place;
I send my poems on wings,
Written with my blood,
Swirling in the mighty wind,
Will they land in gentle hands.
____________________________
January 20, 2016
Poetry/Sedoka/Self-Imposed Pain
Copyright Protected, ID 16- 747-585-0
Al Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Self-Inflicted,
sponsor, Anthony Slausen
Third Place
I want to go back to my country
But I can't seem to find the way
Poverty is blurring the coordinates
With every passing day
I want to sit with my family
And speak my native tongue
Eat my mother’s home cooked meals
And feel that I belong
I am happy to have the work I do
At least it pays the rent
But after buying food and clothes
I wonder where the money went
How do I talk to my children?
About the place that I call home
To them it's just a story
that I tell when I feel alone.
I worry about my parents
And the strife they daily face
In a place once rich and vibrant
Now sadly out of grace.
The burden of chasing an
imposed dream
May thwart u fully or make u
scream
U cannot do
justice,whatever it be,
As though it is an apple on a
mango-tree!
The heart will never follow
that way...
Where it doesnot have a
say...
It loves to enjoy the comfort
of freedom..
Even if it leads to martyrdom!
So enslave your dreams like
a master
& u will fulfil those really
faster...
Never succumb to an
imposed dream....
To avoid the fate of a leaf in
the stream......!
Dedicate to human rights Mr. Anna Hazare activist that fought for free corrupt Indian society.
this poem is a result of my disappointment.
Inhabitable lineal consanguinity, paraphernalia under the subordination.
A resourceful visible Bond, to colonize the characteristic of vocation.
To command inhabited Living, to obtain Ledger of human grace,
Aristocrat, Barbarian excommunication, excellence of allocation.
Mom says,’ Son’ go and sleep’ rising Sun brings bounded calculation’.
Intensive, restraint viscosity reliance, consciousness of annihilation,
A grain roaster, provocative nobler, a big bundle of convocation.
Bubbling well being blazed meandering futurist contrivance face,
A winnover shabby, recommital mumpish, a rational versification.
A readymade self imposed Leader fatal solubility calcumination.
Mum says,’ Son, ‘go and sleep, optimist opportunist evaluating eternity’.
Mom never says,’ son, ‘go and fight’ recarnation is a mean formality’.
*^*
====================
Urbane cavalcade - flaunt in gaiety
Warbling hymns in ego - cyclicity
Jigging gracile moves in vivacity
Relishing in zest in this gravity
Kinsfolk in flamboyant fete - oh its fate?
Smiles, elation in face delineate
Like nothing's wrong makes me exasperate
No one cares? No one adores? it's too late
Recurrent nightmares peeve me in sublime
Making incubuses remorse in rhyme
Bequeathing qualm, fright and fear - death like crime
Kith and kin in laughs while I'm in grave time...
Storm clouds nestling Earth crying myriad tears
Totem poles stand like Death’s coming soon – near
Feeling of being neglected –in fear
Am I really being loved? Cry? can’t hear. . .
================================================
All this hyped up glam and glitz
giggly girls break down in fits
these mascara clad boys devoid of wits
The shallower they go, the deeper it gets
Sillouettes lacking inner angles and lines...
The substance goes absent when the light shines...
Plotless drama without direction, still winds
These tragically bad fads spread like vines
Overrun with Reality shows depicting what's REAL
A mass zombie audience digesting their meal
Not In, but outside, this box they soften like veal
Staring at a screen that numbs how they feel
When did the war on intelligence start?
Losers not knowing that losing's not smart...
Cable providers gladly doing their part
News channels selling half-truth ala carte
I will be a rebel and fight for your mind
Hiding remote-controls where they won't find
Trading entertainment for knowledge in kind
Giving books out to the voluntarily blind
It's gonna be a BATTLE!!! WHO'S COMING WITH ME??!!
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