Look Before You Gesture - a True Story
Many years ago my partner gave me an unexpected birthday surprise,
A trip to Lake Windermere, the beauty of it there’s no compromise.
The hotel where we stayed was right on the edge of the lake,
A perfect location for a peaceful and relaxing break.
On the first evening we went into the hotel bar and brasserie,
We looked through the menu to decide what to have for tea.
As we sat having our drinks, another couple I observed,
The loudness of the woman’s voice was really quite absurd.
I tried to ignore the opinionated tone of her voice,
Hoped our food would soon be ready to get away from the noise.
I suddenly realised she was staring across the room at me,
What was her problem and what she was hoping to see?
I stared right back at her then my attention was pulled away,
Our table was ready, pleased near her I didn’t have to stay.
The meal passed by with laughter and lots of pleasant chatter,
Forgotten was the woman who’d seemed as mad as a hatter.
As we walked down the hallway to go back to our room,
The woman was staring at me again which really made me fume.
She watched every single step as we walked on by,
I was so annoyed with her; I looked her straight in the eye.
We continued to walk and turned into the customer lift,
I looked right at the ignorant woman and raised up my fist.
To my partner’s surprise I then gave her a two fingered gesture,
An old lady in the adjoining restaurant saw and nearly lost her denture.
Choking and red faced, she pointed her finger over towards me,
Her family totally shocked, looked at me helplessly.
It’s horrible to say but at this spectacle before me, all I could do was laugh,
My partner got me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me further back.
As the lift doors shut, I turned to face him waiting for my fate,
“What am I going to do with you, you’re an absolute disgrace?”
The moral of this story is, if you’re going to give someone the bird,
Have a good look round who can see or you’ll end up being cursed.
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