I have to go pee you see and my bladder is oh so tiny
so won't you please hurry, no don't show your hiney
one leg up
on leg down
go ahead leak, then get out of my way, ... Oh Blimey!
Riding the porcelain pony
the chemo hershey squirts
Not my favorite moments
but your inspiration for song
helps me get it along
and I come out laughing now
I am doing tea and toast for breakfast
a banana chaser oh how passe
I feel just like a toddler
right down to my sore hiney
Still I am laughing on the inside
and writing on with pride
for this too soon shall pass I know
And I love joking with you
and sure do miss you
a chat with you makes my days flow
So laugh for the comedian girl
she's going through something
but will triumph in the end
She standing up to cancer
cause that
and with that I tell you again
I love you see you soon
Standing up to cancer , Artimus (C) Susan Manley 11/1/2023 10:04AM
Country music, his influence.
Ol' Claus was drunk from strong bourbon whiskey
Then touched Rudolph and tried to get frisky
Rudolph said no way
Us deer's are not gay
And placed a hoof print on his fat hiney...
Written 14th of December 2021
I Need a Good Laugh: XMAS LIMERICK CONTEST
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich
Springtime
Springtime, springtime it’s in the air.
Gonna put on my shorts and sandals and visit the local state fair.
The flowers are all blooming and the breeze feels so nice.
Maybe I’ll take a stroll in the park and get a rainbow italian ice.
Just love seeing the baby rabbits and squirrels frolicking and having fun.
And it’s great being able to play tennis and volleyball all day in the sun.
But springtime, springtime isn’t all it's cut out to be.
‘Cause when walking through the grass and bushes you see,
I got a bad case of poison ivy on my legs and hiney.
Plus I got a thorn stuck in my big toe too.
Then found someone’s old bubble gum stuck to my sandal that they spit out after they chewed.
So I’m waiting for fall or winter season and hope my fortune will improve.
And until then, I’m just gonna lay on my couch all day and not move.
I am a sea shell
exotic and rare
delicate, luminescent
beyond compare
I once was a home
for a creature so tiny
who hid in my depths
protecting her hiney
For she was so lovely
she gleamed and she shined
that she would've been eaten
in that tasty sea brine
But I gave her long life
in my hard purple shell
no one knew she was there
(or they couldn't quite tell)
And I loved her so much
that I named her Ariadne
and fed her tiny bits
of juicy sea debris
'Though she died long ago
and no longer is here
you can still hear her spirit
if you hold me to your ear
the air is nose runnin' cold
this rare day off is so needed
the only thing missing is the soft sound of your voice
too bad you had to work today
just know that i am thinking of you
of course, you won't believe me
deep down you wanna hit me with one of your overpriced pillows
i just smile and enjoy the day similar to the one you had just yesterday
i assure you that i am honest with my unspoken dedication
with a stolen kiss on the right cheek of your hiney, i go back the dreaming about driving to the coast
i should kick my own behind for waiting till the last minute to tell you about my idea
then again, we are leaving for the coast in a few weeks, so i remain calm in slumber
my cheap manpillow i firmly hold, i let the air consume me, which is wonderfully nose runnin' cold
i await your killing of me for that later....
NBA Finals Prayer
Lord, blesseth thine Warriors
And treateth not thine Fans
with a such a Cavalier attitude.
Thy restoreth our soles.
Thy quickeneth and brusheth off our feet of Klay.
Thy maketh passes down for Green fast breaks.
Yea, though we've walked through
the Valley of Lebron,
we shall fear no Dellavedova.
Thy Ref and thy Stef, they comfort us.
Thou preparest a bench for Mike Miller to keep warm
in the absence of his highness' hiney Heat.
Thou anointest Anderson Varejao's head with jojoba oil;
My Curry runneth over.
Surely championships and endorsements
shall follow us all the years of our careers.
And we will dwell in the house of the Oracle for Game Seven
(if necessary).
Amen
Psalm 23, King James Aversion
Composed and published by Damian Hinman June 16, 2015
GIVE ME A HOG by keith
Gimme a hog
Make it low to the ground
Gimme a hog
So I can get around
Gimme a hog
‘cause they’s the dope
Gimme a hog
One like the pope.
Gimme a hog
Make it all nice and shiny
Gimme a hog
So I can haul some hiney
There Once was an Old Miser from Queens
He was too Cheap to Pay for the Broken Zipper on his Jeans
He Jerry-Rigged it with Rope
Then Came off Looking Like a Dope
When His Craggy Hiney was Exposed
as They Fell to His Knees!
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