Best Keeled Poems
I was taking a nap
And some old chap
Closed the coffin as he heard angels sing
Knock knock who's there
It's me! I'm not dead
Now open the damn lid to this thing
He fell to his knees
Took off his cap
And uttered a few words for my soul
I was banging and shouting
Freaking him out
He was fast losing total control
I managed somehow
To break open the lid
And sat up and glared at this chap
By now he was babbling
In a strange foreign language
Running around eating his cap
Leaped down to the floor
Dusted myself off
Got ready to get on with my day
Heard him gurgle
His face turning purple
He keeled over dead and I prayed
So I picked up this chap
Lifted him into the coffin
And closed the lid once again
But now it was me
Who heard banging inside
Must be a serious glitch in my brain
Knock knock who's there
It's me! I'm not dead
Now open the damn lid and you'll see
The words that I heard
As I got on my horse
And galloped away from the scene
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
keeled, humorous,
Form:
Quatrain
Encased in ice and frozen
So the world could not break through,
The beating of my bitter heart
Soon faint and thoughtless grew,
And from this frigid, frosty state
A life of snow was born,
So followed through my days was I
By my defence's spawn,
This snowman bore down on me,
Soon becoming my excuse
To withdraw from society,
A self-confessed recluse,
Every day I'd see him there and
He would stand in front of me,
A reminder of my shame and
Self-inflicted misery,
Nobody new could I let in
When chances came about,
For the snowman blocked their entrance
And forever shut them out,
So this fashion continued and
The years passed in a haze,
I was convinced this chill would stay
To curse me for all my days.
Then one day I saw the sunlight
Through the bolted window pane;
Suddenly I heard a cracking sound
And I was once more sane.
Gasping, I clasped my icy heart
Which had begun to thaw
And I collapsed, my mind starting to spin
Before emotions rushed to outpour,
Then the snowman's fury caught me
But I had now begun to weep
And the creature howled and fell,
Keeled over into a heap,
So hot tears came running forth
As I let them fall, and knelt
Over my silent snowman
Who gradually began to melt.
On and on I cried until at last
I had no more tears,
So I stood up and waded out of
The pool of all my fears.
As time went by the pool grew smaller
Until the water cleared,
Then my heart was warm as all
The frozen fright had disappeared.
Now my door is always open
To the good times and the bad,
And my heart holds no more frost or snow
For a creature to be clad.
Categories:
keeled, angst, depression, hope, imagination,
Form:
Rhyme
I get up early, a rancher with chores
Hay grows in fields, animals shuffle, roars
Dawn breaks its steel grey grip on my land
And I, well, I have a clear bottle clutched in hand
The first swipe, the one that burns the most
Clears the head, lifts the fog, begins my dose
Work ahead, hours on the grind
A key in my hand, the tractor is mine
Muddy boots climb my ass to my seat
Prepared I am, for this summer heat
A seperate, full bottle in pocket, the engine is turned
Key to the right, another throat tickle burned
Through the gate on into field I find my day anew
View as of now, not quite so askew
The rows start straight, a farmers simple task
They soon grow crooked, I can't find my flask
Fuel runs low, a hassle to refill
Inebriated I find it easy to spill
Unwiser still, I light up a smoke
Finding my way, to field with a toke
Stoned and drunk I arrive at my field
I'll try it again, a little more even keeled
A drunken chuckle to nobody in sight
What a great poem, another forgotten to write
A vision of an old boss, his hatred of me
I laugh, again, to no person I see
He works all day at his nine to five
And I'm drunk on my tractor, happy alive
Categories:
keeled, farm, funny, humor, life,
Form:
Rhyme
The lane leading into the alley was lined with weeds
False intentions masked by good deeds
The end of the chosen route turned out to be dead
Too many conversations for one man's head
So he began snapping at friendly fingers
From the corner he had backed himself in
Lies falling from his mouth with every drop of the chin
I bent so far back that my blades touched the ground
Then you stepped on my belly and jumped up and down
One thousand times you could of broke my back
But my heart may never heal from your malicious attack
You wielded my graciousness against me in battle and won
The battlefield before you lay barren
Clinching your weapon there were no signs of spoil from this war
You began to wonder what exactly it was you were fighting for
Now that everything has fallen silent and your head starts doing the math
A lonely existence results from an over cleared path
Standing alone on your island with every bridge burnt
Will the pain from your decisions be your lessons learnt
You board a small craft that is solely equipped with a grinding wheel
Never knowing what it is to to be even keeled
Did all this come to fruition just yesterday
Or have you always been slowly drifting away
The name of your boat reads sociopath
As you grind your axes with a wayward laugh
Categories:
keeled, betrayal, emotions, goodbye, leaving,
Form:
Rhyme
Sewing machine, long idle, gathers dust
Its graceful frame a filigree of rust
Needle, naked pointing to its resting place
A symbol of the toll all life will take
Sunshine streams surreal through silent space
Past the broken stone that was a window case
Beams of sunlight scatter wildly in their blame
Illuminating memories of pain
Love's last hallowed hiding place reviled
Beneath the jagged glass where once they keeled
To ask a witless god for sacred grace
And pray for revocation from this place
The battles ended long ago with no peace won
Lifeless soldiers buried neatly in the sun
Stars and crosses left to mark the empty space
Where lust consumed the last of love's embrace
Daylight sinks below the hollow gloom
Of lonesome darkness strewn across this room
The war years seemed like only yesterday
When history played out its terse cliché
Spirits stalk the dead to join in sin
'Till candles sputter, spent - now dark within
The stars give up a silent last cerise
And darkness fills the emptiness with peace
written 2018.10.22
Categories:
keeled, god, love, war,
Form:
Rhyme
There once lived a woman called Lady-de Leisure, who turned not to men, but food for
pleasure.
She ate everything spicy and sticky and sweet, the poor lady could not even see her poor
feet. From dusk until dawn, all she would do was eat, drink, break wind, burp belch and poo.
But one day whilst eating her thirty fifth pie, the lady burped loudly, keeled over and died.
The funeral had to be held outside, but people they came to say goodbye.
The coffin itself, you’ve never seen bigger. The bearers were three forklift trucks and a
digger.
The hole in the ground was fourteen feet wide, and even then the coffin scraped at the sides.
So if you are thinking about being a lady of leisure, look elsewhere than food solely for
pleasure.
Categories:
keeled, death, food, funny, peoplefood,
Form:
Limerick
Little Ms. Mommy broke her tuffet. You know, that white porcelain thingy.
She sat down too hard and you can believe, that it broke every seam, completely.
Now snickers started about and around the house, but that’s OK… you see.
It had a crack she did claim, or so she exclaimed, or maybe two more or three.
But then again, the rumors traveled around, originating from the hardware store.
Then someone keeled over, he laughed so hard, and brought it to the news at four.
It’s one of those days, Ms. Mommy said, as she got her 15 minutes of fame.
But that’s OK; she was presented with a free, and ultra modern bidet, to claim.
Now this one will last forever and a day, since the buttons confuse her, so much.
And water can be a frightening thing, when you don’t expect it jetting, as such.
Now it became an amazing thing, as she built a private and heated, outhouse.
Anything, to get away, from the annoying thing, devouring her mind and house.
She’d never admit, how distraught she is, for fear, all the more, they would laugh.
The irony is, she’s happy again, as she blazes a path to her own little illustrious...
Outhouse….
Categories:
keeled, fantasy, funny, humor, humorous,
Form:
Light Verse
To say today has been a strange day would be an understatement. It started off this morning when I went into the den where our eldest cat, Paint, was meowing up a storm. I petted her head a few times and no joke she keeled over and died right then and there. We were kinda expecting it but damn what a way to start the day.
A few hours later I had an appointment to inspect a truck for a family and nobody speaks English except the kindergartener. I pull up to their house and this yard is a mess. Trash everywhere. I see the truck I needed to inspect parked in the yard and the cutest looking little sleeping puppy curled up next to the front tire and yep you guessed it...I go straight to ’selfie with an unsuspecting dog mode’. Here I am kneeling down trynna get the best angle for the perfect selfie and reach out to pet the pooch and this dog is cold and stiff as a rock. Just then the entire family (Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents 2nd and 3rd cousins) pours out of the front door and here I am hovered over their dog trying to explain to a bunch of people who don’t speak a lick of English that their dog is dead. Stupid me is pointing at the dog while pretending to slit my throat...the international sign for your dog is dead ????? The Mexican father reached down and pokes the dog then starts jabbering something about El Diablo and giving me the stank eye. The grandmother breaks out her rosary beads and begins saying the Lord’s Prayer and finally the English speaking preschooler comes toddling out and interprets for me....I didn’t kill your dog! I just want to get the hell out of there so I begin taking photos of the truck. Here comes the funny part. I accidentally step on either a tarter sauce or ranch dressing condiment container and produced what sounded like explosive diarrhea and spewed white looking pelican all over everybody’s pants and shoes. The toddler giggles and I just grin and keep on keepin on. Fast forward to the end of the day I’m digging a hole to bury my cat ‘paint’ and out of the ten acres we own I pick the exact same spot I buried another cat-dog-chicken or chupacabra a decade earlier and there’s bones and ribs everywhere. Anywho I feel like I need a shot of tequila or twelve.
Categories:
keeled, cat, cheer up, death,
Form:
Narrative
A beautiful word, like sex
on stick and bears no guilt,
is the sure epitome of
my blood and not of my belly
Not to omit the brevity
of its syllable, oft sounding on
my breath, I till it not only
when spring comes, but in winter too
Those who care and speak
what they think of
my epitome makes me breathe
life’s expectation easier
I supervise that it sways elegantly,
not to impress my ego, nor to roughen lives,
but to comfort palms with skin, oh like mine,
keeled by handshakes of psychotropic war
Categories:
keeled, on writing and words
Form:
Lyric
A Hybrid Dog
At first, my dog seemed normal to me
Doing the things that dogs do
Then he started signaling for turns
And stopping for red lights, too
There came a time when he wouldn’t poop
Like anyone else, he missed ‘em
A trip to the local mechanic revealed
A clogged emission system
Then whenever it started to rain
He started acting real hyper
So I took him to the auto parts store
And fit him out with a wiper
Whenever a stranger came to the door
He yapped as you’d assume
But soon he stopped his barking
And started to go ‘VROOOM”
Things went smoothly for a while
He did nothing for which I was sorry
Until I caught him at the curb
Trying to hump a Ferrari
Yesterday, he lapped up some gasoline
At the station yesterday
He ran in circles real crazy,
Then sprinted like mad away
He ran for no more than a block
Then keeled over, I feared he was dead
But no reason at all to be alarmed
He just ran out of gas instead
I love my dog without condition
No matter what it requires
He’ll always have a home with me
Until his warranty expires
Categories:
keeled, animal, children, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
she weeps in a forest clearing by a pond,
the full moon above her head turns everything silver,
her silent tears create ripples on the waters surface
her voice echos in the dead silence as she cries out
eli, eli lemi sabachthani, twice she called this out pitifully
then she keeled over as if death had washed over her
now cries and the pounding of large paws could be heard
on this faithless night of all nights, they came to the clearing
and stopped, staring at the lifeless body of the girl lying near the pond,
they became restless when the wind sent the scent of fresh blood towards
their nostrils, now they rushed forward with enormous amounts of enthusiasm
and velocity, ripping into her flesh with large claws viciously fighting over her flesh
when the wolves were finished they clambered away with full bellies leaving nothing but
some shredded blood-stained clothes, her shredded entrails, and her eyes shining in the
moonlight like two wet marbles, then came the other nocturnal monsters and decomposers
to dispose of the evidence of that dreadfully faithless night.
Categories:
keeled, death, loss, sad,
Form:
Free verse
I’m either really high up
Or really low down
Never just simply breathing
I’m either ecstatic
Or simply just tragic
Never quite really middling
It’s either blazing light
Or inky dark night
Never a morning or evening
I’m either fully alive
Or I’m living dead
Never just simply existing
I’ve a mountain top life
Or one mired in the trench
Never level ground trekking
Burning with passion
Or freezing in hurt
Never just lukewarm caring
I’m either in love
Or sizzling with hate
I’m never really just flirting
I’m Aphrodite one day
Then Medusa the next
Never just simply acting
You are either my friend
Or sworn enemy
Never just simply mingling
I’m either in heaven
Or tormented in hell
Never just purgatoring
I wish that my life
Were more even keeled
Cause this is just schizophrening
I’m either oddly insane
Or I’m sweetly inane
For a normal life I'm longing
Categories:
keeled, life, satire,
Form:
Rhyme
Pushed up from stomach's abyssmal pit
Choked off cries, constraint deformed
Packed with panic's punches
Right here where words are formed
Throat cords tightly gripped
Resistance rules my holding back
While mouth stammers mind blown shock
Fear sped thoughts fly blindly
Wild-eyed in disconnected space
Beneath pain's radar, dead-ends faced
Cant find escape through tiny slits
In self expression's cut free places
Stripped sounds,unreasoned, so distraught
I'm cramped, wrapped tight, shut up,
Curled up, gone again without a trace.
Mind flails blind at hidden threats
Going to die, my heart attacks me
Going to die, my only thoughts
Half- crazed, clownish acting out
Breathe in, breathe deep, breathe out.
Breathe in, breathe deep, breathe out...Slowly...
Breathe in, breathe deep, breathe out...Slowly...
I feel myself levelling out...Slowly...
Kindness holds keeled heart upright
Kind words rein me in, damp down fright
Caught unawares by calming help
Relief seeps through, soothing thoughts
Shifts gears back to lucid tracks,
Take it easy, take it easy, pressure's off
Life's plain sailing once again
Breath in, breathe deep, breathe out...Sigh...
03/06/2017.
Categories:
keeled, anxiety, feelings,
Form:
Alliteration
Drinking
Remember the evening before the open mic
When we went to that pizza place in the Village
And bought two beers
Wrapped in brown paper bags?
We guzzled as we
Walked city streets
Carrying our precious guitars,
Giggling like misbehaving schoolgirls
And how about that Passover
When I came to visit
And all you had in the house was Manishewitz wine?
The sweetest, most vile concoction!
Still, we drank and laughed
As though it were the finest Bordeaux
You were a Merlot Ho
I was a White Zinfandel aficionado
We enjoyed our bottles
While eating the birthday dinner
You'd made in my honor
Complete with chocolate cake
You read to me from your journal
About your trip to Nepal
Later, we watched Absolutely Fabulous
And I loved hearing you laugh
Whenever drunken Patsy keeled over
Now that you live in Atlanta
I have no more than a couple of beers a year
And a glass of wine is reserved
For special occasions
But whenever you were near
I would drink you in
And you always made me giddy
Categories:
keeled, friendshipme,
Form:
Free verse
I talked to God last night
as I keeled beside my bed
God almighty you're always right
That is what said
As I Keeled beside my bed
God you have shown me the way
That is what I said
I am thankful for today
God you have shown me the way
I have found my inner peace
That is what I said
All this fighting needs to cease
As I keeled beside my bed
God almighty you're always right
that is what I said
I talked to God last night
Categories:
keeled, god, god, god, me,
Form: