Man of the House

A man read a book with the title, “You Can Be the Man of the House”! It gave a big boost to his ego, so he went to explain, to his spouse! I am the Man of this House, my dear! My word is law, let me say! Tonight, you’ll fix me a gourmet meal, with a sumptuous dessert, by the way! After dinner, we're going to go upstairs, and this is what you'll do! You’ll wash my back, in the bathtub, you'll towel me dry, when you’re through! You’ll massage my back and my shoulders! You'll massage my hands, and my feet! You'll bring me my robe and my slippers, when "I" decide the massaging's complete! In the morning, guess who will dress me, and see that my hair’s not a mess? Without looking up from her paper, she said, "the Funeral Director, would be my first guess"!