Best Usual Poems

I’ll never forget what’s her name
A PE teacher and ogre she became
For I was such a sickly child
it really made this ogre wild
Held in my hand a medical certificate 
exempted from all things physical
with Rheumatic Fever and St Vitus’ Dance
for me to take part ~...

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Rock Hardon just called a staff meeting
To hear a complaint about cheating 
Our Xerox machine
Could not be wiped clean
So privates were publicly sheeting...

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Ah, sweet business!
And it's smooth as usual!
I freaking love life....

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An important man suffers a serious head injury.
It’s a cerebral blood clot requiring surgery.
However, it cannot be performed the usual way.
Here is an ultra modern method available this day:
This is a scientific advance quite difficult to realize.
They shrink a submarine and its crew to microscopic...

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Nary earthly idea what needs done next,
each candidate seeks his opponent’s hex.
   Their Agapes are sloppy,
   carnal mistake they copy,
lost in a googolplex of carnal fix!

All their tables are full of their vomit,
very much so with all idle comment!
  ...

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They promise the sun, moon and stars

     Kiss all the babies and pass out cigars

          Wild campaign vows are spoken

            ...

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This one called that one a crook;
That one called this one a dud.
Neither could be clearly seen,
Once they were done slinging mud....

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In lunch or dinner
  at table my guests waiting
     bees, jelly... cats, fish...

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Every day at quarter to four
There is often a rush to the library door
The ‘usual suspects’ are often there
Sitting on a library chair

They speak to the teacher who they have upset
It may have been deliberate or even for a bet
They could have been fighting, swearing...

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brutalized senseless happenstance
 with a corkscrew conscience
 full of cheap wine.

 daylight rammeses unraveling the 
sheets in the morning.

three bottles tipped sideways lieing
 against the alarm clock.

 such a strange cracked nautilus,
 my eyes flushed with water
  in a cheap sink.

 but i will...

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Usual cliche opening line 
A trite and superficial rhyme.. 
Now exposition maudlin- 
about pain or love or the weather. 
A clever offset bit of sing-song; 
Stuff like ding-dong or even King-Kong. 
And, as usual a line to make- 
this thing too long. Now finish strong-...

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If I had an IQ of 17, 
would this be normal?

My son, 
with cerebral palsy, 
no language capacity, no LeftBrain ability to read or write 
or speak using linguistic tools, 
with no hint of verbal or violent dominance issues, 
has an angelic peace-loving IQ 
in...

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Our boss employed a receptionist
Whose beauty we could not compare
Double D cups woke up the knights
As pheromones surged through the air

Her chair is usually empty
Excepting this handwritten note:
"I have just stepped out for the male"
Exactly as written I quote...

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As Usual Again

My and my elegant wife must excuse
We're driving to Florida going on a cruise
Of course my wife won't think I am funny
When I said we never had enough money.

Going on great cruise did desire to do
After brochures we looked through a few
Naturally wife...

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Forgotten what it's like to be thought consumed,
Feeling a little rough while appearing well and groomed,
Something on its way and I sense it more than most,
A choice I haven't made already in the post....

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