Best Toot Poems

At center of soul,
Lien my  wealth  of gold,
In the bible,
You’re very well liable,
To see gold,
In centerfold,
Of soul,

Not in centerfold ,
Of playboy, so bold,
Not...

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Owl Parliament is now in session, so be quiet please.
All whistles, hoots, growls, grunts and screeches need to cease.

As the largest of you all, I’m...

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I’m lunching with my bestie Mylie
She’s upset and no longer smiley
I ask her what’s wrong
She said in my thong
My bottom is no match for Kylie!

I...

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My bladder behaves through the night
Each morning my flow is just right.... 
But throughout the day 
There is hell to pay
It's bursting; I cross my...

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Baby brother, your naughty smile entices
A chuckle ringing through the night,
While those eyes blue wink like stars
That I'm pretty sure , we are alike...
If Aunt...

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I think there is a new vibration, I can feel it right here on my stoop.
Can you smell it in the wind, I’m thinking it...

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My rhino can play the flute
And is good at the maracas to boot
Alas he is quite forlorn
For his flute bangs into his horn
So now he...

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I awoke last night and fell out of bed.
A fart from my Pit bull nearly left me for dead.
It was silent but deadly as it...

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Ted was a professional farter
and at his windy recitals he’d boast
that could even toot Moonlight Sonata
If his wife fed him baked beans on toast!

There was...

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"50 Words for Poe: Witch"




She liked driving fast
The number plate in the dust
Read DOT.OZ.LimaLimaBrava 
Their destination was Wichita

Foot to the Floor 
Off Route 66 Silver...

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FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-ass old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
  ...

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Powder dreams and acid queens
Snow white bliss and razor 
blades
Rails so thick your heart will 
bleed
Find your fix so you’ll succeed 
Uppers, downers, sweet cocaine
Every...

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Build me an engine –lady of my dream,

Let it be powered by eternal steam.

May patience be your tool of design,

Planning completeness with a cunning mind.

To...

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Dear Cancer, Hi. Its, David Schwent.
       Just dropping a line after the time we've spent
Together off and on and...

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Toot, toot goes the train.
Jump, jump goes the brain.
Moved to a new house.
Old one had a mouse.
Sometimes change is good.

It's all the same!
Play the sleep...

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