Long Danged Poems
Long Danged Poems. Below are the most popular long Danged by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Danged poems by poem length and keyword.
Cap'n & the Wench *part the third*
Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll have me a Gin!"
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench " Go right ahead Me Dear~
Fer now I'll surely Win!"
With an Evil Grin & a Twinkle in his Eye~
So's the Wench did notice & then By & By~
& did say to the Cap'n "Be mindin' Yer P's & Q's!"
"Fer Me's the Wench what Decides that which Ye Do!"
"Yer no Grinnin'Porpoise & that there's no Danged Flipper!"
"Har!" says the Cap'n ~ "I am though the Skipper!"
The Wench ran B'low to the Galley fer Sure!
The Cap'n did follow yet His Timin' was Poor!
She'd already laid 'er hands on that Bottle O'Gin~
So Mightily Fast She did give the Skipper a Spin!
Once for a Second this Pyrate did Think~
That Fer Sure He was Now on the Very Brink!
But Nay was the Word passed Along from the Deck~
Fer the Wench had decided~ "Aaaarrrrggghhhh! What the Heck!"
She sat Calmly at the Helm givin' the Great Wheel a Turn~
Fer surely She was decidin' this Ol'SeaWolf to Spurn!
When Lo & Behold the Cap'n Sauntered to the Cockpit~
And 'twas Plain to see he was a'Chompin at the Bit!
Grabs the Wench He does with Muscle & Sinew~
"I'd rather Lil'Wench Ye Stuck to the Brew!
Fer Yer Manner is Bold and Wild without Reason~
And 'tis a Great Job O'Work fer Ye to be a'Pleasin!"
Now the Wench did Ponder a Moment or Two~
Whilst the Sky sent Forth a Bolt from the Blue~
She'd wondered what it was had Caused her to Forgit~
That which She'd a'wanted fer a Tiny lil' Bit!
Up Jumped She & Bolted off to the Deck!
Just as the Cap'n was givin' her a Peck!
Now this was all 'twas needed to Bring to Mind~
That which this Wench sorely needed to Find!
Now in Ports where all Pyrates finally to a Dock come a'Side~
Ne'er does a Man or Woman really Know how was that Wild Ride~
Now the Bows & the Belly of the Ship were Finally Quiet~
The Wench had gone Below with Her Bellyachin' Pyrate!
The Moon did Rise with Splendor that very Night~
Throughout the Great Ship 'twas the Only Light!
For the Cap'n & his Wench had Decided to Tease~
And this Was the Way They each Other did Please!
The Great Ship is Seen Oft enough Sailin' Agin on the Seas....
With Always enough Gin with which that Hardy Wench to Please!
SeaWolf
We big, tough, well-thinking male bearberries blew and we snarled and we spouted and we blew.
But those danged dandelions obstinately kept their tops on, no matter how much we did fuss.
Come on fellas, I said to my fellow bearberries. Here is just what we’ll do…
“I’m not taking them!” I screamed at B.B.2, our leader, a passive little cuss.
I was talking about those damned tiger lilies, our groupies.
I am so sorry Tiger Lilies, he told them. It’s just us bear berries today. He shot an apologetic look to T.L. 1 and T.L. 402.
I am sick and tired of my whole life being video- recorded by those selfie-taking nut-buckets, I told him, indignant, and with an angry face.
They will clean your house, wash your floors, pay your bills, wax your car, and do your laundry, said B.B. 2.
I don’t care if my house implodes on its dirtiness, I retorted. Just keep them in their place.
I was talking about those damned tiger lilies, our groupies.
Tiger Lily 58 sneaked back into the Bearberry Lodge, where Tiger Lilies are never supposed to be.
We did not see her at first as she used her invisibility tablet to reach us; I felt her heat on the back of my neck, before I saw her.
She began to give me a really nice, warm, massage and sweet backrub which was the best I had had times three.
Wow! What is that? I asked myself, as I began getting tingly and happy all over, and down under.
I guess I was talking about these wonderful tiger lilies, our allies.
My dad had told me a long time ago that the best pairings in the meadow was always a BB and a T.L.
Who are you? I whispered to Tiger Q. Lily 58. I am your soul mate, she responded, can you please meet me at 2?
Where? I wondered, and she immediately conveyed that she would be at northern rise of Bunny P. Hill.
I will be there with my matching rings, I told her. Are you ready? Yes, she agreed. No one else will do.
I am now hitched to a wonderful tiger lily, and all my mean thoughts
toward T.L.'s seem pretty damned silly.
(And I don’t care whether or not the dandelions ever lose their
tops. They are of no use to me now.)
Dated: May 12,2018
I look in the mirror and see the years gone
I can look beyond the glass out the window
To the yards of my childhood
I can smell the flowers and feel the grass ‘neath my feet.
I can hear the music blasting on the radio
Mama callin’ me for supper.
I yearn to go back to that danged town
I fought to get away and never look back,
I never wanted to live there again.
I guess there’s a piece of me
There in that little town.
The town is small and so are the events
You’re everyone’s business
You can get a break and can’t get away
You don’t even have a say
You go to and from and people protest
And those same people will still put you to the test
I yearn to go back to that danged town
I fought to get away and never look back,
I never wanted to live there again.
I guess there’s a piece of me
There in that little town.
I made it to the big town K.C,
Got myself a husband and a son and a place to live
Settled in and made a life, got a career
I swear I’ll never return to my best friend
Comfortable where I stand,
Happy where I am
I yearn to go back to that danged town
I fought to get away and never look back,
I never wanted to live there again.
I guess there’s a piece of me
There in that little town.
Well times are hard,
And people are ruthless in this cut throat time
Jobs are scarce and bills run high
You never know what you’ll hear at night
The people are small in this big town
Yeah people are small in this big town
I yearn to go back to that danged town
I fought to get away and never look back,
I never wanted to live there again.
I guess there’s a piece of me
There in that little town.
I guess the town is small
Just good ol’ boys and girls havin’ fun
Small place, small town, small world
People may talk and people may watch
But the biggest thing in that small town
Are the people after all.
I yearn to go back to that danged town
I fought to get away and never look back,
I never wanted to live there again.
I guess there’s a piece of me
There in that little town.
-Heather Birdwell 9/22/2009
Cap'n & the Wench *part the fourth*
Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll 'ave me some White Lightnin' "
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
Fer y've ne'er been quite so Frightnin' "
With an Evil Grin & a Twinkle in his Eye~
So's the Wench did notice & then By & By~
& did say to the Cap'n "Be mindin' Yer P's & Q's!"
"Fer Me's the Wench what Decides that which Ye Do!"
"Yer no Grinnin'Porpoise & that there's no Danged Flipper!"
"Har!" says the Cap'n ~ "I am though the Skipper!"
The Wench danced along the Bowsprit of the Great Vessel that Night~
Whilst Mighty SeaWolf stormed along the Decks with all of his Might~
Sails which had lay flat now filled Fastly with Breeze~
Now came that night most Confused sort of Seas~
The Great ship did lay over as Far as she'd Go~
And 'twas the Wench who no longer Ran to & Fro~
Now did those geat waves Break o'er the Ship
Not even the the Great SeaWolf could give 'em the Slip~
Upon the Great Ship and all Her Captain & Crew~
Had befallen the luck Uncommon to but a Few~
For the Great Ship No longer Sailed O'er the Oceans~
And the Mighty SeaWolf drifted toward other Notions~
Says the Wench to the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll rap ya up side o'yer Head!"
So says the Cap'n to the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear!~
Fer 'twas you brung young Mimi to Bed!"
With an Evil Grin & a Twinkle in his Eye~
So's the Wench did notice & then By & By~
& did say to the Cap'n "Be mindin' Yer P's & Q's!"
"Fer Me's the Wench what Decides that which Ye Do!"
"Yer no Grinnin'Porpoise & that there's no Danged Flipper!"
"Har!" says the Cap'n ~ "I am No Longer the Skipper!"
The Great Ship is Never Seen Sailin' Agin on the Seas....
Spirits were Never that with which this Hardy Wench to Please!
SeaWolf
Cap'n & the Wench *part the second*
Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Tequila!"
So says the Cap'n to the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
I'll be hard a'lee ta feel Ya!"
With an Evil Grin & a Twinkle in his Eye~
So's the Wench did notice & then By & By~
& did say to the Cap'n "Be mindin' Yer P's & Q's!"
"Fer Me's the Wench what Decides that which Ye Do!"
"Yer no Grinnin'Porpoise & that there's no Danged Flipper!"
"Har!" says the Cap'n ~ "I am though the Skipper!"
The Wench ran afo'rd from foc'sl to the Sprit~
The Cap'n knew this'n Wouldn't Swoon & Quit~
Up & Down all Headstays~Chasin' Each Other Fast~
'Til all Sharks in the Channels were Quite Aft Aghast~
The Mighty North Wind did so Howl that Wild Stormy Night....
The Great Ship did Roll with Nary a Wave in Sight....
When then there a'sudden was a Tremendous Bolt from Darkened Blue....
"Har!" Says the Wench " ~ 'Twas Me... I Figgered Ye Knew!"
Now & Then that Cap'n was so rightfully a'Top~
Yet Lil'Wench was the One Who simply wouldn't Stop!~
She Screamed from the MastHead & Hollered from the Riggin'~
Har! Mighty Cap'n let's keep on just a'Friggin'!
The Ol' Cap'n soon Found Hisself Danglin' from the Mizzen~
Only that which Held 'im Fast had Now completely Risen!
Slidin' down the Backstay was the Only Proper Choice~
Fer the Wench's Little Thighs were Stronger than her Voice!
Now in Ports where all Pyrates finally to a Dock come a'Side~
Ne'er does a Man or Woman really Know how was that Wild Ride~
Now the Bows & the Belly of the Ship were Finally Quiet~
The Wench had gone Below with Her Bellyachin' Pyrate!
The Great Ship is Seen Oft enough Sailin' Agin on the Seas....
With Always enough Tequila with which that Hardy Wench to Please!
SeaWolf
Alone in the dungeon, I am furious with the them’s, the they’s, the experts, the teacher, my cousin, the snitch, my classmates, and especially my parents for they are the ones who ruined things for me.
If they had left me alone, not tormented me, not called me, not texted me, not lured me into talking back to my parents, if they had simply let me be, I would be outside playing second base.
I would have grown up to be fantastic, terrific, stunningly successful, powerfully respected, but all hope for that kind of life is gone now. And so is the sun, which means I have been in this dungeon for at least two hours without my tablet, or my computer, or my I-pad or TV set or anything fun to do.
But no. They could not leave me alone. They had to bug me. Learn your math facts, eat your fruit, do not hang from the top of the slide and kick your feet over your cousin’s head. So here I sit, grounded, and mad, and disappointed. When was the last time I cried? I feel the tears come, and I hate them all a bit more. All of those snitches, especially that teacher snitch. I can hear my friend John outside, yelling bye to my other friends. I struggle to hear the other’s voices, but they are not heard. I bet they got stupid Roger to play second base, and that really makes me mad.
I am so danged angry at my parents and that snitch teacher, and my snitch cousin, who should have backed me up, but did not, and everybody else who put me here in this dungeon. I am furious. FURIOUS! I lie on my bunk and toss my baseball up toward the ceiling, catch it, toss it again. It does not help. I am still mad as all get out with no inkling whatsoever that I am the only one who holds the key to unlocking the dungeon door.
Well, I read in the paper today that Senator Feinstein has again gone berserk!
With the plethora of problems we have, she wants to give chickens a perk!
Never mind that millions of souls are out of work and on food stamps rely!
She opts to pursue the plight of chickens ignoring the needs of we small "fry!"
Seems she deems chickens' cages far too small for them to flap their wings!
The Constitution provides for freedom of speech and religion among other things,
But danged if I was aware that chickens had any such Constitutional rights!
This is taking our precious freedoms to unexplored and dangerous heights!
Perhaps "Maam" Feinstein is wooing votes from chicken pressure groups,
Crying "foul" for the right to improve living conditions in their cozy coops!
Her legislation increases fowls' living area to 144 square inches of space!
She deems the way egg-laying hens now exist is an utter disgrace!
Let me hasten to say that for all of God's creatures I have great compassion,
But the nation is headed for Hades! Must the quandary of hens be our passion?
Her statute requires eggs to be labeled so we'll know how hens were raised.
And the size of henhouses must be increased! La-de-da and the Lord be praised!
Senator, may I suggest that you find something more productive to do,
Such as protecting our borders and providing for the hungry and homeless too!
I don't recall that chickens can vote! (Perhaps that is open for future debates!)
Yours is a "half-cracked" plan being dished out on our overly-saturated plates!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws - that’s for sure - and sometimes run amuck
But the final straw that I can’t take: Ya’ sold my pickup truck
Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far
Verse 2:
I didn’t care when ya’ bought that stuff on TV’s QVC
Or ‘cause ya’ always thought of me as your private Money Tree
Or catalog-orderin’ ever’thing from within ol’ Sears Roebuck
But I’ll be danged if I’ll sit still since ya’ sold my pickup truck!
Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far
Verse 3:
So I went and saw a gypsy gal, and a curse on you imposed
To put sand in your chewin' gum and runners in your panty hose
And all your clothes and accessories to never, ever match
And chiggers in your bed sheets - so you’ll always have to scratch!
Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far
Verse 4:
I seen ya’ last Saturday night at Bubba’s Bar and Grill
The image of you in stripes and checks remains within me still
And them red chigger welts upon your nose and face
Tells me that the gypsy curse is workin’ ever’ place!
Chorus:
You can burn the house, shoot my dog and stomp my ol’ guitar
But when you sold my pickup truck, well, Honey, ya’ went too far
Let's see..which one do I write about; we got ten.
The four in the house can cause quite a stir,
and every one is worthy of paper and pen,
But the last shall come first so I'll talk about her.
That little black fur coated thing was two months when we found her,
With four other siblings thrown from a car and left to flounder,
She was one of five kittens huddled together on the road side,
When my bride rode up on her horse, they didn't even try to hide.
Just meowed "we're hungry and scared. What took you so long?"
This little one got me because it was just so danged wrong!
She worked her way over to me dragging a hind leg and missing an eye!
Some folks can be so damned mean it makes you want to cry.
Gail rode back to the house to get them a cage,
and our animal loving neighbors came over in a rage.
They took two of them to add to their fifteen.
That left us with two scrappers and this little queen.
We called the humane society and as usual, they were filled,
so we had to keep them; we didn't want 'em killed.
That little furry one eyed gimp's trying hard to win my heart,
But of course I won't let her; didn't like her from the start.
It's been a couple months now; she's much stronger and bolder,
She probably thinks I'll come to like her just because,
when I walk to the barn, I let her ride on my shoulder..
She'll never get me to like her,.. that furry little mink,..
but... if it ever did...I think I'd name her... "Wink".
ATLANTIS RISES
After 7000 years old Atlantis alluva sudden come up yesterday
Popped up – skinny end first – like a cork
No time ta think o’ displaced water tidal waves all that stuff
Shot up not a periscope o’ warnin’ ner nothin’
Saucer strip in plain sight
Climbed so many miles in the sky a drippin’ like mad
And belly-flopped right where they said it useta be
Scared hell outa 10,000 boy scouts at Disney World
Gotta be one o’ tha best danged things ever happened to the east
coast what with the shows all movin’ ta Californee.
OLD ATLANTIS
THERE SHE FLOATS
THERE SHE BE BOY
THAR SHE BLOWS!
They dispatched a team o’ guys from Wood’s Hole right away
Claimed her right away fer the old U S of A
That Plato he weren’t no dumbbell
He knew
Oughta eerect a statchew right on Poseidon’s front lawn in front o’
the Grand Canal.
I didn’t see all this ya know
Onlyest seen what’s in the mornin’ paper
Front page pitchers o’ them muddy mountains and a tanker use ta
be sittin’ on the ocean floor.
Well golldang! They’re gonna put up a big mewseeum so’s as
folks kin git a good look so’s they kin touch all that crust
stuff.
What with the ice caps a meltin who knows folks may be
movin back to old Atlantis
Wouldn’t ya know it now folks is a talkin’ bout a place called
Mu
I tell ya…………………………………..