Best Walk The Plank Poems
help mrs. muse is gone and my mind is shooting blanks
my friend called inspiration is trying to walk the plank
motivation just married mr lazy
and confidence started acting really crazy
cousin common sense is on vacation out of town
and aunt intelligence is nowhere to be found
uncle rational is at the casino gambling his life away
and my best friend happiness never wants to stay
my neighbor opportunity doesnt knock on my door anymore
and my girlfriend love is really just a whore
my partner pride is always full of himself
and sister sympathy is busy with someone else
grandpa wisdom is smart enough not to say a word
and grandma compassion is seen but never heard
the only friends that ever come to town
is anger and disgust and they always hang around
my high school sweat heart infatuation doesnt really call
and my childhood friend imagination doesnt exist at all
Sad broken boy
When will you become a man
You try flying high
wishing you were Peter Pan
But you don’t understand
the stuff you’re putting in your veins
is taking you to a Never Never Land
That pain you hold
you’ll never ever escape
with needles pills or vape
You’re giving up bits of yourself
that the Hook is happy to take
On wobbly legs you walk the plank
and the crocodile is wide awake
One more Never Never Land trip
could mean never ever being free
That place you travel to
it won’t help you to truly see
The real trip is facing your misery
You can’t mine for silver
floating in the clouds
above your history
In the world you travel to
the monsters are real
The power they yield
is making you not feel
I know that numbness has its own appeal
Still I wish I could show you
you’re making a bad deal
Your soul is being dined on
and the demons are enjoying the meal
Seek God’s help
He has a perfect plan
He can heal the boy and the man
Things can be better than
being a pretend Peter Pan
Choose the great escape
from Never Never Land
You are meant to inhabit a Promised Land
It's your choice
leave you burden at the Cross
take Jesus's hand.
A quote from "90 North" by Randall Jarrell:
"I see at last that all the knowledge
I wrung from darkness -- that the darkness flung me --
is worthless as ignorance: nothing comes from nothing,
The darkness from the darkness. Pain comes from the darkness.
And we call it wisdom. It is pain."
The first bike I ever owned --
when I was ten or eleven --
was a Christmas gift
from a friend. He was receiving a new one
and I was gifted with his old bike.
He had cleaned it up and brush painted it
with a nice coat of red paint.
It was the only gift I got that year,
one of my only gifts as a child.
I loved that bike:
it freed me to pedal around so
I could accompany my friend
as we rode anywhere in our tiny,
sandy, two-paved-road fishing town.
Before the bike, I ran alongside him.
I was quite accustomed to running everywhere,
especially in summer, barefoot, usually shirtless.
Most years from first grade
until we were about twelve,
we spent our time together,
at his house or in imaginary jungles
or on wild, indian-infested wagon train trails.
We defended those trails from apaches
intent on taking our scalps.
Sometimes, on pirate ships, we manned canons
or forced reluctant traitors and mutineers
to walk the plank for failures and misdeeds.
We were never bored, usually outdoors.
On jungle safaris we were frequently attacked
by ferocious lions and tigers and
often captured by cannibal head-hunters
who put us into large pots to cook us
while dancing all around and brandishing
their spears. They sang or chanted
amazing, invented language repetitive
verses overloaded with frequent "ughs'
and tongue-twisting nonsense phrases.
His mother served us gallons of Kool Aid,
gave us snacks we ate with relish.
With a child’s trusting nature,
I hoped this could never end –
I felt secure in friendship and
apparent acceptance by
my friend’s parents. Of course,
things did change.
But..........I did not.
Not for a long, long time.
Lest we forget
When the Shelling
And the Din of gunfire
Finally stopped
His mind was shot
A hollow broken shell
Stood
Crooked in the corner of some foreign land
Every boy and man befell unto
Inspite of class or rank
Come 1,
Come all
To walk the plank
Into no mans land
Gods hands
As the marching band grew silenced
Drowned out by the violence
Of brethren slain,
Into the Dunes of Alamein
Listen, my dears, and I'll tell you a tale
Of a princess, a pirate, and glory.
There's a shipwreck, a rescue,
A romance, a ransom,
And a handicapped whale in the story.
There once was a princess, fairest of all,
But also quite vain and spoiled rotten.
She had a semi-private
Affair with a pirate
That would be but for me now forgotten.
The pirate, Mad Jack, was bloodthirsty and crude,
When upset, he'd explode, blow his top off.
Merchant vessels he sank,
Made their crews walk the plank,
Or, more rudely, their heads he would lop off.
One day Princess Daphne set out to sea
With her maid, they were bound for Majorca.
But the maid, in a gale,
Was swept over the rail
And inhaled by an asthmatic orca.
Lifeboats were lowered, the crew clambered in
And rowed quickly away, only thinking
Of saving their own necks,
Not the princess below decks
Left alone on a wreck that was sinking.
Then through the storm a ship hove into view,
At first Daphne thought it would dodge her.
But before she could hail her,
She felt courage fail her,
From its mast flew a vast Jolly Roger.
When Princess Daphne was brought before Jack,
She was haughty but thought he was handsome.
But to his greedy eyes
This fair royal prize
Represented a shipload of ransom.
But Jack was still human, Daphne was too,
And soon they were sharing their privates.
To his quarters she moved
And his crew all approved,
No one loves a love tale more than pirates.
But what of the ransom, yet to be paid?
Well, here the plot gets even deeper.
The stingy king said to Jack,
"No, I don't want her back.
It's cheaper for me if you keep her."
So Princess Daphne became Jack's sea wife,
And though common, but not mandatory,
When they became parents
They stopped being pirates
And passed peacefully out of the story.
For now then, my dears, that's the end of my tale,
An adventurous one hard to equal.
But, if I may be so bold,
And there's more to be told,
It may one day unfold in a sequel.
Monkey See~
There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank
*
Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?
~ Skat ~
Contest~
Here we are in 1650, which is ten minutes to five
swing the wheel to the West, which is left,
put your sun cream away, man the mizzen and the stays
as we set off for some murder and some theft.
You'll find us as your hosts on the sunny Barbary Coast
and from there we venture forth to ply our trade
we've been out leaving them for dead from the Atlantic to the Med
before we skittle off back home our fortunes made
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
As I previously stated we all get inebriated
from our copious imbibing of the grog
our excuse is there's no Cola in the bars of Hispaniola
which is why we need the hair of the dog
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
Got a woman in Bermuda and another in Tortuga
and they give me lots of lovin' for some coins
and although they're very foxy they're just both a pair of doxies
which I'm sure explains the rash around me groin
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
Now we're really no buffoons when it comes down to doubloons
and our treasure chests are burstin' at the seams
then old Blackbeard started spouting about doing our accounting
so I said (before I shot him) 'in your dreams'
(ye chorus)
As we skirmish the Atlantic I was starting to get frantic
since the one thing on my voyage I've always feared
is the men who've not been coming for a while across some women
have all started wearing lipstick, which is weird
(arr, the chorus again)
Well it's reached that point me hearties where we anchor down and party
so me shipmates here on board I'd like to thank
though the mix of food and beer has now given me diarrhea
which is why I've made our cook just walk the plank
(for thee last time, chorus, arrrr)
September 17th 2015, 'A pirate's life for me' contest, sponsor Kelly Deschler
(Author's note- there are several spellings of diarrhea, but it doesn't matter, they all have 'arr' in 'em, me hearties)
I’m a scoundrel that travels by sea
with me mates. We are happy and free
cause we live life with ease
doing just what we please.
It’s the life of a pirate for me!
If you see in the distance our mast
with the skull and the crossbones, run fast!
We’ll be comin’ for you
and your women folk too.
There is nothing of yours that’ll last!
Cause we’ll loot and pollute till we’re through,
burn your houses and then come for you.
Better run far away.
Run into the next day,
cause your gold we’ll be lookin’ for too.
Leave by boat, and I’m gonna be frank,
when we catch ya, that boat will be sank.
Once we drink us some rum,
we’ll be having our fun
watching captives of ours walk the plank!
I suppose we might have sympathy
for a maid who acts dutifully.
But if you’ve got a wife,
better run for your life,
for no honor nor scruples have we!
Since a pirate don’t do what he should,
if you see us in your neighborhood,
better get up and go.
Bad is good and Yo! Ho!
Me pirate life’s better than good!
For the the A Pirate's Life For Me Poetry Contest of Kelly Deschler
captain Breckenridge, listen to what I said
the crew is hungry because they are not getting fed
our rations are low and if you give it time,
we shall have a mutiny on our hands
just give me the order and say it with me,
captain Breckenridge
someone shall walk the plank and
the hungry sharks are wolves tonight,
aye, and the sharks are waiting overboard,
to be fed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raging, inviting. Inscrutable ice
King Neptune's daughter, her moods are water
You won't dive into the same ocean twice
She'll make you think it's your net that has caught her
Catch and release is her patent device
Wives tales have brought her whales to the slaughter
You'll receive notice of your sacrifice
on paper she folds into boats at high tide
Each kiss that she blows grows to gale at shoreline
She weighs on the scale that you chose to define
She's the grate of the sand. She's the dock. She's the bank
She will wait on dry land and watch you walk the plank
In their wake, sharks leave trails with their fins in the brine
but the trident that pins you makes marks you can't find
and impaled, you give in to each heartbreaking tine
yet forget every time that you sank
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Living in a house very old,
it was always drafty and cold.
Metal stairs to the basement lead,
from an old pirate's ship they said.
Was this story really told?
On the ship many were sick~dead,
did they all walk the plank in red.
Those metal steps brought real fear,
a bottomless pit was so near.
Dark and dusty I must now head.
The washer~dryer were in here,
clean clothes I needed to appear.
I headed for the metal stairs,
a voice was calling in the airs.
Where are you now going my dear?
Date Written:6/9/2022
HowManySyllables.com and RhymeZone
We are all poets
In the same boat
The reason we write
Just to stay afloat
There's no other reason
Of that, I know
For us as poets
To stay afloat
So draw the anchor
Hoist the sail
We'll all rhyme our way
Clear outta here
Sailing the pantoum oceans
On sonnet seas
Casting our lot
In the poetic breeze
Steering riddling rudders
Across verses in waves
Until the very last day
We're made to walk the plank
As we are all poets
In the same boat
Trying our best
Just to stay afloat
Out apon the sea.
Its hard to catch some relife.
Or find some time to set willy free.
It's a priates life no need to back your
bags.
Just grab a pint.
When in port avoid the sea hags.
Swab the decks and please if
ya gotta puke lean over the side.
Be a good little sea bandit
or you'll be learning were Davey Jones does
reside.
We got fish for breakfest supper and lunch.
Can somone please help the captain.
ya know with a hook for a hand its easy to
get your pants in a bunch.
I gotta walk the plank again ?
Hey it's really rude sticking me with that knife.
It sure would be nice if we put this ship in the water.
Do more than drinking and dreaming of the pirates life.
I really dont trust a captian with a poodle.
It really gets old being harrased.
And cleaning up fee fee's doodle
Dont let Larry steer.
After the tenth time it gets old.
running a ground to go fetch a beer.
No sir I dont belive we'll run into the loch ness monster
off the jersey shore.
No I dont belive the worlds flat.
And I dont care if the five year old first mate swore.
The crows nesk is a perfect place to hide from your
wife.
Were heading the wrong way check the gps.
Yes I really cant take this pirates life.
Yes captian I really doubt A mermaid stole
all the rum.
What's the catch of the day?
Sea monster sure I'll have some.
The captian is crabby and it's time for the
first mates nap.
The cook isnt crying cause he's choppin onions
Its cause he finished the briges of Madison County
yes he's a bit of a sap.
It's probaly not best to duel with a butter knife.
As we set sail yes mam we''ll have the first mate
back befor sundown.
It's kinda messed up living this modern pirates life.
I set me sails,
And head out to sea,
A pirates life this shall be.
A crew to build of pirates lad,
Ones that look awfully mad.
We rob them ships,
And look for gold,
Centuries of sailing,
But none look old.
With a sword in one hand,
A gun in my right,
If and when i catch you,
You'll walk the plank tonight.
Alligators swimming,
And sharks are below,
So when you jump in,
It will be your time to go.
Brave you are thinking,
But scared you shall be,
The last person you'll see standing,
shall and will be me.
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Be warned, who goes there at his helm!
This corner of Poseidon's realm
belongs to ME.
From shiny crest to briny floor,
horizons ledge to edge of shore,
I OWN this sea!
Herein, a vessel named as thine
shall be reclaimed and hence be mine -
as will it's BANK
But fear ye not! When faced with dues
defaulters, in debts place, may choose
to walk the plank!
I am the Ocean's rebel son
and devils work is never done,
so, I set sail...
Forever after, young again,
both Cabin Boy and Captain in
this pirates tale...
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