Best Danged Poems

Shelly said that Darlene said that
Tina said that you are an ignorant fool.
So?
Jinny said that Zinna was rolling her eyes at you.
Farina said you have...

Read more of this work...

(song lyrics)
Verse 1:
Now I can’t go fishin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my rod and reel
Can’t go snow-racin’, ‘cuz ya’ sold my snowmobile
And I got flaws -...

Read more of this work...

George and his stupid acorns.
He has no sense of boundaries--
danged things falling on my head.
And Celia. She thinks she's all that
with her new clothes: red,...

Read more of this work...

I’ma tell you folks a story
It’s all of it strait true-
It’s my story
‘bout why I’s singin’ the blues…

I awoke on a morning
Bright and shiny, night...

Read more of this work...

Well, I read in the paper today that Senator Feinstein has again gone berserk!
With the plethora of problems we have, she wants to give chickens...

Read more of this work...

ATLANTIS RISES 

After 7000 years    old Atlantis    alluva sudden come up yesterday
Popped up – skinny end first – like...

Read more of this work...

A bunch of paparazzi came into town, with new toys, and an added crew.
Yes, we were now to meet the technological ages, latest break through!
We...

Read more of this work...

Cap'n & the Wench  *part the fourth*

Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll 'ave me some White Lightnin' " 
So says the Cap'n...

Read more of this work...

Cap'n & the Wench  *part the third*

Says the Wench t'the Cap'n "Me thinks I'll have me a Gin!" 
So says the Cap'n t'the Wench...

Read more of this work...

Cap'n & the Wench *part the second*

Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Tequila!" 
So says the Cap'n to the...

Read more of this work...

"Cap'n & the Wench"   *part the first*

Says the Wench to the Cap'n "I thinks I'll have Me a Beer!" 
So says the Cap'n...

Read more of this work...

We big, tough, well-thinking male bearberries blew and we snarled and we spouted and we blew.

But those danged dandelions obstinately kept their tops on, no...

Read more of this work...

Moses led the Israelites up out of Egypt through the desert to the Promised Land.

   He hesitated but God roared, "Mo, you the...

Read more of this work...

“Long time na see    Jim”

“Yip    Long time na see    Jake”

“D’ja see?”

“What?”

“John Critchuns ‘n that danged Big...

Read more of this work...

I can't stop these fecking images
I can't top the excitement they bring
I don't go looking for them
It's all the god danged TV sings

It's all that's...

Read more of this work...