Flam Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Instagram is a sham!



So Instagram is a sham
Everyone seems smitten
With posts about a kitten
Or hosts who hate Britain
Or boasts so badly written
Toasts flam & are all bitten
Goddam is just like spam

Famalam use as a babysitter
Wham bam for any dimwitter
Won’t scram will be a big hitter
Instagram is just glam glitter

Oh please look at me vanity
Narcissist wheeze is insanity
Tease with another profanity
Disease crippling all humanity

Pedants on pews lives fritter
Algorithm queues like twitter
Bottom feeder ruse you critter
Needier travesty tapestry knitter
Greedier fuse lit & now shi*ter

Seedier impropriety just litter
Social media a society splitter 
Notoriety trolls scrolls flitter
Anxiety but folks will still titter
Piety for botox you’ll be fitter

Ham it up cash cow AI lie spitter  
Kowtow get no views so just bitter
Kapow a scam not some Ashram
Stop cropped photoshopped slop
They cram in a half baked pitta
Instagram is bust and just a sham

Premium Member finicky fastidious Freddie Farnsworth

fastidious Freddie Farnsworth forever finicky,
favored fourteen fixed formulas for fur-making.
Foregoing fantastical features, fiendishly finagling
fine-tooth-comb formulas, flabbergasting a five-star
fleet of flim-flam fellows from Finland.

Premium Member Jaunty Jovial Jackleg Lawyer

jovial jackleg lawyer was no jewel
pro-bono sounded good until we met this fool
he had a jaunty way, but jaundiced jibber jabber
We sent him packing and hired Flim Flam, a flibber flabber
F.F. was a jellyfish full of jovial jiggery-pokery
Jocundity justice was now playing with my kinfolk from Muskogee


Premium Member Flim Flam Freddy

flimflam Freddy, Frankenville’s only funeral director
actively sought out numbskulls, dimwits and nitwits
an expert in cajoling them into signing contracts
assuring them that their funerals would be exquisite
he verbally mentioned doves, orchestra, and magic shows
none of this was in the contract they signed
a contract that guaranteed nothing
a contract that assured him of unbelievable amounts of money
funerals that cost others six thousand,
cost these nimb-nuts twenty thousand
in teeny tiny print it mentioned that additional expenses might be incurred
and they were

Premium Member Jasper was Pure Slime

Jasper had broken more hearts than a hammer on speed
His conquests all thought he would return some day
Thinking that he had feelings for them, which he did not
He was a snake, a wolf, a flim-flam man, slime really.

Those of us who saw it, tried to warn those who did not.
But most were young, optimistic, hopeful, and eager to give him a chance.
Worst of all, most of them loved the idea of falling in love.
Jasper was professional at getting women to do that; he was pure slime.

Premium Member orchestras don't need conductors

what are they there for?
what's it got to do with anything?

i am confident on this one
throw away your vertigo stick 

they measure my son's height
to get into the opera

they don't measure me
but i tell them they should

as i am at the pinnacle of opera sensitivity 
my friend is between baritone and alto

i'm between the car and the theatre
as i search for the venue on my phone

we are one metre away 
between the peanuts and the legal drinking age 

the performance begins
and i recognise the aria 

i turn to my son and whisper,
"this is from that car advert."

there is no interval 
and i feel tough

i shudder when i think that the earth takes a whole day to rotate
but we flim flam out of the opera house

there are still tickets for Don Giovanni
it apparently ends in hell 

so swallowed up in the life to come, no longer inhabitants of this world 
the following week we see Spongebob the Musical


Premium Member A B C D E F G H

awkward always alone Allie
bragged boastfully to baby Bertie Bill
clearly clarifying club-footed cloven Callie
deliberately deciphering dairy dung in Dickie Dill

easing eager Edgar’s electrifying entry
forever forsaking flim-flam’s frequent flam
greasing gray grannie’s gentle gentry
hardily helping herself to Harry’s hottish ham

KEEP FIVE ALIVE

KEEP FIVE ALIVE

It’s a five pointed star
Not the simplest by far
As thoughts are left ajar 
But for naught except Blahblah
Just that one last hurrah

They call it a pentagram
Sceptical is what I am
With all that flim flam
Rejecting the glitz and glam
You’re not a witch ma’am

Anxiety I try to quell
Nothing ever seems to gel
Please don’t cast a spell
You know that very well
Otherwise, just go to Hell

Premium Member Foolhardy Flim Flam Man

Convivial convict corrected coquettish cop
Deliberately daring her other shoe to drop
Energetically engaging her to listen to him
Frisky foolhardy flim-flam-man with extra flim.

Plus ou moins

Plus ou moins
I have a nasty cold
That doesn't want to go away
I am also all congested
There is a lot of flam
Coming out
From my mouth
I am trying to clear my through
Yes I already had my breakfast
Early in the morning
Raising bran, boiled eggs
And a banana
Now I am going to sleep
All day
At noon I got up
I made myself a hot toddy
Tea, lemon, and honey
And I went back to sleep
I was also sweating like crazy
Yes I am also very tired

Golden opportunity

The consistency of mystery
Drenched in it's simplicity 
Wrought with what would seem to be
To our participants complacency 
For a golden opportunity 
A trick our minds eye think they see
If not thought through quite logically
A flim-flam conjured carefully
Too easy to take willingly
For those grasping at something free
Fruit hanging low on fabled tree
So true it is too good to be
To test human morality
When seeking answers desperately 
In a place that's not quite fair.

Premium Member H R H WIlliam Windsor

A prince of the air.? As well; as of realty, a younger twig to whom
Some proffer fealty.. Has gotten much attention in a
Certain area; thing..While Julians life is upon the scales.! Will some changes ring?? These scales
He owns in part, as he sits on Wales..Incumbent royal' a
People leader.? Advocate of fairness or just w e f pleaser??

Premium Member A Heroes Welcome - For John

Flim Flam 
the hero man
sold his story
and away he ran
From Hanoi to DC
before swamps could be drained
karma would catch him
and rot out his brain
But the damage was done
in the Great Halls of power
as his bombs of war
the whole world did scour
So what is now left
when the hero has faded
same as it was
a nation all jaded
Clamoring to praise
what was clearly a fool
a spoiled near despot
the ultimate tool.

(8/25/2018)

Empty Words

I've listened to a lot of shallow words in my life
 Words of empty meanings
 Words that just Past time 
Words that spark emotions 
And words that mean nothing at all
 I've listened to a lot of talk in my life 
Talks about future events
 Talks about things people want to do
 None of those talks added up
 None of those talks made a difference
 I've listened to a lot of flam in my life
 Flam about where people want to be
 Flam about what their expectations are 
Flam about what they expect of you 
And flame about how they love you
 Empty promises 
Forgotten dreams 
Morage of hope 
Like Water in the desert
 It doesn't last long

Premium Member Whiff Of Foolish Me

My friends have already revealed that I'm in loved with you
That's why I don't know what to do nor to say.
And so am I confounded as to how should I evade this ballyhoo
With no regret when I wake up early in the day.

It seems to me that you are yet unaffected
By the reverberations whispering in your ears?...
But if you'll only knock the portal of my heart unwavered
You'll discover that my heart for you wait and sears.

Others say... I am not perfect for you.
Others say... I am not the man you're looking for.
They may be right for making such comments like these
Comments, however, are not always impeccable and therefore, subject to error.

I may be a fool to love someone who cares not for me.
I may be a fool to choose someone who's not probably meant for me.
God knows how much I love you why don't you look back and see?
For the shadow of a man with sincerity and urgent plea!...

I wish to end this flim-flam jive 
Because I don't think the concerned is blind
Why don't you show me the feelings that you hide 
And make thine eyes sparkle again with pride!

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