Heterosexual Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member Free Life

Free life

I need to live a free life
The independence of God

But I can’t from modern life
Disgusting. This is an error

“They can’t recognize. All sick
That psychology is poor in soul."

"Their sexual problem is your life
You are heterosexual. Abnormal!"
Said Satan

I live in England. I love women. Only
“You are an observed suspicious person."

What?!
“You live alone. A Bible reader. You love women. Only?!
That could be a problem there. You are not sexually modern.”

I live alone, like a priest. Is this a problem? Why?
“Yes, you are a meat, that psychology needs meat.”

??

“They spread their lifestyle. And they stop your seed there
You must be homogeneous there. You are inferior.”

Thank you. Now everything is clear
But where does this come from?

“But where does this radiate from?
Hmm. Well, well, you found a building.”

Where is free life? Where?
Where is independence?

"There is only one
In your heart."
Said Master Satan

My Mother Was Catatonic

My mother was catatonic, symphonic chronic is what I smoke.
Livinin it bougie, choosin floosies no uzis and then I choke.
You can be me, insane cerebral cortex is
just what I feel.
Living pervy swerving Lexus and hexes to get the deal!
I'm the homosexual, heterosexual, suicidal bloke.
I was adopted by white family and to them I'm just a joke.
They are white supremacist hollow and they drink a racist coke.
And they bought themselves a black kid, broke me down and built a moat.
I'm the illest of the illest, you the illest with a pill.
Donate plasma with no athesma, drain so much I start to spill!
Got the game on lock with fakers who found out that words can kill.
Better bump this  on speakers like I invented free will!
Spendin money by the twenties gettin hundies by the bill..
And I'll never stand for the flag so you coonies can in chill!
If my words had a flavor I'm sure I'd be spicy dill.
Bringing back the old school freshness like my name is Uncle Phil!

Premium Member Can We Still Be Friends

I am a Socialist. Can we be friends?
Sure. I believe in some of the same things you do.
I am a heterosexual. Would you hold that against me?
Not if you don’t make me into one.

I cannot stand liberals. What do you dislike about them?
Not sure, but my mother said to hate them, so I do.
All right.
Are you a liberal? Not right this second.

I like to garden. I don’t but we might find something else in common.
I do not like to shop. I love to shop.
I am allergic to peanut butter. Oops! I say as open up a bag of peanuts.
We agree to be outside friends, across the garden. We wave.

I am a non-reader. Good. I will read to you.
I am old. Is that a problem? I do not see how.
I still bite people but only when they make me angry.
I think you might want to attend the other party at the house next door.

Can we still be friends?
Sure.
Can I call you grandma?
No.

Premium Member A Place For Everyone

My EarthMom,
whom I worshiped without question
at least until age ten,
often repeated,
"A place for everything
and everything in its place."

She was usually talking about kitchen tools,
but I took this issue of place
more personally.

By age ten,
I knew universal hospitality
and redemption
do not invite
or even intend
to include me.

Well-placed safe homes
exclude me,
out of place
in a heterosexual world view
and no natural
or spiritual place to hide
except trembling within demonic secrecy.

It took me awhile,
at least a couple decades
of shunning my beloved Mom

To realize my placement problem
has less to do with choosing to hide
in my out of place closet,
and everything to do 
with unquestioned dogmatic homophobia
carrying on in the family room.

Premium Member They'Re Coming To Take Us Away

~ Just thinkin' tonight ~

They're coming to take us away
  Ha, ha, ho, ho, tee, hee
The Woke Ones; ha, ha, hee, hee
  They're coming for you and me

Fluid sexual preferences, ho, ho
  Today I'm straight; tonight, a homo
My gender I change like underwear, ha, ha
  I can be Yoko Ono or Yo Yo Ma

LGBTQ is the way to be, tee hee
  No more being heterosexual, you see
'Cos that would make you reactionary
  a fate worse than being white, hee, hee

And as for race, you're in first place
  if you're a minority -- though only black
or brown, so you'd better frown if
  you're Korean or Chinese, tee, hee

Oh, they're coming to take us away
  Ha, ha, ho, ho, hee, hee
The Woke Ones are coming for you and me
  Riding Mindless Waves of Identity

Premium Member I'm Coming Out

I'm coming out of the closet today
barking it out to the universe
to liberate my gem from the clay.

I'm a... HETEROSEXUAL male!
I find women to be a fabulous creation
I want to dance, converse, and sing with them
I'd like to make love to the souls of most of them.

I'm a proud HETEROSEXUAL male and not afraid to say it.
My banner is colorless and made of tempered glass.
It's quiet -never snaps at the wind. 
If you try to smash it, it just may shred your hand.

I'm throwing a coming-out party for 90 percent of the world.
B.Y.O. beer, shield, and spear.

Not Ha Ha Funny


My friends call me gay,
not ha ha funny
My enemies call me *****,
they say I dress
like an androdyous honey
My mama with tough love,
tells me:
I’m living a sinful lifestyle
My daddy growls and disavows:
says I’m his biological son,
but not his spiritual child
Nothing is ha ha funny
about this situation at all
Mixed emotions got me
on a Bunson burn
Beaker of roiling XY chromsomes
and testosterone hormones
Homosexual agony
is tormenting me
Desires I feel for another man;
attraction so strong, so womanly
God said those feelings ain’t natural,
and shouldn’t be inside of me tempting
Not one safe place to breathe
in this heterosexual society
I got man-sized hands
and a feminine weighted heart
But, do you wanna know 
the real funny part
I’ll give you a good 
Pagliacci laughing head start
My partner likes to dress up 
as a man
Likes to wear custom fabric pants
Drapes himself in the dark cloak
of a masculine life
But says he can only be himself
when he’s around me,
and away from his wife
Ha ha ... funny story, don’t you think — 
I think not!

Premium Member On Gender

Nearly sixty I am
heterosexual mostly
once or twice I dreamed 
about sex with men
but these men were
not men
they were soft skinned
and pretty
no excuse though
they were by gender
men
I am confused about that.....
what would you do?
kiss, caress, kiss, fondle
and then what?
looking for gina I find ?
what now
go with the flow
repulse, vomit
commit, engage
after all
I think not
to pursue this
line of snorting
on the mirror
perhaps the answer is
in the mirror.

Premium Member Simple Musings From a Heterosexual Male With Unkempt Facial Hair

Every discovery started with absolutely 
     no idea of where to start...
     
     There is not enough time in a lifetime
     to measure success...

     Just as there is pain in uncertainty,
     there is peace in faith...

     We thrive in our communal happiness,
     we parish in derisive pain...

     Death is much less reliable in peace.
     In war, we can put up a more 
     reasonable defense...

     We can waste a lifetime seeking happiness
     from someone else's approval...

     Our happiness should always be seen
     in the kindness of our eyes...

     With desires held in check,
     less becomes more...

     When a smile becomes a laugh,
     you've found happiness...

     Love is helping someone discover that they
     are better than what they thought they were...

     Unfathomable contentment is a poet
     finishing the last line of a poem...

Condemned To a Fate Worse Than Edgar Allan Poe

Note to self: Never again read 'The Monk' 
by Mathew Gregory Lewis 
before drinking myself into a diabetic coma...

...All night long
The Wandering Jew requested directions to salvation;
That is to say,
Whenever I wasn't being pursued by the Bleeding Nun
- She seemed like a good enough sort
For being just another figment of my horrific imagination;
It would appear she only wanted a sanitary napkin:
"Leave me alone" I kept telling her, 
"I rarely have a spare Tampon!"
...Even in my dreams I can't seem to relate to women...
...At least I'll always be immune to Matilda's seduction...
...Because I'm only a "borderline heterosexual" 
- I'm really more of a "feline enthusiast" 
- Kinda like William S. Burroughs, I guess?

...This was quite possibly the worst nightmare I've had 
Ever since dreaming about 
Ambrose Bierce's 'The Damned Thing' 
- I wish I never had to sleep again...
...I'm terrified to dream of 'The King in Yellow' 
by Robert W. Chambers! 
I have been condemned to a fate worse than Poe!
And H.P. Lovecraft is sooo-oh-oh-oh,
Ridiculously jealous of me too!
So don't start to panic - It isn't just you...

Premium Member My Sexuality

There is Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual and Asexual.
I don't fit into any of those categories at all.
I'm sexually attracted to myself. I'm I-sexual.
I'm also in love with myself more than with anyone else in the world.

Losing Faith

Feeling inadequate
Succumbing to expensive habits,
My intentions are immaculate
But my love switches gear
like a driver cycling through standard shifts,
I am with doubt
That I will be able to solve this *****,
I’ve thoroughly searched through endless pages of consultation
Coming up empty
Praying, that help is on its way
before my soul drifts
and the world would then lose another precious gift,
I would have loved to possess a more meaningful kiss,
This was, after all - my timeless wish.

Whether it be friendship or sinking another’s battleship
Engaging in heterosexual relations
Or just working out some family biz,
My energy is fizzing out in establishing what a good person is,
I feel polluted like sabotaged waters and its many infected fish,
A batter who anticipated a curveball but still swung and missed,
My mind is thicker than any mist
I have unapologetically forgotten my roots
Dementiating where I came from,
and what a good person is.

Premium Member Strange Definitions 2

EXHAUSTED = Ted's all worn out

EMBARRASSES = Them bare asses

CRESCENDO = Toothpaste in your endo

HAPPINESS = Happy with your private male part

PISTOL = Charge for going pee

FOOTAGE = How old is your foot

EDUCATION = Studying while on vacation

FORTUNATE = Ate four tunas

ALTERATIONS = Change rations

INFORMATION = All lined up in a row

REGISTRATE = Reginald is heterosexual

PHOTOGRAPH = Picture of a chart

DICTIONARY = Never shun your private part

CAREER = Back end of a car

EXPOSURE = Formerly poop for sure

WINDOWPANE = Ow that wind is painful

POLITICIANS = A parrot who shuns the limelight

BLOCKBUSTERS = People who get in the way of a bus

ANNIVERSARY = Backside on backwards

CANADIAN = Ian is a good adder

OPPORTUNITY = Oh a poor choice of a nitty gritty tune

PERPETUAL = Average price of pets in the deep south

CENTIPEDES = Price per foot of a cheap pair of shoes

MISCELLANEOUS = A missile aimed at our back end



© Jack Ellison 2014

Your Chemistry

The consistency of this certain kind of Chemistry, a strong affinity, for 
heterosexual sexuality, a salacious-n-sagacious formal formality, a beautiful 
embrace enriched moral morality, I’m in love with this consistent Chemistry, of 
my ***** penetrating your penetrable virginity, our hearts beat from a 
consistency of chemistry, you balance me mentally, I’ve inhaled this chemistry 
consistently, significantly-n-viciously. 

I’m in love with your Chemistry.

Heterosexual Fish

What sorrow do I feel for the naked fish?
Swimming in a puddle-pond
a few thousand kilometers beneath
as I spiral past.
His gills are muddied, vomiting back
the spittle so recently inhaled.
Two round eyes, half white, and never
blinking.
 
FOOD LIGHT WATER
 
SWIM
 
Not much going on in there, as I peered.
 
He would not know it.
 
Should I smash him? Immediate and painless death.
 
Like the buddhist gods, I would.
 
Buddhists do believe in gods,
 
they just don't worship them.
 
They worship Me,

Sub Categories

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