Somewhere, deep down, I've lost myself in waters without a name,
Not knowing how to swim anymore in waves of silence untame.
Breath carries me, though I no longer wish it within,
A shadow of a forgotten dream, flowing in memory's spin.
Come, pull me out from these endless dark depths tight,
You are the only one who stays, even when you're out of sight.
It's not selfishness, but a disintegration that repeats inside,
More helpless with each day that passes in silence wide.
If not for a lifetime, then at least for a few fleeting moments,
Pull me from these depths, show me how to float without torments.
Give meaning to this breath, just once, before I fade away,
Teach me to breathe in the light, to feel life again in play.
A dance of shadows beneath a starless sky's dome,
Where time dissolves in whispers that roam,
Here, where thoughts, like lost birds in flight,
Desperately seek the horizon of a new morning's light.
Deep down I knew just like me you are only human too.
I'm grateful for you still wanting me as someone you woo.
Deep down you knew it too, that maybe I am meant to be with you.
You didnt look at me
The way i looked at you
I knew you didn't love me
The way I loved you
You said you loved me, you lied
They warned me
I loved you anyways
Guess It doesnt matter now
And lifted was when the tombstone,
A Christian was, nor a Muslim,
Just human being— her or him—
A skeleton bare to the bone.
Perhaps why most tombstones bear name,
All are same when it comes to soul,
And as equal would go as came,
In death things are same-- seamless whole.
_______________________________
Musings |02.02.2018 | self/soul, free verse
From the day when young
I thought I could do no wrong.
Was contented lived my life.
Never knowing the meaning
of strife.
As I got older saw things
with new eyes.That is when
I realized.
I had itchy feet never staying long
always looking for that some one.
I was a traveler a free spirit
looking for the greener grass
hoping it would last.
What I found was barren earth
my curiosity leading me on
disappointed in that some one.
Looking new to sow it was
she I got to know.
A breathtaking view
some one new.
Time was short
we did our best
deep down knowing
it could not last.
As the ground disappeared
from view.
Replaced by clouds
I was left thinking
secretly wishing
I could stay too.
Organisms sprout in petri dishes
Articulation of fathomless wishes
Theres a thin edge; to every wedge.'
we’re all damaged goods
to some extent
our stories are unique
yet share so much in common
there’s a hurt little child
somewhere deep down
forever craving to be consoled
forever longing for love
AP: 1st place 2021
DEEP DOWN IN YOUR SOUL YOU REMEMBER A SOUND SO PURE AND SO
LOVING IT SAYS TO YOU , "YOU ARE WORTHY AND YOU KNOW WHO I AM"
YOU FEEL THE SUN ON YOUR BACK AND THE WARMTH SAYS TO YOU,
"SHAKE OFF THE COLD OF WINTER" " ENTER INTO THIS HEATED POOL
OF PEACE.(BREATHE )
I HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU A JOYFUL BANQUET OF LOVE AND PEACE "
COME TO THE TABLE THAT IS BATHED IN LIGHT AND MEET THE ONE
WHO KNOWS YOU AND WELCOMES YOU, WITH UNCONDITIONAL
LOVE. SINK DEEP INTO YOUR MEMORY AND RETURN TO THE CHILD IN
YOU. THE ONE THAT WAS INNOCENT AND FULL OF HOPE . (BREATHE)
THE CHILD WHO BELIEVED WITH COMPLETE TRUST, THE CHILD WITH
PURITY OF HEART AND BEAUTY. STAND FIRM ON THE GROUND AND
FEEL THE POWER OF FAITH IN YOUR HEART. AS IT BEATS INSIDE YOUR
CHEST, WANTING TO LIVE FREELY IN COMMUNION WITH ALL. (BREATHE)
DEEP DOWN IN YOUR SOUL YOU REMEMBER A SOUND SO PURE AND SO
LOVING IT SAYS TO YOU,
"YOU ARE TRULY WORTHY , YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE "
NAMASTE
I draw my smiles with Sharpie
And avoid hand sanitizer.
Its bitter taste-
Cleansing-
Healing-
Burns the facade I’ve built.
I’ve painted my confidence
Across the boarded windows of my body.
I wear my sensuality
Like the makeup smeared on my cheeks:
As armor.
The sun’s shadow masks my flaws
But as you turn out the lights
You find them all again
With the sweep of your fingertips.
12/6/17
Deep down, so not spoken, is my love for him.
It comes over in waves that shock me, most truly.
Deep down, like a river or ocean, it nestles,
and gives me false peace at the start of the day.
Deep down, where I want it, for better to hide it.
Married men don't want you to chase after them!
Deep down I feel it in time with my heartbeat.
Deep down is the yearning at the end of the day.
At the start of the night, when moon is bright shining,
I think of him going to bed, just like me.
Deep down, I just know it, he longs to caress me,
but, deep down, he knows that it never can be.
------------------------------------------------------------
3/25/2017
Contest - Opposite Gender Love Expression
Sponsor - Frank Herrera
1st place win
DEEP DOWN MY THROAT
Judging by what man see
yes, intertwined memories slumber
and gorgeous silver linings a feel
deep down the throat it stagger
Universally my man kills
and subjugates my loosened freedom
then rounds of blubbering tokens wills
in severe painful skin of a walking warm
Bringing pot bellied sacks
that speaks the moment they are lashed
convincing millions of scurvy scars
then performing serious bids abolished
I will spare my gratitude
to my mother nature
once I find a conviction beyond altitude
but my man shall have fed enough on my pasture
Sometimes
You might say things
That you think are funny
Like “Screw you”
Or “Go to hell”
Or “kiss up”
But you don’t realize they hurt me
Deep down inside
You think its funny
But it’s not
Because you don’t know
That there is a lot
Going on in my life
That you don’t see on the surface
That kill me inside
And your words
Only hurt me more
Deep down inside me
I’ve been hurting all this time
When I begin to believe in you
To me it feels like a crime
No matter how hard you try,
Everything you say to me
Feels just like a lie
Of what once was a family
I’m the last of the nest
Even though my name is for a queen,
I’m always second best
You stayed for her,
But not for me?
Because you weren’t so sure
So you had to flee
You ask, “What’s wrong?”
“Because you don’t know...
One thing is, you’ve missed all my birthdays
Almost five years in a row”
You say you know me
That I’m mini you
“Sorry, was your little girl,
The one you knew”
Even though to me you’re a who,
All I can say is “I love you”.
When I go deep down
to find a cause behind
I find nothing but a Seeker
and a causeless causer
This earth is round
with which are so bound
Everything revolves around
like the circles of the smoker
Roaming around the world
being a globe trotter
Everybody seems to be a part of
same story of the same writer
Running to be a better
climbing the success ladder
But valley on the sides
becomes deeper and deeper
Tried being a friend
a healer and a lover
But the distance always became
more longer and longer
There was no start
and there will not be any end
The show will always be on
with the smiling Joker
Nobody will be escaped
either king or a beggar
All will float in peace
sooner or a later
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