Best Mad As A Hatter Poems
Alice in Wonderland
Was my favorite book as a kid
I used to pretend that I was Alice
Having tea with the Mad Hatter
And the March Hare
But now I pretend that I am the Mad Hatter
For my mind is unhinging itself
Breaking away from reality
Till I can no longer recall
What is real and what is a dream
My emotions often get the best of me
But I have learned to smother them
But sometimes like a pot on the stove
It boils over and out
And I can't contain it
My mind is and becomes a freight train
Ramming itself against my skull
At 8, 11, at 1 in the morning
It is constantly running
And it never stops
I can't tell anyone about this
They'll think I'm insane
But what can I say
My mind is my own Wonderland
And I am but just the Mad Hatter
Am I really that useless?
That may not be the case
I am just another person
Within the human race
Everyone has problems
This i know is fact
Its how i deal with them they say
In other words, how do I react
Some people’s brains work differently
This I know to be true
The problems that some people have
May not affect me and you
To some normal stresses can be hard
They can see their way through
But to others with severe issues
These stresses cannot do
When the mind is struggling so much
You cannot see the way
Ideas bounce around your head
You can’t hear what others say
No one has the answers
The mind is so complex
The smallest things will fester
In the mind’s deepest depths
Low self esteem will set in
Negative thoughts do begin
Try to increase your self-belief
As if you don’t it will cause grief
Some people can see the light
Where others just sit in fright
Others always see positive
Where some just don’t want to live
A friend colleague a partner can listen
So shout out to achieve this mission
It’s not the easiest thing to do
Once it’s done you won’t feel so blue
It’s easy for others to just say
Get a grip be on your way
What you need is a listening ear
Fill your life with positive cheer
So if you’re struggling and cannot see
Your not alone shout out too me
I’m no professional in this matter
As you are not mad as a hatter
I will listen to your worries and woes
Watch your movement from head to toe
As this will help me see what is wrong
Give you the answer that you belong
You deserve to let your mind be free
Give people a chance and you will see
Let them help you through your strife
You can then begin to live your life
There was a young feline named Jackson,
Who wanted a piece of the action.
While hunting for rats, Jack
Got into a spat, with a strange little
Creature known to us as a bat.
This then is the fact of the matter.
The bat proved as 'mad as a hatter'.
And it paid with it's life,
Causing Jackson much strife:
Bad luck for the poor little ratter.
They arrested the cat in a hurry
And woe to this poor furry purry.
Without even a trial, he was put on 'The Mile'
Where his life became drab and quite dreary.
Jack's been sitting there day after day,
Quite bored and just pining away.
While dreaming of mousies and birds on the wing,
Of hair balls and catnip and such kitty things.
"How long, oh how long must I pay?
Please won't someone just whisk me away?
Back to my home where a kitty can roam
And stay out-of-doors all live, long day."
The end of this tale I hope tell,
Will find Jack finally leaving his cell,
To be welcomed back home, once again
Free to roam, older and wiser and well.
"No more bats for this cat", Jackson moans.
And it seems that he's learned on his own:
It's far better than not, to keep up with ones shots,
Than call three feet of jail space your home!
© 2015 Diane Lefebvre
aimless and blind
I wasted my youth
left friendship behind
in search of the truth
no wiser but sadder
ah,but that never mattered
'cause then I met you
I did my hitch
sowed my wild oats
I burned all my bridges
and sunk all my boats
while the rats had all scattered
ah,but none of that mattered
'cause then I met you
yeah when I met you
you pulled me through
you gave me a clue
when I so didn't know what to do
blitzed on the booze
fresh out of hope
I had nothing to lose
at the end of my rope
I was mad as a hatter
the fact of the matter-
but then I met you
yeah then I met you
and then I met you!
Aesop, Fables 533 (from Babrius 70) (trans. Gibbs) (Greek fable C6th B.C.) :
"The gods were getting married. One after another, they all got hitched, until finally it
was time for Polemos (War) to draw his lot, the last of the bachelors. Hybris (Reckless
Pride) became his wife, since she was the only one left without a husband. They say
Polemos loved Hybris with such abandon that he still follows her everywhere she goes. So
do not ever allow Hybris to come upon the nations or cities of mankind, smiling fondly at
the crowds, because Polemos (War) will be coming right behind her."
You are my enemy! I hate your guts!
Why, you ask? My government said I should.
"For what reasons for your loathing me?" What's
the justification? - The common good!
"Should I reciprocate?" Doesn't matter!
My government said that you are a threat.
"Your leaders are as 'mad as a hatter'
and shouldn't attempt folly they'll regret."
Preemptive measures are in store for you
and there's nothing -Nada! to prevent it.
"Arrogance has a price, this is our view.
And you're overbearing prides and conceit
will cost your country misery and dead.
This, foe, is what my government has said."
insipired by Alice In Wonderland
Tell me how did I get myself stuck in this dream
A dream I dream every night it seems
And every night is as strange as before.
Have I possibly gone mad?
This must be a dream
It is impossible for animals to talk
For cats to smile
And mice to walk.
I must have gone bonkers!
Oh dear, this is so confusing
Oh how could this be?
Everything is after me
Everyone is chasing me
Oh but wait this is all just a dream.
Everyone here is has simply gone daffy!
Oh look who’s this
This place of wonder has a queen
Oh dear, oh my
She is very mean
She’s feared rather than loved
Face burning blood red
As she’s screaming
“Off with his head”.
Now she is most defiantly mad.
Oh no, not good
The queen is after me
But why
Why now could this be
What did I do
What can I do
To stop her from beheading me?
Oh yes that’s it
I’ll twist the tables ‘round
And now
There’s no place for her to run
Oh it seems I have won
Her time as queen is done
Even her own army is gone.
But oh, I can’t
Not even this life I can end
But alone the rest of her life shell spend
Banished without a friend.
That would drive any person mad.
I have learned through this peculiar journey
To believe the impossible
Open up your mind
Open your heart as well
And soon you’ll find
Animals talking
Roses painted red
Careful now
Try not to loose your head
So dream your dreams
Wish upon a star
I may be mad as a hatter
But hey
The best people are.
In spite of my advancing years
One thing always remains consistent
My joy for life, love and happiness
The blues are almost nonexistent
Why was I chosen to be this lucky soul
With this devil-may-care attitude
While others can't seem to catch a break
Every day they're screwed and tattooed
Is it just the luck of the draw
Do we really have a say in the matter
You can surely bet your sweet bippy we do
Betcha think I'm mad as a hatter
Where did that silly old saying originate
What is a mad hatter anyway
Must be from the dark ages methinks
Don't hear of those guys nowadays
Okay, seems I've drifted a bit off the track
To get back to my love of life
Guess I'll just let the good times roll
“Jump up and yell, “life's a blast!”
Why yes, I dated Taylor Swift
And no, she didn't write a song on it
I'm not quite sure what that means
Unless it is she still likes me
That might be the explanation why
I catch her out of the corner of my eye
It makes perfect sense now I believe
That Taylor Swift is stalking me
When she found out that I like to rock
She went straight from Country into Pop
Any country bumpkin can plainly see
That Taylor still has eyes for me
When I'm out shopping at the Grocery store
And I catch her sneaking down isle 4
Taylor girl you can't fool me
Your not only here for the Pickled Beets
The other day my car dinged low on fuel
So I pulled in for Petro and to check the oil
You'll never guess who's pumping gas
Do you really even need to ask
And when it is I'm home alone
There's that ring of the late night call
With heavy breathing on the end of the phone
To the tune of Shake It Off
I'm a bit more worried than I am flattered
She seems these days Mad as a Hatter
Who after all this would not believe
That Taylor Swift is stalking me
The mountain looks across a sea gazing
as it crawls beholding living waves move amazing Grace
echoing gull's lament falls upon deaf ears
silence freezes over iced laced as they that breathe out
from salted whispers footprints scream injustice
Nurtured with the twilight covers ebony
dressed in sparkling silver starlight
where perfection has been misplaced
At the gate without hope as seen for it's strong virtues
realities shadows quickly reaches the summit
consumed far fetched mad as a hatter hounds of words
spell disaster smoking guns disadvantaged creation
This planet has lost the plot completely
with dishonest crooks filled with mercury heavy lead
back to front doses evolve helpless beings
small measures begins poisoning the weak minded fools
In those whom use the upside down Bible
for no good cause stumbling at the hurdles chariots on fire
spoken of at the burning bush our ten laws etched on stone
take your heathen temple out of our land
Many years ago my partner gave me an unexpected birthday surprise,
A trip to Lake Windermere, the beauty of it there’s no compromise.
The hotel where we stayed was right on the edge of the lake,
A perfect location for a peaceful and relaxing break.
On the first evening we went into the hotel bar and brasserie,
We looked through the menu to decide what to have for tea.
As we sat having our drinks, another couple I observed,
The loudness of the woman’s voice was really quite absurd.
I tried to ignore the opinionated tone of her voice,
Hoped our food would soon be ready to get away from the noise.
I suddenly realised she was staring across the room at me,
What was her problem and what she was hoping to see?
I stared right back at her then my attention was pulled away,
Our table was ready, pleased near her I didn’t have to stay.
The meal passed by with laughter and lots of pleasant chatter,
Forgotten was the woman who’d seemed as mad as a hatter.
As we walked down the hallway to go back to our room,
The woman was staring at me again which really made me fume.
She watched every single step as we walked on by,
I was so annoyed with her; I looked her straight in the eye.
We continued to walk and turned into the customer lift,
I looked right at the ignorant woman and raised up my fist.
To my partner’s surprise I then gave her a two fingered gesture,
An old lady in the adjoining restaurant saw and nearly lost her denture.
Choking and red faced, she pointed her finger over towards me,
Her family totally shocked, looked at me helplessly.
It’s horrible to say but at this spectacle before me, all I could do was laugh,
My partner got me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me further back.
As the lift doors shut, I turned to face him waiting for my fate,
“What am I going to do with you, you’re an absolute disgrace?”
The moral of this story is, if you’re going to give someone the bird,
Have a good look round who can see or you’ll end up being cursed.
My old cat Herman sure looks like vermin
When we douse him with a bucket of water
His teeth start to chatter, gets mad as a hatter
His master, he'd sure like to slaughter!
With unearthly growls, slinks round on the prowl
For a spot to get back his lost dignity
Under the couch he retreats like a grouch
We crack up in a mood of frivolity!
One day we'll pay for this game that we play
Herman's gonna rip away at our flesh
With an unearthly meow, like a demon from hell
He'll pounce - his dignity refreshed!
So here's what I learned bout the time I got burned
By this human-like piece of machinery
We've now learned a truth, Herm does rule the roost
He's responsible for a change in the scenery!
© Jack Ellison 2012
The birds had returned some time ago,
From whence it happened my love did flow.
Cupid's bow had long-since retired,
And Summer's warmth bequeathed no desires.
Bitter days stretched on without Nightingale tune;
Days I remembered to search for you
Bore clement tedium in conjunction with blues.
If you were the saint, I was made your shoes.
Always close, always warm, as Winter did we forlorn.
This mountain sings of freedom and the trees lean in to whisper;
Tell me as Summer drew near,
Neither did I grow cold without you,
Nor become mad as a hatter,
As you were lead in the brim of fashionable leather,
All things fall out of fashion, no matter the weather.
This day Fall arrived prematurely,
And the Winter posthumously forbade,
But nothing could change this reversal
Of Winter closeness falling into Summer's tepid rehearsal.
The weather called for a change of intimacy
For our combined heat, I cannot bear
The sun's bitter rays wreath the world in red hues,
I need a new hat to return me to my habitual blues.
We're all mad in the end,
No matter which end we choose.
In spite of the way I was doomed in the past
I might have resumed all my duties at last
The ship captain's daughter who killed for a lark
Was tossed overboard in the path of a shark
The captain himself made a pitch in the punch
For helping the witch who was having my lunch
The bulk of the pirates were sure I was dead
The captain was second-in-line to be fed
I learned of his fate from an old pirate mate
A scurvy old sailor who thought I was great
A stable companion when we were at sea
Who seemed rather stunned by the image of me
He thought I returned as a spirit or ghost
Or maybe the wrath of a watery host
The image of someone who died for the harm
Of hurting the lady who fell for his charm
He cried like a baby to learn I was real
And not merely someone who died as a meal
The friend that he knew by the fact I was kind
A gentleman pirate with nothing in mind
The captain was dead, so he offered himself
To serve in his stead from the top of the shelf
The pirates were pleased so they voted him in
To serve by the curve of his broad, toothy grin
I asked my old friend if the couple they tried
Were found to be fit or just fit to be tied
He told me the captain was mad as a hatter
And even his daughter was no laughing matter
The lady was grinning when you made a splash
She said that you died when they took out the trash
We stared at each other and said this can't be
That pirates and shipmates should die stupidly
The captain was drunk when he made his mistake
But when you are sunk there is no second take
He plead for his life and he plead for his daughter
We fed them on board and we fed them in water
When learning of late that my captain was dead
I turned from my mate and I lowered my head
The man was reduced by the last of his brood
But no one alive should be treated as food
I knew that my life as a pirate was done
When I was a fool in the course of my fun
The future of pirates on land may be dim
But even a pirate should know how to swim
So many brave pirates who plunder in wigs
Are trading the sea for a cow and some pigs
My life as a pirate is what I love best
But even a pirate must bury his chest...
I met a guy in the dairy section of my local grocery store
He was carrying an over-the-shoulder, leather purse
He had a purple scarf around his neck, what could be worse?
The fellow was driving a great big, black funeral hearse!
A buxom young lady was shopping in the produce aisles
I could have sworn she had had extensive lipo-suction
Her enormous biceps were a work under construction
She had three children with her, an obvious deduction.
I moved on to the meat department and stood watching
An old lady maneuvering an enormous motorized grip
Ordered a butcher to cut her a three-pound New York strip
While she was waiting she did a perfect backward, reverse flip.
Tell me, before I go stark raving, mad-as-a-hatter crazy
I am jumping too quickly to unwarranted conclusions
That after what I saw I should immediately go into seclusion
It only seems that way; clearly, I am victim of my own delusions.
Written March 18, 2021
Submitted to Kai Michael Neumann’s
“It Only Seems That Way” contest
>I started writing as therapy. I had had two massive operations, which I won't bore you with here, (see a Patient from Papworth on the Internet Publishing Site Feedaread,) writing was like a bug to me, it really gripped me. Some thought I was unhinged, as had never written before, but a visit to a specialist doctor proved i was as sane as you. Which could be said to be as Mad as a Hatter. Apologies to Alice in Wonderland of course. This poem, was a little poem about my writing.
I have sneezed once, no make that twice.
I should not, it sounds not right.
I never sneeze in the night.
But as day dawned, I did twice.
Is it a man cold on the way?
I do hope not, as it's the day.
I've lots to do, as I write.
Stories both by day and night.
Sometimes I write the night away.
As cannot sleep at night I say.
Words spill swiftly from my pen.
Like this , I'm writing now, not then.
I cannot stop, can you not see.
A writing bug, is inside me.
And when it stops, what should I do?
If there is no prose, as now I do.
Vegetate, just sit still,
thinking am I really ill.
Come on pen, write away.
Soon be night, or is it day.
Please forgive my unusual style of talking my way not only before my poems, but sometimes during and after.I do it everywhere. Stanley (The mad Author)<