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Lord of the Flies

Harassing me for days now Landing on my eyelid Nosing up my nostril Tickling my ankles and every other exposed body part Little bastard... Fly-Swatter? Jack be nimble, Jack... Folded bath towel? (Lamp destroyed) Raid? Sprayed til I sneezed and choked and had to quickly retreat outside (I may have poisoned myself) Little bastard... Last night it buzzed me awake I injured various body parts (Bloody nose, ruptured eardrum) Little bastard... I want to murder it I want to assassinate it but I want to capture it first pull off it’s puny little wings and watch it scramble on the floor all the while crawling behind laughing, shouting and jeering 'How you like THEM apple peelings?' before I jump to the ceiling (Boink) before I stomp and then grind in a mad and homicidal rage Little bastard... Epilogue: Whew! I’m feeling pretty okay now The medication helps immeasurably I know now why they’re called Asylums They are refuge from a brutal environment a world dominated and controlled by---Bssst!! Little BASTARD...

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 7/30/2016 8:48:00 PM
Tim R.,, Congratulations on your win. Thank you for supporting my contest --- 101 in a row. :) Stop by my blog "They Hang Horses, Don't They?" if you'd like. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
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Date: 9/10/2015 7:53:00 AM
Tim, you had me in stitches with this one. There have been SO many flies around this year - I must have swatted about 20 of them the other night. For some reason, I have more success in killing them mid-air - kind of like a twisted game of badminton. (I love the repeated "little bastard" throughout... so true!)
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Date: 8/18/2015 5:54:00 AM
Tim.. I loved reading these creative and often humorous works of annoyance and yours was fantastic, congrats on your Big Win!
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Date: 8/13/2015 2:49:00 PM
Awesome work !! No wonder it is in the winners’ list. Congrats..Sara
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Date: 8/10/2015 4:23:00 PM
I love it! Great! Flies are SMART. They can just tell when I'm going after the swatter. Janice
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Date: 8/10/2015 12:52:00 AM
Congrats on ur awesome winning poem Tim! Real annoying flies, witty work!
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Date: 8/9/2015 9:28:00 PM
Lord of the Flies - indeed! I too, have had my share of annoyance this summer so I can relate to this. Tim, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this clever piece! You had me in stitches laughing out loud all day every time I re-read this super witty write! It is so deserving of its top placement! Congratulations, my friend! Pandita
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Date: 8/9/2015 5:25:00 PM
How did I ever miss THIS one, Tim?? this is awesome!! You are at your funniest writing about something like this. Congrats to you, my friend.
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Date: 8/9/2015 7:58:00 AM
AH, Tim, best two outta three with a "skeeter"....can drive you nuts....Congarts on the win, great take on the theme
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Date: 8/9/2015 5:53:00 AM
Hahaha! So clever and comical - and TRUE, the little bastards! Congrats on your win Tim. xoxo
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Date: 8/8/2015 9:54:00 PM
Hi Tim, lol, you pulled this one off pretty good. Congrats in Mary's contest. **SKAT**
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Date: 8/8/2015 8:44:00 PM
Great write, Tim
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Date: 8/8/2015 7:21:00 PM
Dropping back with my congrats loved the humour here:-) hugs Jan xx
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Date: 7/21/2015 1:17:00 PM
I love the amusing tale, Tim. It's all the more enjoyable, because I too, hate the little Bastards, and go a bit crazy until they are dead and gone. Didn't break the lamp, but destroyed its shade..lol Bug zappers, that's what we need. Fry the suckers and hear them sizzle. Great one that goes to my Faves.
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Date: 7/17/2015 12:00:00 PM
You make me laugh at myself !! This is me, only it is a pesky mosquito......especially if it attacks after the lights go out, and I am trying to go to sleep !!! (the little bastards !!! lol !!!) Do you suppose that God created these little devils just to keep us occupied !!!?
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Date: 7/16/2015 3:16:00 PM
I can just see it!!!! lol!!!!! I have been there and totally understand where you are coming from. Thanks Tim, for giving me a good laugh. I needed one. Your friend, Elaine
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Date: 7/16/2015 3:16:00 PM
Did I mention...the title is genius!!!! Elaine
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Date: 7/7/2015 11:33:00 AM
guess they can be such an annoyance those pesky flies - love the humour here:-) hugs jan xx7
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