Best Homeowner Poems


The American Way

The American Way

In every neighborhood
There are problems that arise.
Some never get resolved
No one that fact denies.

However:  the other day
A big story was in our paper.
Of a group of upset neighbors
Pulled off a “real-estate” caper. 

It seems the lovely development
Was being constantly harassed.
By big money development folk
Looking to make some cash.

It meant to change the character
Of this lovely street of homes
By building big condos out behind
Till someone got on the phones.

Alerting all the players
Who’s home backed up to the mess
We need to band together
If we are to ward off this ugly pest.

I don’t know the many hours
These folks spent in meeting
But saw each other often enough
By first names would soon be greeting.

I don’t know the details
It wasn’t happening to me
How “huge” a problem was it?
Just how serious could it be?

I don’t have facts to share
No details to finish my rhyme
But I know enough to tell you
Big business didn’t win this time.

These families grabbed this “bull”
Soundly by the horns.
Soon a co-operative  process
With “cash” backers was taking form.

They pooled their limited resources
Each homeowner would pay a share
They’d show these roughneck players
They weren’t so easy now to scare.

They bought the land behind them
Set a plan for moving on
There may still be hurdles to jump
But for now the war’s been won.

My hat is off to each family
There may have been some glitches
But I saw no personal belongs
Out on a porch or in the ditches.

I can’t believe it’s really happening
It’s so the American way.
If a group is being harmed
All together they enter the fray.

So as the days and weeks
Progressing with plan A
Don’t lose hope or get upset
Plan B may be on the way. 


Written by oldbuck Nov. 7, 2017 to tell the story about some great neighbors that joined together to ward off big business and the government process.
© Old Buck  Create an image from this poem.

Like a Skillful Fisherman

untangling his nets,

the hardy homeowner

lays out Xmas lights

on his snow-covered drive.

Women's Wits

WOMAN'S WITS
By  Ronalyn M. Pupa
“There is a woman in the house!”
She is the man’s partner and supporter,
Maintains household’s peace and order,
          Alone or with you, stands still in all the crises forever, 
She is the everybody’s MODEL. 

“There is a woman in the house!” 
She patiently teaches the young the basics, 
Discovers and nurtures child’s special traits with her tactics, 
Personality is shaped through aptitudes and attitudes mystics, 
She is every child’s first TEACHER.

“There is a woman in the house!”  
She ensures the new wealth is health mindfully,
She organizes the home and its activities accordingly,
Family has proper food, enough sleep and rest daily,
 She is the family NURSE awakes around the clock.

“There is a woman in the house!”  
She turns home into different places artistically,
She varies interior design and arrangement magically,
Home becomes an inviting, restful and cheerful place instantly,
She is the best homeowner and MANAGER.

“There is a woman in the house!”  
She manages and uplifts the income of the family,
Receives husband’s salary yet wise in spending money, 
Prioritizes necessities, comforts than luxury,
She is the TREASURER handling the family treasury.

“There is a woman in the house!”  
Skilled in childbearing or rearing as home’s central personality, 
Instills the habit of self-control, tidiness, diligence, honesty,
You turn to her for a never-ending understanding and sympathy,
With an incomparable love from womb to tomb, amazing MOTHER forever.

“There is a woman in the house!”  
There is a woman working and leading elsewhere,
A woman who conquers struggles and reigns everywhere,
With passion and commitment in her career,
Oh, woman! everybody admires your wits and power.


I Don'T Want To Leave

I don't want to leave
I've always wanted my own house,
there's no point in arguing with you
so I stay quiet like a mouse.

You say we'll have to move next Fall
I think you're jumping the gun,
you always get like this when bills are bad
you always want to run.

Stop being such a cry baby
we'll make it through,
you know, they're my bills as well
paying them isn't always up to you.

I will get a damn job
so stop being in your cry baby mode,
take a damn chill pill
it's not only us going down this road.

If I get a job though
you have to promise me this,
stop drinking and flushing our money
every time you take a piss.

It isn't fair to me
because you feel this way,
my dream of being a homeowner, shattered
I guess that's the price I'll pay.

Copyright Cynthia Jones
May.13/2015

Premium Member A Spider, a Mouse, a Snake

A spider can scare a lady
    A mouse can scare one too
  A snake can scare a homeowner
    who finds one in his shoe 

  Some kids are scared of dogs
    others fear a skunk
  even more than rats or possums ~
    All this is what I've thunk

Premium Member Decade of the 80's

I finished high school in the 60's, a decade of 'Change and Revolution'.                                                                                                                      Got married in the 70's, the decade of 'Accountability and Resolution'.                                                                       Yes, I became a man in the 70's, a college graduate, a father, a voter,                                                                     a missionary pastor, and a homeowner.  The decade of the 70's was like                                                                               building a foundation and a platform in anticipation of the decade of the 80's.
The 80's was a decade of 'Reconstruction, Reconsideration, Reconciliation,                                                 and Revision'. The 80's, also a decade of Fiscal Responsibility, Vision, and Expansion, gave birth to the formation and rise of the Reagan Democrats.  I suspect that Jimmy Carter was no match for the 80's because the 80's ushered in his defeat at the hands of Ronald Reagan, who also took on The Air Traffic Controllers and weakened the hands  of America's Strong Labor Unions. The Spring of '81 brought us the failed assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan who nearly died but recovered and went on to become a great president who said to the head of the Soviet Union, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall". There were great catches, great runs, great tackles, and great touchdowns as the 80's brought the rise and reign of the San Francisco 49ers. In the late 70's, Americans were captured and held hostage in Iran and released in the early 80's. My first vote for a Republican presidential candidate was cast in 1980 for Ronald Reagan.  Our third and last child was born in 1981, and after moving to Sacramento in '86, unable to find work in Sacramento. I commuted to San Francisco for two and a half years. The Aids epidemic broke out in the 80's, and suddenly the sexual revolution was being brought to, if not a halt, at least a pause. Early on with very small attendance, an Aids Seminar was held at our church.
10132018PoSoupContest, Remembering The 80's, Michelle Faulkner


Your Equity Release Plan

>For the umpteenth time I have received in the mail.  The post one not email a letter from a company informing me of my equity release plan.  They enclosed a prepaid envelope.  Seems a shame to waste it. This is my reply plus I enclosed a list of my books and an introduction to The mad Author lol.

My equity release plan  Tuesday 15 March 2016

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your circular letter, I received it just today.
The date that heads this reply which I trust you will read, I say.

I wish I was homeowner, as you're right, I'm seventy-two.
Alas I'm not, as I am not as rich as blinking you.

You see I worked for a charity, caring for animal welfare, every day.
Although they supplied me with a shelter, I existed on low pay.

But it was a job, I chose, when I left the RAVC.
I really did feel for all the animals, I saw treated so cruelly.

I do not own my own home, it does not belong to me.
So I'm really now sad and upset, I am not getting any equity.

But if you bought one of my books, okay, make that two or three.
I only need to sell 999,997 more, to qualify for your equity.

I'm known as The mad Author, not my real name.  You see.
You already know my Christian name, as you addressed your letter correct to me.

I'm using your prepaid envelope, which I thank you for.
But guess this reply, will soon occupy your wastebasket on the floor.

That really is a pity,I'll no doubt not hear from you anymore.
Unless you buy one of my books, then could be a fan for evermore.

And if you advertise me for free.  I really will have to thank thee.
And I  guess you're kind of busy, so this is all now you'll get from me.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how I replied to the unsolicited mail that popped through my letterbox.  I often do this, as find it is a very cheap way of spreading poetry about the countryside.  And who knows, one of these days, someone might read it whose brain goes, click, this man is good, we must publish him.  Hurry up Dragon this cloud is getting very thin.  I need a lift back to Earth.  'Paralysed everybody'.  I said, 'have a nice day, everybody.' Dragon you must concentrate.  (The mad author)<

The Chain Letter

I went for a walk, as I did each morn,
I picked up the mail which was always the norm,
A letter, a bill and two lousy flyers,
One for insurance and one selling tires.

Nothing seemed special, all was the same,
I looked a bit closer and saw something strange,
A black and white envelope there in the rack,
I scooped up the letter and then headed back.

The writing was neat, but my name was spelled wrong,
I write it quite short, but they spelled it quite long.
I opened the letter to see what it said,
And started to chuckle, for here’s what I read.

“My Own Dearest Dave, or whatever you’re called,
Homeowner, Tenant,” (I was really appalled),
“I have something special, so don’t go away,
I’m glad that I reached you, you’re lucky today.”

“I’ll give you some money, I’ll give you some fame,
You’ve nothing to lose, and all things to gain,
Just send twenty copies to all of your friends,
There’s nothing to buy and nothing to spend.”

“But if you don’t do this, you’ve no one to blame,
For bad luck will follow and drive you insane,
Your car will not start and you’ll have a flat tire,
Your house will get robbed and your cat will expire.”

I thought it was crazy, another big scam,
A gullible person is not what I am,
I’m nobody’s fool, nor easily swayed,
I ripped up the letter and threw it away.

My life is on track and I’m right on the mark,
I’d paint the town red if my car would just start,
I’m ready to party; (that guy was a liar),
Now what is the matter, I have a flat tire.

I flagged down a taxi and went on the town,
I found a great party and really got down,
I met a young lady and we did some kissing,
But when I got home, my TV was missing.

Now where is that cat, she was here when I left,
She’s hiding again, she is such a big pest,
Oh, that’s where she is, over there by the fire,
I think she is dead, my cat has expired.

I got into bed and thought of my day,
I had a great evening, doing it my way,
I thought of that letter with all of its rules,
I’m glad that my Mama did not raise a fool.

Premium Member Why Grass

When did grass become a religion?
The perfect green, weed-free lawn
The goal of every homeowner?
Whole companies now exist solely
To maintain this suburban vision
With “lawn control” fertilizers and
A multitude of weed killer sprays,
In the process destroying habitat
And poisoning butterflies and the bees
We need for pollination of fruits,
Vegetables and a host of flowering plants.
Constant watering depletes reserves
And wastes our precious resource.
Hail to those who have dandelions 
And chickweed growing in their lawn
Or those who plant native grasses
And hardy local plants and flowers.
Hurrah for those who opt for vegetable
Gardens in the place of lawns and who
Plant shrubs and flowers that attract 
and nurture the elements of nature.

Fiftythree

FIFTYTHREE
CharlaXFabels
Differences
Sheep and Goats is the way the BIBLE says it and ewe can knoe them by the fruit 
some men smoke and some men drink too much
Some men eat too many candy. Poor men eat a lot of fish and some potatoes 
some men look for extra meat. Some men love to eat too much some men still 
don't get enough. When life is over comes the judgment of the GOD. Please say 
JESUS while there is still some time to ponder leave the habits far behind step 
on water walk some lines. One man kills his enemy while in fighting mode one 
man turns away and fights to live another day called a coward he is stone. 
Fighting men live the cowardice. Every time a red neck hurts another freak every 
time a fight has ended in complete harm to the survivor understand the reversal 
of our roles when you both are then transformed and standing at the throne of 
GOD eye plan to then endeavor to forgive you in the sight of a righteous 
plenteous GOD for eye am sinner born of woman and of blood. Saying Jesus 
has to be enough to save us for the Power is the Spirit and the name. Apostolic 
Teachings tell us we aer saved by our own faith. Say the name of Jesus then 
believe in GOD. Works are meant to be the good ones helping others giving aid. 
All the things a fighting man defames. Takers gamblers beggermen thiefs. Not 
goats but sheep in woolite clothing once eye wanted to attempt to fly like 
Superman and walk through the walls and once when eye was near a ditch eye 
went to JESUS in my Spirit and eye witnessed to a HomeOwner who could not 
accept the fact that eye did the impossible split for while eye was standing there 
on the side of the road and in my earthly body eye was also in my Spirit speaking 
in the living room and watching self outside yes lameba eye did split like 
Superman on one episode he was moving to save someone and even if the man 
eye met did not accept it was the attempt that was worth the try. While other men 
fight.

Premium Member Be the Best

Some ten years ago, a business owner went to bid for a cleaning job.                                                                 Her's was a cleaning service for both private and commercial properties.                                                           This was a private property, and part of the conversation went like this:

Potential customer: "Our last cleaning service charged us $50                                                                                  per clean."  Reply: "How did you ever let her get away?"                                                                                       "She moved from the area", was his response.  The bidder then said,                                                                "We could never do this job for $50.  Perhaps she was not liscensed,                                                          had no insurance, and paid no taxes. She takes the cash and moves on.                                                               We have far more overhead.  And furthermore, we never try to be the                                                      cheapest.  We work hard at being the best".                                                                                                            

The business lady did not get that job, because the homeowner was looking      to buy the "Cheapest Service", and the business owner was looking to sell       
the "Best Service".                                                        

07212017FBPS

Terminator Box

Terminator Box 
Terminator Box 
 
 
The man was emailing every name in the phonebook he was frantically sending 
out emails to everyone alive the terminus box is all the subject line would say 
and as the text there is the question marks and the blood on the page 
The ps went quick then the q lined up on the page Quickamore Horatio was the 
only entry there in a phonebook so far full of only despair Hello what's this the 
homeowner looked at his computer screen it was beeping a strange glowing 
color at him "yew have one new message" over and over again in multicolor hue 
and glowing some too please answer me please over and over again the 
Terminator Box is killing us all this city is besieged by the devil my friend and the 
terminus box was attached to the leg of the chair my computer was on. The poor 
man is gone he died while Horatio was getting the call. Quickamore pressed 
enter just once. 
That's when he noticed my terminator box.

Beige, Brown, Cream, Tan -

As I have walked pass or visited high-in rich subdivisions and gated communities, I have noticed all the homes are from the same color bracket. They are either beige, brown, cream, tan, camel, oatmeal, caramel, taupe… or a mixture of these colors, like half brown, half beige… Have you noticed that as well? I wonder if that is an HOA requirement? To me, it makes all the houses look the same and the whole subdivision looks bland.

Why can’t there be some diversity, brightness and excitement to those bland, boring subdivisions? Why can’t the homeowner have a choice or say so as to what color they prefer their 2.3 million dollar home to be? People should be able to paint their property to their personality. 
Yes… Dare to be different!

If I lived in a gated community, I want a multi-level, multicolor home. My home would be teal, green, purple, yellow and red. The roof will be red, my door would be purple, the window sidings would be teal, the house would be yellow and the garage door would be green. Bam!!!

I hope they know that it is not 1914 anymore. Sad to say, but people are so stuck in the norm and the comfort level of the past, that an idea of color coordination community homes like this in rich sub-divisions and gated communities would never happen. Which means, I would probably have to buy land and build my home and paint it as I so see fit.

Premium Member The Callous Homeowner

 No trespassing! You with the straw hat you need to go
 You’ve a startled face that laughs as you scratch your belly
 Recycle man and your thirty-nine-gallon bag in tow

 There’s nothing to salvage here, only rubbish I throw
 It’s my property which you invade, you’re in my alley
 No trespassing! You with the straw hat you need to go

 You're an eyesore to behold, I told you long ago
 But words mean nothing, man of rubbish so smelly
 Recycle man and your thirty-nine-gallon bag in tow

 My hands shake, I pray that you don’t come by tomorrow 
 I’ve seen you eat out of the can, this isn’t a deli
 No trespassing! You with the straw hat you need to go

 A penny a dime a quarter, it's chump change you borrow
 What can these empties buy what is your tally?
 Recycle man and your thirty-nine-gallon bag in tow

 Haunting dreams in which you appear, it irks me so
 I’ll set a trap for you, a poisoned biscuit and jelly
 No trespassing! You with the straw hat you need to go
 Recycle man and your thirty-nine-gallon bag in tow
© I Am Anaya  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member No More Squirrels

backyard squirrels gone
feral felines licking paws
distraught homeowner

May 31, 2021

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