My uncle is dead.
Funeral or no funeral?
He was a blue baby; born dead.
Oxygen did not get to his brain in time.
The doctor worked on him too long.
He had multiple mental, social and emotional challenges.
He was sweet talked into a very expensive pre-paid funeral
by a cagey greedy funeral director with no morals.
He signed a contract.
The family could not get the contract annulled.
I have not seen this uncle for fifty years.
He was in a group home for most of that time.
Four people are attending.
I will not make the fifth.
I loathe the funeral home director.
Not relishing spending, one second trying to exchange niceties.
Update
His funeral was not attended by four.
Only two showed up.
That is two more people than he would allow to visit.
The last few years of life he was afraid of people as well as electricity, lightning, thunder, electrical cords, knives, brooms, and sixty other things.
Sadly the two who showed were not speaking.
One being a non-vaxed non-masked niece.
The other being a masked niece wearing a mask.
They both telephoned me to complain about the other.
I truly am glad I did not attend.
Number of recordings of someone knocking on wood
expected inside a coffin
A yoga teacher unable to disentangle her legs
Trazepe artists suspended in mid air flight
Contortionist arrested for public indecency
The snake charmer caught in a muddy sand pit
Poets drowning in an ink pot tied to their nib
Existential crises melting an iceberg of essence
Impressionist colouring in outside of the box
A funeral director counting nails of the coffin
Harlequin denuded down to the naked core
Artificial intelligence steering a robot gone mad
Jesus with Schrodinger’s whiskers on the rise
Unperturbed soldiers searching new graves
01st January 2020
We all gathered together in the Home Going of Harold Smiley
The story of life in a previous daily ride
But on this day, a deceased body traveling in the stride
A funeral will take place with Coffin and all
The Family gathered in the subway car, and they are all standing tall
The subway ride with words about the deceased
Meanwhile, the subway car has made several station stops and the passenger volume has increased
Other commuters looked on
Yet some felt they didn’t belong
Imagine a Coffin with a Funeral Director and Family aboard
One could only say, “Oh my Lord”
The reason for a funeral on the subway, it was the request of the deceased
The Cemetery was 10 subway stops down
At Sweet Chariot Cemetery, it would be the burial bound
But the subway car was silent with no one making a sound
The only sound was the subway car wheels
The whole subway funeral ride felt more like a movie reel
Yet this was for real
A decreased one from a commuter subway ride in living been
But the journey has concluded with a final end.
Funeral planning - oh what can I say
Not only are you coping with your loss
There is so much to arrange
The process took us hours and hours
Meet with the priest and funeral director
Book the church; discuss the flowers
Choose the hymns; print the order of service
Arrange the catering – how many will attend
Dad was popular he has many friends
So we catered for 100 - BIG MISTAKE
The trestle table was groaning under the weight of the platters
There was only about 50 of us…
Does anyone fancy a sandwich?
5th March 2015
The left over food got given to a charity for the homeless
I can be anything you like
the one to love you; your esquire,
I can be love’s greatest asset
or the hangman’s noose if of that you require.
I can be the bastard that spoils your day
or indeed the one that helps you cross life’s busy highway,
I can be sincere also tell you lies
stab you in the back when gullibility your byway.
I can be your fantasy or worst nightmare
play your game, then mine; come on in to my brain,
I can be your pillow give comfort to where you lay your head
also the lead weight to tie around your legs.
I can be your fun or funeral director
in heaven or hell when you die,
I can change my profile, personality
sparkle with the morning dew only then to evaporate.
I can be simple the way I was taught-created
hammer you with love threaten you with happiness,
I can be young or very old wise or worthless
contemptuous my amour an open book my soul.
I can be all of these things for today ‘tis life,
flexible elastic, pull your strings. I major in all.
Entered 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 7
poetry contest Sponsor Mark Toney
9/7/2022
Written 2014.
“Coffins. Who’d of thought it? Catalogues for coffins. And the speed and efficient nature of funerals in general. I mean I know we’ve been doing them for years, but we’re very good at it aren’t we?”
Everyone laughed.
“No, but really the whole thing has just been one task after the other, call the funeral home, call the hospital, call the crematorium, call the family, call the papers, call the lawyers.” She paused, “I’d half-forgotten someone had died!”
Everyone laughed.
“And the things that always seemed like jokes – he always said he thought he should hedge his bets with the man upstairs just in case the religious folks got it right, but was that serious?”
Everyone laughed.
“And the funeral director, oh the funeral director trying to tactfully ask if he was a fat man, by asking if we needed one urn or two.”
Everyone laughed.
“I mean the whole thing is just too funny.”
At the funeral everyone cried.
A man read a book with the title,
“You Can Be the Man of the House”!
It gave a big boost to his ego,
so he went to explain, to his spouse!
I am the Man of this House, my dear!
My word is law, let me say!
Tonight, you’ll fix me a gourmet meal,
with a sumptuous dessert, by the way!
After dinner, we're going to go upstairs,
and this is what you'll do!
You’ll wash my back, in the bathtub,
you'll towel me dry, when you’re through!
You’ll massage my back and my shoulders!
You'll massage my hands, and my feet!
You'll bring me my robe and my slippers,
when "I" decide the massaging's complete!
In the morning, guess who will dress me,
and see that my hair’s not a mess?
Without looking up from her paper, she said,
"the Funeral Director, would be my first guess"!
We were three in a group,
When we came back after preaching,
Father blessed to each other individually,
What is your bless God may bless you?
My friend was a funeral director,
He had a prayer for his success,
He was quiet happy this time,
His funeral service was very busy.
My other friend was a doctor,
He also had a prayer for his success,
His season was little quiet this year,
He was willing more patients than last year.
I was a lawyer and have prayer for success.
I was also willing more criminal cases,
If people will attempt more murder and rape,
I shall get more; it is a matter of my income.
Do you like to serve in that way as you doing?
Everyone has needs, who doesn’t like luxury?
God has power to fulfil prayers, a religious belief,
If people are servicing for self who can get relief?