Best Danged Poems

...
Kirk: "Spock, is it possible McCoy is somehow being controlled by an alien presence?"
Spock: "Curiously, I have long believed that McCoy was..."
Kirk: "Not now Spock!  Sheesh.  Sulu, get McCoy up......

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...Shelly said that Darlene said that
Tina said that you are an ignorant fool.
So?
Jinny said that Zinna was rolling her eyes at you.
Farina said you have cooties.
So?
Do you want to hear what All......

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...(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws - that’s for sure - and sometimes run amuck
But the fina......

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...George and his stupid acorns.
He has no sense of boundaries--
danged things falling on my head.
And Celia. She thinks she's all that
with her new clothes: red, yellow,
green, orange. How passe!
......

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...I’ma tell you folks a story
It’s all of it strait true-
It’s my story
‘bout why I’s singin’ the blues…

I awoke on a morning
Bright and shiny, night after the juke
Felt like I been kicked in tha head......

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...Well, I read in the paper today that Senator Feinstein has again gone berserk!
With the plethora of problems we have, she wants to give chickens a perk!
Never mind that millions of souls are out of......

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...A bunch of paparazzi came into town, with new toys, and an added crew.
Yes, we were now to meet the technological ages, latest break through!
We were suddenly swarmed by drones, that they very aggr......

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...
Cap'n & the Wench  *part the fourth*

Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll 'ave me some White Lightnin' " 
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
Fer y've ne'er be......

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...
Cap'n & the Wench *part the second*

Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Tequila!" 
So says the Cap'n to the Wench "Go right ahead Me Dear~
I'll be hard a'lee ta feel Y......

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...
"Cap'n & the Wench"   *part the first*

Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Beer!" 
So says the Cap'n to the Wench " Go right ahead Me Dear!" 

With an Evil Grin & a T......

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...ATLANTIS RISES 

After 7000 years    old Atlantis    alluva sudden come up yesterday
Popped up – skinny end first – like a cork
No time ta think o’ displaced water    tidal waves    all that stuff
Sh......

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...
Cap'n & the Wench  *part the third*

Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll have me a Gin!" 
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench " Go right ahead Me Dear~
Fer now I'll surely Win!"

Wit......

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...We big, tough, well-thinking male bearberries blew and we snarled and we spouted and we blew.

But those danged dandelions obstinately kept their tops on, no matter how much we did fuss.

Come on......

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...Moses led the Israelites up out of Egypt through the desert to the Promised Land.

   He hesitated but God roared, "Mo, you the man!" placing a magic staff in his hand!

So Moses with resolute st......

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...When Simple Simon met the pieman going to the fair,
He thought the guy an easy mark he could con out of his wares.
But the pieman glared at him and hissed,
"Bub, I ain't no danged pie-lanthropist!......

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