Best Risque Poems

              they closed the brothel
                  to open a bakery 
     ...

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Loo humour it is my forte
Risqué rhymes, I’ll write night and day 
I’ve finished next book
Will you dare to look
It’s naughty – that’s all I will say!
...

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Away with the fairies
No sense in my head
“Just feathers and sawdust,”
or so my mum said

With vacant expression
I stared into space
She said, “I won’t do much
For the human race.”

I told her, “I’m thinking.”
She said, “About what!”
And I said, “Your sister,
Aunt Maisie is HOT!”

I think I’m in...

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Women battling the bulge is no surprise
Being looked at on the beach; the ultimate prize
   And when the battle they win
   It causes a grin
To notice a different bulge in the men's levis....

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but being a man
she missed the damn can
and her rattled john...

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The redness that caused me agitation;
being cancerous was an aberration.
A letter stated it’s lipstick,
that smudged on my dipstick,
so deeply regret my amputation....

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crimson stilettos
mini skirt, fishnet stockings
 fantasy attire...

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New farmer whose first name is Guy
Confesses he's using AI
His cows are sans bulls
But for lassies he pulls
He uses his todger - AYE AYE!...

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If only I could 
I totally would. 
To love to feel 
To die embracing. 

That everlasting emotion
Lurking deep in the ocean. 
Burning like lava
Exploding from inside. 

Electrocuted by your stare
Teasing me with a dare. 
Awakened salacious images
Running naked through my head.

Seize me with longing ...

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The subway steams in August heat.
At 3 A.M. a lover’s tryst.
Alone at last two in one seat.
The subway steams in August heat.
Their limbs entwine and hips entreat.
He strokes her hair and steals a kiss.
The subway steams in August heat.
At 3 A.M. a lover’s tryst....

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where I’m sore and hurty.

The moral of my story?
To avoid a fate as gory,
flirt with gals a bit more whore-y!



Mating Calls
by...

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useless she goaded 
                  his libido eroded 
                 feeling outmoded 
 ...

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Even in the saddest parts of her, she glowed.
She was standing still at a crossroad.
No one understood who she was at heart.
Her madness pulled her and others apart.

She was standing still at a crossroad.
A grin was something she always showed.
Her madness pulled her and others...

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Our dearest Betty White, whose credits are long
Her sharp wit was always like a risque' song
She warmed our hearts every step of the way.
Her final bow, we wish she could have stayed.

January 8, 2022...

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Merriment winds dapple bouncing
  gleeful spots of energetic play
     when they joy lift her thru
         childhood perfumed leaves of yesterday.

            ...

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