Best Pete Poems
Prospector Pete had roamed the hills fer years searchin' fer gold!
He and his faithful burro, Fred, were both growin' weary and old.
He'd looked fer color in many a mountain and stream in Colorado,
Lookin' fer that mother lode, that elusive vein, his own El Dorado!
Oh, he'd found a few nuggets here and there, but didn't amount to much.
Those he did find he'd blown on gamblin', women, whiskey and such!
Pete would save a bag of dust or two from his many wanton toots,
To grubstake himself to re-supply his picks, jeans, shovels and boots.
He staked his claims along ripplin' streams and left many holes along the way.
The mountains and valleys are pocked with his many diggin's to this very day!
He'd come up dry, nothin' there, and move on to more appealin' pickin's,
Burrowin' and pannin' with elbows flyin' workin' like the dickens!
Pete would winter in his cabin 'til spring then he'd begin his annual quest,
Packin' his tools on long-sufferin' Fred and headin' fer the hills to the west.
If he didn't find that elusive bonanza this year he swore that he would retire,
To his ramshackle cabin at the foot of Mount Pisgah and enjoy the blazin' fire!
Years passed and Prospector Pete wasn't seen 'round town much anymore.
One wintry day his friends found him froze to death upon his cabin floor!
They dug Prospector Pete's grave and buried him outside his cabin door.
Eureka! Six feet down was that vein of gold that he'd been a-lookin' for!
Peg-Leg Pete the Pirate was a very evil man,
He used to eat his dinner from a filthy frying pan,
And when he’s finished eating he’d play “catch me if you can”
With his desperado first-mate known as Dirty Deadeye Dan.
Now Dan was quite a ladies man, but also fond of booze,
In bars and streets and hotels he liked to drink and cruise,
He used to taunt old-Peg Leg Pete by dragging up old news,
Like Pete had only ever needed half a pair of shoes.
One day Pete had quite enough and things got pretty scary,
Confronting Dirty Deadeye Dan whose mood was always lairy,
A sudden hush fell on the room when Pete clumped in the bar
And Dan called out: “Hey, Peg-Leg, hop on over, have a jar.”
Peg-Leg Pete the Pirate clasped the pistol on his hip
And snarled at Dirty Deadeye Dan: “Enough of your damn lip.”
The floozy sat upon Dan’s lap was dumped onto the floor
And Dan rose to his feet and hissed: “You’d best limp out the door.”
Across the sawdust, blood-stained floor they faced each other down,
And you could hear a pin drop from the other side of town,
Eyes were locked and fingers twitched and seconds seemed like days
The tension burned unbearably and shimmered in the haze.
Both men drew their pistols and both men fired fast,
Flame spat from the barrels with the bullets roaring past,
But neither man could aim for squat and when their guns were done
They’d killed two people in the bar but they weren’t either one.
The barman Blind-man Billy Bragg and the floozy Scar-Faced Sue
Lay dead as dead as doornails, as doornails tend to do,
And through the pall of gun-smoke and the mist of rum and beer
Deadeye Dan called out to Pete: “We’d best get out of here.”
And so they did, they fled the bar, and vanished in the night,
Back to their ship, The Crippled Cock, and sailed on out of sight,
Never to return to shore, and never seen again,
The rumour is they sank and drowned just off the Spanish Main.
The moral of the story is that when you draw a gun,
Be prepared to end your days always on the run,
“Or in your case, always on the limp,” said Dirty Deadeye Dan
To Peg-Leg Pete the Pirate, that very evil man.
Prospector Pete had roamed the hills fer years searchin' fer some gold.
He and his faithful burro, Fred, were both growin' weary and old.
He'd looked fer color in many a mountain and stream in Colorado,
Lookin' fer that mother lode, that elusive vein, his own El Dorado.
Oh, he'd found a few nuggets here and there, but didn't 'mount to much.
Those he did find he'd blown on gamblin', women, whiskey and such.
Pete would save a bag of dust or two from his many wanton toots,
To grubstake himself to re-supply his jeans, shovels and boots.
He staked claims 'long ripplin' streams and left many holes 'long the way.
The mountains and valleys are pocked with his diggin's to this very day!
He'd come up dry, nothin' there and move on to more appealin' pickin's,
Burrowin' and pannin' with elbows flyin' workin' like the dickens!
Pete would winter in his cabin 'til spring then he'd begin his annual quest,
Packin' his tools on long-sufferin' Fred and head fer the hills to the west.
If he didn't find that elusive bonanza this year he swore that he'd retire,
To his cabin at the foot of Mount Pisgah and enjoy the blazin' fire.
Time passed and Pete wasn't seen 'round town much anymore.
On a wintry day his pals found him froze to death upon his cabin floor!
They dug Pete's grave and buried him just outside his cabin door.
Eureka! Six feet down was that vein of gold that he'd been a-lookin' for!
Johnny Pete and Jolly Pete
Their marriage arranged in heaven,
Come sit here on the catbird seat.
Their marriage is number seven.
Johnny Pete never looked so good.
Jolly was a gorgeous summer bride.
Ceremony was everything it could be.
Witnesses all on Jolly’s side.
Johnny dragged in a street guy
To stand up with him that day.
Jolly got a tear in her eye
And he soon whisked her right away.
Jolly and Johnny had six little ones.
Juicy, Jimmy, Juanita, Johnny, Junior and Jay.
Two girls and four boys all born in the sun.
They were a handful, but fun in every way.
Fluffy slippers on my feet.
Warmth like this just can’t be beat.
Sitting with my dog, a summer treat.
I am enjoying a little sweet.
Today there is so little heat.
Rain up and down each lane and street.
Went to a store called Dollar Neat.
Got a little bologna meat.
Not so hard to ignore my sister’s tweet.
She wanted for us to arrange a meet.
I told her that although she is elite,
Sitting home with dog just can’t be beat!
She would never understand my well said bleat
Because a dog to her has never been sweet.
She claims a good doggy she will never meet.
She needs some fluffy slippers and a dog like Pete.
There once was a lanky cowpoke named Pete,
Who, when he walked got tangled in his feet!
He'd spent years ridin' his horse,
Becomin' bow-legged, of course!
Looked like a pair of pliers pacin' the street!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
All Rights Reserved
A fellow by the name of Ole Pistol Pete
Once had this real special technique
He just had to think
His eyes he would blink
Ladies would follow Pistol Pete like sheep
© Jack Ellison 2013
Pugnacious Pete was his Pseudonym
Pete Plied Pugilism in the gym
Though Pete Prayed to Phix his Plight
Poor Pete seldom won a Phight
Pete's Phighting career was looking grim!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
A shootout took place on a Texas street
Cowboy Luke, the rancher and horse thief, Pete
Sun was high overhead
Noon, a body lay dead
Pete's blood staining the dirt red in the heat
May 2, 2022
High Noon Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Joseph May
“Aye, me maties, ‘tis a stormy sea dis day
Shiver me timbers, let’s make way for da bay”
But as Peg Leg Pete slowly turned ’is ship ‘round
A great beauty on da rocks was t' be found
“We’ll save ye, lassie,” 'e cried t' da girl
Once rescued, 'e took ‘er below fer a whirl
Crew listened as Pete’s peg on da ship’s hull beat
All steamed ‘twas da cabin, a-swirl in da heat
“Argh, men, let’s show ‘im,” grunted one jealous mate
Months asea dey’d sailed wit nary one date
So when Pete thumped ‘is way back t' da deck
'e found himself aboard a sinking wreck
“Blasted mutiny,” Pete screamed, den caught sight
O' da rum-soaked crew a-rowin’ in dim light
Aboard thar rowboat ‘twas Pete’s prized treasure chest
‘is ire was raised, as ye might 'ave guessed
Seeing Polly Parrot had left da ship too
‘Tis a lesson in dis, a sad one but true
Pirates who choose t' make love t' a beauty
Oft’ find thar mates abscond wit thar looty
FREEDOM SONG
Do you know the path to freedom,
do you know the road to peace,
do you know the value of truth and wisdom -
let’s bind our hands across the land.
Do you know how to love your brother,
do you know how to understand,
do you realize that you live only once -
let’s fill the world with love and joy.
The world is in a state of sorrow,
poverty, wars and hate abound;
let us stop all of these philosophizing,
let’s sing the song of peace instead.
The world is in a state of sorrow,
poverty, wars and hate abound;
let us stop all of these philosophizing,
let’s sing the song of peace instead.
(Dedicated to Pete Seeger)
Fields and fields of corn on the cob
As far as the eye can see
Sweet little niblets of yellow perfection
Tempting little old me
Must admit to this addiction of mine
Coz hiding it makes no sense
My skin has taken on a bright yellow hue
“Corny” jokes I always dispense
For breakfast, lunch and even dinner
It's corn, and corn, and more corn
Thinking of joining “Niblets Anonymous”
Been addicted since I was born
Cute as a button sitting in my highchair
Corn mush all over my face
No telling if I was animal or vegetable
You couldn't even tell my race
Mom cleaned me up and there I was
Just as sweet as I could be
Mom called me her “Little Corn Niblet”
To my friends, I was “Cornpoke Pete”!
l
was
just small
with black hair
visiting grandma
and her budgie bird Pete, who flew
and would land on my head and poop and I would yell loud,
running and screaming, you stinky bird don't go on my shiny hair but he always did
one
day
he flew
after me
into the bathroom
because I really had to go
and he fell into the toilet with a big fat splash,
I laughed saying to grandma, Pete has finally figured out where he should be going
____________________________
July 26, 2015
Poetry/Fibonacci/budgie "Pete" needs to go
Copyright Protected, ID 15-694-799-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Everyone Poops,
sponsor, Roy Jerben
Third Place
We look both the same how could this be
Two peas in a pod that's you and me
When we were babies we both dressed the same
The only thing different I suppose was our name.
I was called Pete and you was called Paul
Time went so fast we grew very tall
We're much older now but still look the same
Two peas in a pod with a different name.
I remember one day when Paul was at school
He did something wrong he broke the school rule
The next day came but Pete got the blame
Two peas in a pod they both look the same.
Paul had a girlfriend she was so very nice
But when she saw Pete she had to look twice
She said Pete are you Paul, he thought and said yes
She gave him a kiss so he had to confess.
I'm sorry Pete said I think your confused
I'm not really Paul, she wasn't amused
You're like two peas in a pod you both look the same
Who am I dating I'm going insane.
Written for Nathan's contest
He thought about her for many seconds
All those moments she never left his mind
He was surprised when she said she loved him
For him to love her he'd have to be blind
For Sara Kendrick's Contest