Best Sneezed Poems
Come now, Spring! You’re such a fickle young thing!
On the wings of newborn feathers, your wiles
up and downturn winds to sudden cold flings
tripping warming skins to tremble a while…
Next come your silken color-filled fancies!
Eyes beckoned, step out to be near such charms…
Yens still, as you march as perfumed dandy,
masking musky breath, that breezes sneezed harm…
And when April comes along, your eye gleams!
Enchantment grows, then fades to slushy mush….
Becoming crystals, shatter in your steam
Oh how she weeps, for diamonds rained to slush!
Rivers gush your youth’s enthusiasm ~
Now, may you calm, ere you deepen chasms ~
(2/7/23)
Categories:
sneezed, may,
Form:
Sonnet
One day I delivered a poem
one that seemed to be premature
so I swaddled her up
and set her aside
to grow 'til I felt reassured
How she yowled and howled for attention...
how she cried so piteously!
How she coughed and she sneezed
whimpered and wheezed
then threw up all over me!
Still I tenderly tended her bedside
and lovingly nursed her along
determined to sacrifice everything
to raise her up healthy and strong
As she grew and recovered, she wandered
and crawled over everything
and I found I had trouble containing
my rambling, unruly offspring
She became an inexcusable bounder
a wayward and bratty ingrate
who despite all my love and affection
refused to make sense or read straight
She dallied in questionable places
she idled and shiftlessly shirked
lazily lagging, ignoring my nagging
while I selflessly, endlessly worked
Firmly applied discipline to her
and structure, and meter, and rhyme
but she bucked, and rebelled, and bit me
and stayed up beyond her bedtime
We wrestled, and wrangled, and brawled,
bickered in bitter altercation
if I didn't do something quite soon
she would ruin my good reputation
At length, I decided I'd had it
we had reached the end of the road
and although she clung like a wet paper towel-
I flung her and flushed the commode!
Categories:
sneezed, humor, humorous, silly, word
Form:
Rhyme
Harassing me for days now
Landing on my eyelid
Nosing up my nostril
Tickling my ankles
and every other exposed body part
Little bastard...
Fly-Swatter? Jack be nimble, Jack...
Folded bath towel? (Lamp destroyed)
Raid? Sprayed til I sneezed and choked
and had to quickly retreat outside
(I may have poisoned myself)
Little bastard...
Last night it buzzed me awake
I injured various body parts
(Bloody nose, ruptured eardrum)
Little bastard...
I want to murder it
I want to assassinate it
but I want to capture it first
pull off it’s puny little wings
and watch it scramble on the floor
all the while crawling behind
laughing, shouting and jeering
'How you like THEM apple peelings?'
before I jump to the ceiling (Boink)
before I stomp and then grind
in a mad and homicidal rage
Little bastard...
Epilogue:
Whew! I’m feeling pretty okay now
The medication helps immeasurably
I know now why they’re called Asylums
They are refuge from a brutal environment
a world dominated and controlled by---Bssst!!
Little BASTARD...
Categories:
sneezed, angst, insect,
Form:
Light Verse
My grandmother lost her glass eye
She sneezed when she breathed in a fly
As her eyeball flew by
She exclaimed my oh my
My glass eye has learned how to fly
Categories:
sneezed, grandmother, nonsense, silly,
Form:
Limerick
A springtime fawn found a placid pond and knelt down for a drink.
She bent her knees into the mud,
And placed her velveted chin
parallel to the pond
and the dawn found
the edge of the earth.
The touch of the fawn’s
Mouth made the water wake.
(and all things in it).
And as she drank,
the orchestra played the pond-song play.
The whole pond awoke to the sound of the little, lapping,
fawn’s tongue-song.
A tadpole was freed and ...Swam in the song.
He surfaced.
Greened in the dawn.
And surprised the fawn.
He saddled her sweet new nose
With his bright green clothes.
And she sneezed him
Aloft a red virgin rose.
Categories:
sneezed, animal, color, image, innocence,
Form:
Free verse
Lin, sorry to hear, as I am sick too
But I know it's not covid or the flu
Been blowing my raw nose
Sneezing still comes and goes
Maybe this cold needs a brandy or two
Written by Tania Kitchin
Hi poets, I've not been ignoring you
I've been battling the naughty germ, the flu
Writing this just to say
Feeling better today
I'll catch up on comments. Merci beaucoup!
Written by Lin Lane
Poor Tania and Lin are both ailing
I’m healthy but my muse is sailing
Away on a cruise
So I’ve got the blues
My chagrin is not worth detailing!
Written by Jan Allison
What I'm about to tell you is no lies
And it may come to you as a surprise
That all your sneezes
And all your wheezes
Are caused by covid virus in disguise
Written by Tom Cunningham
Tania and Lin, want to make a confession
They went out on the town for a session
But some bug sneezed in their wine,
On his way back from Des Moine’s
Now Feds have nailed him for indiscretion
Written by David Kavanagh
Poor Tania and Lin are both sick
In blighty we say Tom and Dick
But struck by girl flu
We men would boo hoo
So I’m getting out of here QUICK!
Written by Terry Flood
Our friends, Lin and Tania- feeling ill
Seems they both have a cough, cold...and a chill
They wrote each other a letter
To make each other feel better
So, their hubbies could get back on the pill
Written by Charles Messina
Everyone feels sick at the same darn time
This is a get well limerick in rhyme
No more sneezing issues
You've used all the tissues
Drink some tequila and suck on a lime!"
Written by Mark Koplin
Categories:
sneezed, care, health, sick,
Form:
Limerick
The bright Christmas lights on my city house are so colorful and traditional,
hopefully when I get my high utility bill I won't become too irrational,
and watching everyone open up their gifts makes me want to sigh,
also hoping that when I get the credit card bills I won't start to cry,
And the Christmas room has edible fumes of the eating variety kind,
with the holiday weight I gain ending up in my butt and thighs,
while getting a white Christmas is something I always wished for,
but not slipping on the slippery steps when walking out the front door,
A different group of Christmas carolers singing out front in my yard,
all of them sounding very off key like a cat getting strangled,
and not having money to give them gave them some pie I baked,
most of them getting sick from it Betty Crocker I aint,
Going Christmas shopping and getting stuck in the holiday traffic,
and trying to find a parking spot at the mall was really quite baffling,
having to sit there and wait till I saw a shopper getting ready to leave,
another car beat me to the spot while I sat there and sneezed,
So I decided to move far away from the hustle and the bustle,
wheres all I have to worry about is what is that woodland noisy rustle,
could be a black bear, coyote, wolf or a moose,
and when I get my mail every day have to run so they don't bite my big caboose,
But thats ok I'm starting to feel at home for the holidays in the hills,
getting used to the 8 foot snow drifts and the night time animal shrills,
while getting into my vehicle can be quite an ordeal,
running like a fugitive till I get inside of it in my camouflage gear,
But I have a plan B just in case living in the hills doesn't all work out,
I'll just move to Florida where the humidity and big bugs will bother me no doubt,
where I'll buy my own little house hopefully sinkhole free and keep it fumigated,
and pretend to have a white Christmas even though its 85 degrees out while getting chased by an alligator.
Happy Holidays Everyone!
12-24-16
Categories:
sneezed, christmas, holiday, home, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
Mitten the kitten was black as the night
Apart from his tail which was perfectly white
All of the cats got together each week
In Mitten’s big garden to play hide-and-seek
The fat ginger Tom counted to ten
Said “Ready or not, here I come”, and then…
He found Ray the grey stray hid in the tree
Among all the leaves he was easy to see
But Mitten the kitten was nowhere in sight
Not even his tail which was perfectly white
The Siamese twins hid in the bins
“I saw you go in there”, said Tom to the twins
But Mitten the kitten was nowhere in sight
Not even his tail which was perfectly white
Bob the bobtail went under the mat
Tom saw the bump and said “That’s where you’re at!”
But Mitten the kitten was nowhere in sight
Not even his tail which was perfectly white
Abby the tabby hid in the flue
She sneezed and she sneezed and Tom said “That’s you!”
But Mitten the kitten was nowhere in sight
Not even his tail which was perfectly white
All of the cats had been found except Mitten
So Tom asked the others, “Where is that kitten?”
None of them knew, they looked up the flue...
The Siamese twins, they peered in the bins...
Abby ran off to look in the trough...
Ray the grey stray searched through the hay...
The bobtail called Bob peeked under the hob...
But Mitten the kitten was nowhere in sight
Not even his tail which was perfectly white
Then Tom saw a note upon the front door
He was quite sure it was not there before
It said, “Going on holidays, be back on Sat.
Taking a break… and taking the cat.”
That's why Mitten the kitten was nowhere in sight
Not even his tail which was perfectly white
Categories:
sneezed, children,
Form:
Rhyme
Through the creek of the door there sneaked in a silent messenger of Lucifer,
A breathing man sneezed till the last breath, and was shrouded with chillness,
It was a soothing flame of fire choked the chamber in and out,
Rapidity was a trait of the silent messenger which breathed its force mysteriously,
And there was coughing, sneezing and spitting with rising temperature,
The stigma of Covid-19 had its recycle with its mutated psychology.
The victims succumbed to the predator’s double-bladed scalpel.
The illegitimate entry of Covid -19 into an Oriental province is an infamous history,
The silent messenger then turned to an untamable monster that devoured the ‘innocents’,
Clinical staff ran helter-skelter to fight with the devouring monster,
The malicious hunter with his hunting dog wolfed breath in minutes.
The mammoth giant in miniature form of virus wielded his weapon ‘cross the horizon,
And multiple lives were dragged thro’ the tunnel of darkness,
The malicious organisms with short span of life-expectancy breed countless generations,
And enjoy themselves with the crown of sinister leaves.
Who will chase the messenger of Lucifer and shall redeem the world?
Day in and day out chemicals and antibiotics run under microscopes,
Vaccines are tried in every corner,
But experiments and efforts seem to be a fiasco.
So Who shall chase the messenger of evil from the face of human lives?
There is One Who made man and creations,
So, let’s seek His Providence to walk in His Word,
And Life on earth shall be a way unto the Life of Eternity.
Shall we all….?
,
Categories:
sneezed, bible, blessing, christian, christmas,
Form:
Free verse
I
The winds were loudly whistling,
Blowing the trees’ leaves all around;
God sneezed and misty rain fell to the ground;
In an instant, blades of green grass began to glisten.
II
The lightening choreographed its self
Throughout the air;
In the far distance, the loud thunder
Was heard clashing;
The heavily burdened clouds had taken in
All they could bare…
Suddenly, giant balls of pelting hail began
Their icy trashing…
III
Curious about the rain caused strife,
The sun peeped to investigate;
Unaware—the Devil was beating his wife,
The sun’s concern was a bit too late.
IV
It’s known, rain is no friend to the desert’s growth;
And that floods care less where they might spread.
Such strange fellows are the both;
Happily sharing the same old bed…
Categories:
sneezed, imagery, nature, poetry, rain,
Form:
Quintain (English)
Long, long ago in a village called Sun
Tales were told and stories were spun,
Near a campfire where sweet meats were cooked
And everyone listened whilst Mr Moon looked.
The Owl and The Pussy Cat the wise man had told
That story was dear and worthy of gold,
Cinderella was famous for cats loved what they heard
Admired by many including bluebird.
Though of all the tales by the old and the young
With dancing of scenes and songs they had sung,
A fable had fallen right to the red Earth
Which glittered glow green from beautiful birth.
Great turtle took height with bold book and a bell
All had gone quiet under his spell,
He sneezed once then twice and cheered with a chime
'My story is grand, My story is mine…
Believe this or not once I was small
Smaller than most, most of y’all,
And when I was born under the sands
All was connected, unified lands.
Under the stars I emerged from my nest
Born with a shell naturally dressed,
Oh, how I was proud with my shorter length tail
Until I was stuck on a large piece of shale.
As my brothers and sisters left for blue sea
I was alone poor little me,
Though I dreamt of the seaweed being nightgown
I just happened to be upside down.
Flapping my flippers, I tried to get loose
When along came a soldier Mr Grey Goose'
‘Security Honk!’ he yelled with a shriek
Then lifted me upright with his smooth beak.
'Thank You so much, Thank You my friend
I thought my long journey was going to end,
Then you came along and saved my sweet life
If it were not for you, I’d still be in strife'.
Then he honked very loud and stated real clear
No problem young hatchling this is your year
To swim in the ocean without any fear,
Growing bigger and stronger with sisters and brothers
And during your journey you will help others…
No matter the yarn in Moonlight or Sun
Good times will happen when kind deeds are done.
Categories:
sneezed, animal, inspirational love, spoken
Form:
Narrative
Some say
they were pure white trash
and the rich took a glancing pass
as we walked the streets bared a....
But not one of us really cared
ignoring their well to do stares.
As kids, we all laughed and danced
annoying the better dismay glance.
Mama took us by the hand
and the teens acted as if they were part of a grunge band
and such disarray kept us always on display
as we happily danced away.
Some watcher bees said we must live in forest trees
having no iota of couth when we sneezed
but still, we were happily unawares and that's the truth
pure white trash never needed things for worth's proof.
Categories:
sneezed, anti bullying, power, silly,
Form:
Rhyme
Covid-19: A Silent Messenger of Lucifer!
Through the creek of the door there sneaked in a silent messenger of Lucifer,
A breathing man sneezed till the last breath, and was shrouded with chillness,
It was a soothing flame of fire choked the chamber in and out,
Rapidity was a trait of the silent messenger which breathed its force mysteriously,
And there was coughing, sneezing and spitting with rising temperature,
The stigma of Covid-19 had its recycle with its mutated psychology.
The victims succumbed to the predator’s double-bladed scalpel.
The illegitimate entry of Covid -19 into an Oriental province is an infamous history,
The silent messenger then turned to an untamable monster that devoured the ‘innocents’,
Clinical staff ran helter-skelter to fight with the devouring monster,
The malicious hunter with his hunting dog wolfed breath in minutes.
The mammoth giant in miniature form of virus wielded his weapon ‘cross the horizon,
And multiple lives were dragged thro’ the tunnel of darkness,
The malicious organisms with short span of life-expectancy breed countless generations,
And enjoy themselves with the crown of sinister leaves.
Who will chase the messenger of Lucifer and shall redeem the world?
Day in and day out chemicals and antibiotics run under microscopes,
Vaccines are tried in every corner,
But experiments and efforts seem to be a fiasco.
So Who shall chase the messenger of evil from the face of human lives?
There is One Who made man and creations,
So, let’s seek His Providence to walk in His Word,
And Life on earth shall be a way unto the Life of Eternity.
Shall we all….?
,
Categories:
sneezed, evil, scary, sick, sin,
Form:
Free verse
Listen to the wind
As it ruffles through the trees.
God is blowing his breath.
When the storms come,
Could it be He sneezed?
Categories:
sneezed, humorous, tree, wind,
Form:
Rhyme
There once was a man named O'Dean
Who wasn't too bright or too keen
He sneezed at the bar
Filling everyone's jar
And, that's why our beer is now green
Categories:
sneezed, fun, funny,
Form:
Limerick