Half Wit Poems | Examples

Apprehension

Apprehension a nasty culprit
Putters outside my window, that mud pit
Pulls, tugs, draws inward
Rushing towards scarred vineyard
Emotions fresh, newly healed over
Hoping to not once again spillover
Every time my being is hit
Nudged to stir emotions by some half-wit
Somehow, they stick in the knife and turn
Impale the tender taciturn
Opening the door to boiling emotions
Notions leave, fill me with Holy Spirit's devotions

All Things End

Life is slipping away with each clock tick,
no slowing down until pendulum will stop.
It’s relentless counting seems double quick,
until at last it’s become my time to drop.

Today has arrived finding me downcast,
and groping for words like some half-wit.
My happier times all snooze in my past,
but today will be what I choose to make it.

A ONE-WAY TICKET

I saw a one way ticket
A trolley full of lauggage
Checking in an apartment, not a hotel
This visitor is here to stay

I saw a sale agreement 
Not a stay receipt
I saw a full smile
Not a half-wit grin

Embraced with both hands
A bed in well made
I see no plan for departure 
This visitor looks quite settled

AI is here to stay
AI is here for good
To live side by side with our knowledge 
Always willing to help.

Sorry Art Of War

Sorry Art Of War

Somebody Said Tolstoy
Discovered The Meaning Of Life

That Can't Be Right.

Well, I Assume He Revealed
What He Discovered.

Half-Wit. Asssssumed.

I'm Afraid To Look.

I Thought I Had...

And It's Probably
Not It.

Of Course.

Sorry.

Jerk.

Who?

-Gray Squirrel

05-11-2025

Rambling Thoughts

Sleep still ain't shhtt
It's like my eyes n brain js quit
Maybe it helps sometimes..a bit
But my very own reality is soooo much more than legit.
If I never had to sleep,
I swear I'd stay running in circles 
Kuz, honestly
 I dnt see the point in any of thiss
Every single fkin person on this planet
Is fabricated from 100% plastic
I know u think I'm being a lil drastic 
Or dramatic
But I'm no half wit
You couldn't understand tha half of it
You'd be too extra with all of your calculus 
But to be honest..
 all ya gotta do is put a tiny flame to their skin
Watch them crawl and twitch n triple blink in tha fastest second u could ever pretend to think
People heard the phrase knowledge is power
But tha issue is most are too lazy to truly devour 
all of that information that they encounter
 js by clicking some buttons into their browser
Unfortunately that laziness kicks in when their brain feels a tingle
And they skim thru the pages, only looking 
None of it ever sinking in
Dumbed down..held back
Not even close to being able to 
Completely interact 
On the level our brains should be at

witch's cauldron sets the mood

witch’s cauldron had bit of a hiccup today
ghosts and goblins laughed about it a bit
Halloween humor lives beyond the fray

Dracula’s ghost appeared with a happy hey
some of the warlocks and wizards had a fit
witch’s cauldron had a bit of a hiccup today

a whisper left my arm hairs straight up in a way
who was this entity? Was I now a half-wit?
Halloween humor lives beyond the fray

My feelings were macabre, peace now at bay
Scared now, I found a cubby into which to flit
witch’s cauldron had a bit of a hiccup today

A low growl left me without anything to say
teeth marks in my arm resolved my grit
Halloween humor lives beyond the fray

my ashen face was probably a mealy gray
this cave like place was dimly drably lit
witch’s cauldron had bit of a hiccup today
Halloween humor lives beyond the fray

Persona Non Grata

            Persona Non Grata

   She was persona non grata.
   But, very blessed to not know it.
   Her loving words, but a naive sonata,
   Unaware, she was thought of, as a half wit.

   Down God’s sunny lane she looked.
   Tears rolled down her summer dress.
   But, she realized, just cold-hearted people.
   Conceited and mean, cause ugly distress.

   God in His heaven, sees what they do~
   Let no man or woman, ever downgrade you!

                         7/25/2024 poem 1


     Psalm34:18~ “ The Lord is near to the
     brokenhearted and saves the crushed
     in spirit.”

What Fascinates Me

How cool to sway naïves unaware,
Cooler still, a man of ken fair,
Even a wall were I persist,  
Not one— a half-wit puffed with air!

How pundits are plagued with spite’s tide,
Powerful with over-spilling pride,
Green horns nigh uninitiated,
Vexed, my verses had once decried. 

One may from a croc’s jaws get free, 
May sail across a maddened sea,
Wrap a cobra around his neck,
How hard to please one, fool that be!

Not so hard to get oil from sand,
Quench thirst off mirage in parched land,
Even to fetch a rabbit’s horn,
How hard to bring round a ham hand.

What fascinates: world’s attitude,
In other’s ill luck feeling good—
Schadenfreude and a Freudian glee,
How world’s today stuck with the crude! 
___________________________________
Tongue-in-cheek |06.05.2022|

Fascination and Awe Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Jeff Kyser

A Special Recommendation

I completely trust Bob
On every tricky job,
For all that he knows,
The way his thought flows;
For his wisdom that grows.

Up Bob’s idea would bob,
From cynics snatching the power to rob…

Bob never was all his life, a half wit,
Even, The Best of The Really Fit,
Who could like a gas light
Keep a firm firmly bright
To all its corner lending a white!

So, please, do not him,
As advised by Lord Kim,
Cast into a Joseph’s pit;
Or our gains are already split!

Halfway To Somewhere Else

[this was written to celebrate July 2nd, the halfway point of the year]


I've been called...
half pint
half wit
half awake
...and half a dozen other half-baked 
semi-insults that I have
half a mind 
to half-heartedly
ignore

I'm somewhere in the middle now...
mid-career
middle class
middle of the road
excess baggage in my midsection
dodging a mid-life crisis
I woke up in the middle
of a good dream

Told my friends I ran a half marathon
"so, you couldn't finish a whole one?" they joke
as I half smile
for some reason I half expected to be
half the distance to the goal by now
though the roadmap keeps changing
I'm happy to be
halfway to somewhere else

I Want You

I don't see anybody else because they aren't you.

Somedays, my inspiration flows from my fingertips
Spiraling across pages
Eloquent and heart-wrenching
Other days, I scribble dead end sentences
Sloppy and without passion

The other days aren't you.

They do matter, those half wit constructions
Providing only bits and pieces
To one beautiful work

You are a novel
Gushing from my pen

I don't want a string of simple words that fall off my pages as the seasons change
I want volumes etched into trees, bound by the earth

I want you.

I Don'T Understand

You say I don't understand
You think what you said was pure gold and that I don't understand
Damn right I don't understand!

I don't understand how you can be so closed minded
Though on outer-look, from the perspective of a half-wit, you are far sighted
You utter gibberish from your hole and you think you're right
Deep down you know you're already wrong but oh pity! you still fight
You fight thinking I could be right never knowing being wrong is alright
Ohhh yes! ohhh yes! Being wrong is alright! In fact it is humbling and delight!

You keep going this way my friend and your destiny is real far
You can't afford to be wrong because you already can't accept yourself for who you are!
I don't get how anybody cannot accept themselves for who they are!?

So,
You say I don't understand
You think what you said was pure gold and that I don't understand
Damn right I don't understand!!!

Don'T Love As If

A map's a guide to find a world

Knitted by angels,plain or pearled,

And though you need a map as guide,

Keep your own eyes open wide.


I spent a year caught in a map

Until I found a big enough gap

I crawled out through this exit slit,

So here I am,like some half wit


Words can act like heroin,

You live so high ,where I have been.

But onto earth I gladly fall.

The air the sun the rain is all.


My senses are my lovers long-

My ears,my eyes,my skin my tongue.

The winds caress my naked flesh,

To dwell on earth is all I wish.


I'll live with mice and birds and plants,

I'll share my food with miscreants

I'll keep my words inside a tin,

And only, now and then,go in.


I'll live with cats and spiders three.

And like a wild flower grow quite free.

I' ll give my words to those who hear,

And eventually I'll disappear


Earth to earth then ash to ash

When soaked with rain I shall disperse.

My atoms wing like butterflies,

And to the Flower I'll fly,disguised

Contract Hey

Contract hey

Santas on the thunderbox,
Contract given to George Knox,
He bid 20cents a tin ,
To bring the crappy nightsoil in.

Crumbob poo had made his bid,
He only had 14 kids,
25 cents a tin was it,
undercut by another half wit,
Great farting in your underjocks,
when Tarring the tins for the thunderbox

Moral of this story crude,
Contracts won by the lower dude,
How to force the wages down,
Come in sucker it’s your frown
The system has you screwed…

Don Johnson

Tom Tit

beware of the triple curse, aflame,
green fire burns out a name,
on a tombstone sombre lit,
beware of ol Tom Tit,
a legendary name...
half wit...
insane...
a bit...
so lame ......

re Russell Siveys  "Where Skeletons Lay"

Don

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