Long Danged Poems

A bunch of paparazzi came into town, with new toys, and an added crew.
Yes, we were now to meet the technological ages, latest break through!
We were suddenly swarmed by drones, that they very aggressively flew!
Nowhere...

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Cap'n & the Wench  *part the third*

Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll have me a Gin!" 
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench " Go right ahead Me Dear~
Fer now I'll surely Win!"

With...

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We big, tough, well-thinking male bearberries blew and we snarled and we spouted and we blew.

But those danged dandelions obstinately kept their tops on, no matter how much we did fuss.

Come on fellas, I said...

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I look in the mirror and see the years gone
I can look beyond the glass out the window
To the yards of my childhood
I can smell the flowers and feel the grass ‘neath my feet. 
I...

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Cap'n & the Wench  *part the fourth*

Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll 'ave me some White Lightnin' " 
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
Fer y've ne'er been...

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Cap'n & the Wench *part the second*

Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Tequila!" 
So says the Cap'n to the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
I'll be hard a'lee ta...

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Alone in the dungeon, I am furious with the them’s, the they’s, the experts, the teacher, my cousin, the snitch, my classmates, and especially my parents for they are the ones who ruined things for...

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Well, I read in the paper today that Senator Feinstein has again gone berserk!
With the plethora of problems we have, she wants to give chickens a perk!
Never mind that millions of souls are out of...

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(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws - that’s for sure - and sometimes run amuck
But the final...

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Let's see..which one do I write about; we got ten.
The four in the house can cause quite a stir,
and every one is worthy of paper and pen,
But the last shall come first so I'll talk...

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ATLANTIS RISES 

After 7000 years    old Atlantis    alluva sudden come up yesterday
Popped up – skinny end first – like a cork
No time ta think o’ displaced water  ...

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The sergeant volunteered me for guard this cold and moonless night.
I was rushed to the front as a new replacement addin' to my plight.
I don't even know the sergeant's name and I doubt that he...

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“Long time na see    Jim”

“Yip    Long time na see    Jake”

“D’ja see?”

“What?”

“John Critchuns ‘n that danged Big White o’ his”

“Caint say as I did”

“They oughta be a...

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Bet youse cain't guesses 
Whats I's done taday,
I's saddles up ma ol' roan
Un we's set off'n the trail
Whar tha doggies likes ta play.

Thay war tha fattest critters
Tha grass ut war belly high
Thay's maws war so...

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"Cap'n & the Wench"   *part the first*

Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Beer!" 
So says the Cap'n to the Wench " Go right ahead Me Dear!" 

With...

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I’ma tell you folks a story
It’s all of it strait true-
It’s my story
‘bout why I’s singin’ the blues…

I awoke on a morning
Bright and shiny, night after the juke
Felt like I been kicked in tha head
And...

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Shelly said that Darlene said that
Tina said that you are an ignorant fool.
So?
Jinny said that Zinna was rolling her eyes at you.
Farina said you have cooties.
So?
Do you want to hear what Allie said about you?
No,...

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I was a vampire that night.
My fangs were red and orange with candy corn.
My face was smeared white with sweat and paste
Causing a ghoulishly acrid taste to drip into my mouth.

My plan and curfew were...

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I sometimes think my poetry ain't poems in modern favor.
Intelligentsia declares, but I danged well won't waver
from writin' simple, unpretentious words 'n' thoughts called “witty”.
From now on my poetry ain't a poem, it's called a...

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George and his stupid acorns.
He has no sense of boundaries--
danged things falling on my head.
And Celia. She thinks she's all that
with her new clothes: red, yellow,
green, orange. How passe!
And then Baldy, the coward,
so afraid of...

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I could not stop playing four casino Quartermania machines in Vegas.
Totally exasperated with me was my sixteen-year-old daughter, Mavis.
At two a.m. I was dancing between them singing a song I made up.
If anyone approached I...

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I could not stop playing four casino Quartermania machines in Vegas.
Totally exasperated with me was my sixteen-year-old daughter, Mavis.
At two a.m. I was dancing between them singing a song I made up.
When others approached, I...

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We have fed, wooed, wined and dined a stray dog for two days.
My husband Joe, who is a sucker for dogs, named him Brownie.
This stray, Brownie loved our dog Buddy and Buddy loved him.
Buddy kept...

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Dotcom was not in the mood for company to come in
He was trying to balance the books with paper and pen
Here is a pencil his owner said; her name was Sue.
She could not balance her...

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This is the story of the frog, the bee, the spider and the mouse
They decided to become roommates and purchase a small house.
First the bee got kicked out, and he began to grouse
They are unfair...

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