The first heart attack was quite mild:
he put it down to indigestion
at first, but the pain persisted.
Some pills and lectures on lifestyle changes
followed the stay in hospital.
Yes, he'd try to stop smoking, he said,
and to cut out the fatty foods.
But the craving for cigarettes
was too strong and he secretly smoked,
while assuring me that he'd quit!
The next heart attack was much worse;
he really did try after that -
a fat-free diet was no fun
and nicotine patches were no help...
but he stuck to it for a while
(I think it was a week, maybe two).
Then I smelt the smoke on his clothes,
saw him wolfing down bacon sandwiches,
slyly like a naughty schoolboy.
By then I pretended I didn't know -
my nagging was killing him, he said.
The third heart attack finished him.
I'm heartbroken that his heart was broken...
Compare my motorbike and air-fryer
Because at times they both can be quite cold.
So, when they are their buttons I will push
To turn them on, my touch must not withhold.
I'll warm them up until their engines roar,
And they will then be ready to excite.
Both giving me exactly what I want
A long hard ride, then a fat free delight.
I can't believe how similar they are
My motor bike and air- fryer I love.
Both meet my needs that I can't do without
For this I am so sure, and have no doubt.
They filled me full of milk so white
Semi-skinned,fat free and light
The supermarket's, a place real cool
Full cream,my cousin, made folks drool
In and out of the fridge each day
Then,crushed in a recycle box,I lay
To the waste tip that week I went
Off to the plastic factory I soon was sent
Instead of rotting in brown earth
In a green revolution,I have rebirth
They filled me full of milk so white.....
Think I need a cowboy
With some fat free ranch
Think I’d like to see him
Swinging from a branch
Reaching out towards me
To get all my attention
Think I need a cowboy
Thought I would just mention
Think I need a cowboy
Not a yellow belly
To yarn the hours away
He betta not be smelly
Nor he be a bad egg
With skin so cold or clammy
Really need a cowboy
To be a little lammy
I do not want an odd stick
Nor a ten-cent-man
A namby-pamby is not handy
Doesn’t know the plan
To scoop me up
To make me his with lots of many kisses
I wanna be a cowgirl and a cowboys' mrs.
(Sung To The Song "I Will Always Love You" By Whitney Houston...From the film..The Bodyguard)...(1992)
If you do stay
You'll be tempting me to your way
In the bin you now go
I can't risk having you here everyday
Coz I will want to eat you
I will want to taste you
You
My biscuit you
Mmmmmm
Loaded with calories
And the fat thighs given to me
So goodbye
I won't cry
Plus my weight plays havoc with my knees
Coz I will want to bite you
I will want to nibble you
You
You could stay if fat free
And I lost all the weight you gave to me
And hadn't given me chin number three
I favoured you, but now set myself free
And I will always love you
Your soft chocolate goo
Your brown crumbly crumb base
Your sweet biscuit round face
Your taste that I still crave
Each small crumb I would not waste
My
Biscuit, I miss you
I'll always
I'll always want you.
Change The Record Poetry Contest
Sponsor : Natasha L Scragg
Written 15.10.21
PERSONIFICATION PAINTING
Most of the day,
Alone on this wall we stay;
When the doors open wide
Shy colleagues ,behind curtains hide;
On view for all for free see
Our lives, on show for all to see;
On the seat ,over there,they sit
Often bored,only their kids will admit;
Silence is the rule in our home,
Our photos and bios well catalogued;
Up close into my face they peer
Often my expression can bring a tear;
Yes,admiration we do adore,
Silent hedonism,can be a bore;
At night with the alarm turned on
Some of us burst into song;
We long for freedom,to be alone,
In a family,not on our own
and the second
They filled me full of milk so white
Semi-skinned,fat free and light
The supermarket's, a place real cool
Full cream,my cousin, made folks drool
In and out of the fridge each day
Then,crushed in a recycle box,I lay
To the waste tip that week I went
Off to the plastic factory I soon was sent
Instead of rotting in brown earth
In a green revolution,I have rebirth
They filled me full of milk so white........
Easter Egg's
Fat Free
For 1 Day only
1st April
Only joking
April Fool
And when exactly ?
Did Bunny's
Start Laying Egg's ?
Asked
Father Christmas
They filled me full of milk so white
Semi-skinned,fat free and light
The supermarket's, a place real cool
Full cream,my cousin, made folks drool
In and out of the fridge each day
Then,crushed in a recycle box,I lay
To the waste tip that week I went
Off to the plastic factory I soon was sent
Instead of rotting in brown earth
In a green revolution,I have rebirth
They filled me full of milk so white........
blueberries are not an option
oversize strawberries, maybe.
16 pack
of pop-tarts
the workers look worried
or weary
worn down by the woman who taps on her wrist-watch
with her forefinger
her painted mask forms a frown
her eyebrows are more aggressive
flashing lights
spilled onto the glossy floor tiles
the shelves are soaked in strange
i am invisible
avoiding intentional eye-contact
content to be
a casual observer
unnoticed by an acquaintance
out of context
unaccustomed to our bodies without barriers
beside the cereal boxes i wonder
if i look different behind bullet-proof glass
fat-free or chocolate 2%
there is no middle-ground
but i prefer the color blue to brown
so the choice is made easier
by arbitrary affections
this is where college students
collect the contents of their refrigerators
this is where bananas
are available after midnight
on a thursday
or is it friday?
all i can say is that it doesn’t matter much
in this fluorescent fantasy land
everything is affordable
especially time
because wages are waning
and the hunger will never cease.
DISGUSTING COMMERCIAL
As one gets older things begin to sag
Belly hangs over, energy lags
Better take thought for your health old man
Heed this add, start our diet plan
Oh, there’s fat-free, sugar-free, freedom from gas
Beach ball bloating a thing of the past
Darlene B,, bikini beauty, she lost fifty
From obese to trim now aint that nifty
I tell ya, gordo, though you may resist
Fifty off that paunch will never be missed
If going cold turkey has failed in the past
Cash on the line will save you at last
Our plan now comes with money back guarantee
So what if you pig out – go on a spree
Nothing’s lost but your self esteem
After the orgy macho bod only a dream?
No! Shovel in the junk food one last time
Then start life over, call up Trim Line
Dave Austin
What's for dinner?
Poor people
With no fat on their bones
you can eat them
and eat them.
They're practically fat free
I heard they can make you sick.
Not if you feed them cheese.
One block of cheese,
and they make a fine commodity.
You sure,
my uncle says ya hafta
dip em first in powdered milk.
Na, as long as ya feed em cheese
yer good.
Okay, gimmee three.
If It Tastes Good, Spit It Out
By Elton Camp
Some diets for weight control
Fat-free, sugar-free do extol
Those who wouldn’t be fat
May have to eat a lot of that
Bran cereal that tastes like hay
And there’s even more to say
A muffin that is fat-free
Tastes very bad to me
With a salad I’m not thrilled
With E. coli, it may be filled
From now on, you must lack
A luscious, juicy Big Mac
French fries you eat no more
Their fat and sodium to abhor
Never think you can try
A slice of chocolate pie
Also quite hard to take
No more red velvet cake
The diet rule to recall
If good, don’t eat at all
My dog likes the decorations from the Christmas tree,
He can eat them without any guilt because they are fat free.
He knows which stocking belongs to him and he checks it every day,
He checks it by chewing it up, it’s a game he likes to play.
Sometimes in the candy dish I will find a suspect slobber mark,
I know that he’s been sampling both the milk chocolates and the dark.
He ate a whole roll of wrapping paper the kind with shinny foil,
Then for dessert he had a bow and some curly ribbon from the coil.
He helps us to remember the good times when Christmas time has gone,
When the snow melts in the spring and we find spangles on the lawn.
Parmesan-crusted grouper
A low country broil
Topped with lemon and lime sauce
A hint of garlic
Brushed with olive oil
Cheese to please
Yum!
*Tasted this at a restaurant and now have mastered the recipe. Awesome fat-free
way to prepare grouper. Has to be broiled near the bottom of the oven or it will
burn before cooking. Entry for Sara’s "Low Country Boil" contest.
Plain White Bread
There is something said for plain white bread,
It’s the wheat and oats I really dread.
And real sugar, not that blue or pink,
Nothing artificial, I tend to think.
Give me milk, not two percent or skim,
In real fat, my cereal should swim.
No fat-free cookies, no diet cakes,
No low-cal cream in my chocolate shakes.
Don’t give me seedless watermelon, or green cantaloupe,
Messing with nature gets on my goat.
No French vanilla coffee, no powder cream,
Those flavored beans make me scream.
Don’t replace pork for steak, salad for potato,
I want more on my sandwich than lettuce and tomato.
Don’t give me jello for dessert, water for pop,
All this diet stuff must simply just stop.
What ever happened to the good ol’ days?
When unneeded calories melted away.
Long before fillers, and real meat hotdogs,
When a real BBQ was roasting a hog.
Please take me back to those thinner days,
When I looked good in a t-shirt and rays.
Back to the time when I didn’t watch what I ate,
Servings were large, and second helpings were great.
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