potatoes yes, tomatoes no
November they are not good-to-go
Jello, not anymore
gourmet popcorn I show the door
I like things that are stuffed and puffed
sweetened with sugar, the icing is never enough
gravy? Oh yes, biscuits and cheese sauce too
steak and eggs? You cannot lose!
beef and noodles, my go-to-dish
chicken? only the breast, and no danged fish
unless it is fried shrimp, I love it with marmalade sauce
homemade cake and coconut, yes, by gosh!
She wears unusual clothes, I think she is Bohemian
A witch from where? We wondered, a former nun?
She wore patchwork skirts, and tinted her broom.
Putting sparkles of light in the evening gloom.
Who is this witch? What is she about?
The cats are prancing, she’s brought some doubt.
Not one of us, we dress in black and gray.
Her loud bright colors are too danged gay.
An alligator's plans were laid.
He unpacked his bags in the Everglades.
He would give his life another shot,
but he found it was just too danged hot,
as a sunbeam then, a truth relayed,
"One hundred degrees in the shade".
He has a tendency to listen to no one
A proclivity to overreact, he is not fun
His ideas lean toward the conservation realm
Has propensity to look danged stubborn on film
He has a tendency to listen to no one
A proclivity to overreact, he is not fun
His ideas lean toward the conservation realm
Has propensity to look danged stubborn on film
Grumpy Gray was not afraid of judgement day
He groused and griped and sullenly made his way
He had been a church goer, had missed no Sunday
What have you done for others? Peter asked Mr Gray
I gave money to the church, they bought cushions for the pew.
That’s what the church did; I am asking, what did you do?
He made our long walk here dreary, somber, angry and blue.
Suggested a small child who was wise at the age of two.
Grumpy Gray had to sit in purgatory for a long time said Lu.
He had to learn a lesson about being kind to people too.
He had no idea his job on earth was to not be so danged blue.
When will he finally get released? Asked his cousin Sibbly Sue.
I am leaving work today at one.
To meet granddaughter and have some fun.
We will shop and eat and act so danged young!
I sing from a rooftop using my biggest lung.
Molly graduates on Saturday.
Starting a new life to live her very own way.
This may be her grandma’s last chance
To frolic, laugh, listen, whistle, play and dance.
When Simple Simon met the pieman going to the fair,
He thought the guy an easy mark he could con out of his wares.
But the pieman glared at him and hissed,
"Bub, I ain't no danged pie-lanthropist!
Admit I must, you've got some crust,
But show me dough and then my wares I'll share."
This is the story of the frog, the bee, the spider and the mouse
They decided to become roommates and purchase a small house.
First the bee got kicked out, and he began to grouse
They are unfair to bees, especially that danged mouse!
The next one out the door and off the lease was the mouse of course.
He called up his cousin and said “the frog was the source!
Frogs always have it out for me, he told his cousin.
I wish I could stomp on them by the dozen.”
The last one to go was the spider, kicked out by the frog.
He found a marvelous new place inside a log.
He hid inside it for days because of a big black dog.
Now the house is inhabited by only one selfish frog.
My husband forced me to interview his new secretary.
Because I can type?
I was furiously opposed.
Be professional he said, which is not in my vocabulary.
So here she was, sitting across from me.
I leaned back in my husband’s oversized office chair.
BAM!
My legs were in the air, and my dress was around my waist.
Panties clearly showing.
I crawled off of the danged chair.
Felt my hot face.
Looked at the shocked applicant.
“You are hired,” I said.
No idea that she could only type seven words a minute.
Did not care.
Neither of us laughed.
Until we began working together.
And got to know each other.
Then we could not stop laughing.
Grandpa’s barn held many secrets
We were cautioned to never open the boxes out there
We figured there were skulls and bodies in them.
When we were six we opened some
Found report cards but did not understand the A’s and B’s.
We were graded with S’s and G’s at the time.
Took them to Grandpa who explained them this way.
A for awful, B for Bad, C for Correct, D for danged Good and F for fine.
Grandma had been an awful student!
We have fed, wooed, wined and dined a stray dog for two days.
My husband Joe, who is a sucker for dogs, named him Brownie.
This stray, Brownie loved our dog Buddy and Buddy loved him.
Buddy kept inviting him into the house by way of doggy door.
Social media helped us help Brownie find his owner yesterday.
He was a pit bull, and his name is Blue. I was scared of him.
His owners collected him at ten o’clock last night.
Another good neighbor came down and corralled him for me.
Buddy spent all day today looking for his friend.
I finally told Buddy that Brownie had found his Mommy.
I think he understood because he settled down after that.
Blue had broken his chain during those danged fireworks.
Dotcom was not in the mood for company to come in
He was trying to balance the books with paper and pen
Here is a pencil his owner said; her name was Sue.
She could not balance her checkbook at forty-two.
Dotcom was not amused, he wanted to eat his kibble.
He thought he had the mistake figured, but it was not a nibble.
He was tired of doing all of this work in this ridiculous house.
Are you kidding? Said the cat. I have to collect every danged mouse.
He and the cat commiserated a bit, both feeling put out.
He finally found the error and gave a bark and a shout!
The cat dropped the danged mouse and began to pout.
It is a zoo in this household, in case you have any doubt.
I could not stop playing four casino Quartermania machines in Vegas.
Totally exasperated with me was my sixteen-year-old daughter, Mavis.
At two a.m. I was dancing between them singing a song I made up.
When others approached, I gave a stink eye and shook my coin cup.
Mom, I am leaving! She finally said at a quarter until three.
That was fine, okay, I threw her my car keys. Quite all right by me.
I was up in the win zone; I had made a hundred dollars or more.
I was down to one quarter by ten minutes to four.
I looked at that danged quarter, debating about what to do.
I had not had wheels to return home since about three twenty-two.
Decided on the phone call, but I was reluctant. I called husband Cleo.
I used a most charming voice, "Honey, want to have breakfast at Rio?”
I could not stop playing four casino Quartermania machines in Vegas.
Totally exasperated with me was my sixteen-year-old daughter, Mavis.
At two a.m. I was dancing between them singing a song I made up.
If anyone approached I gave them the stink eye and shook my coin cup.
Mom, I am leaving! She finally said at a quarter until three.
That was fine, okay, I threw her the keys. Quite all right by me.
I was up in the win zone, I had made a hundred dollars or more.
I was down to one quarter by ten minutes to four.
I looked at that danged quarter, debating about what to do.
I had not had wheels to return home since about three twenty-two.
I finally decided on the phone call, but I was reluctant. I called husband Cleo.
I asked in my sweetest, most charming voice, “Want to have breakfast at the Rio?”
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