Best Ho Poems

hey ho
does an octopus know
how to juggle with eight cups and saucers
and the fish watching him
while the elephants swim
then he juggles with a turtle and tortoise

then ho hey
does the octopus say
I can do this all day round in circles
but an ache in my arm 
in...

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There's a Senior's home called the Shady Lane
    and life's curse is at an end.
Where a hundred souls are kept in line
    till Death its message sends.
They built a country... fought its wars, 
    giving everything...

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In the 1600's, Europeans lived on the eastern shore
Their numbers grew, they wanted more.
Iroquios, Sauk, Ottawa, and Mohawk were tribes they met
Too many and more, paid our forefathers' debt.
Men moved west thru the Cumberland gap
Daniel Boone led them, wearing a coonskin cap.
Freedom's new country was...

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Welcome KMart shoppers blares through the air as a mosh pit of greedy Holiday buggers hurl themselves through the glass and aluminum doors—Obese bodies press (children jammed between white-bread). Trolls in strollers screech in pain and howls of Christ mask laughter. The shopper's feet bombard...

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My wife and I went for a cruise in the Caribbean Sea,
I decided that I would talk like a pirate ‘till she got sick of me.

I told her that I was going to steal a look at her treasured chest,
Or get my hands on her...

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Weeeeel, It's friday night
And I got my fiddle 
Alfred's here 
And he starting to niggle
I said call the dance
And make those folks wiggle
Here at the Soup hoe down

He stood at the mike
And started talkin' silly
with a Do-se-do
Just like a Hillbilly
With an allemande left
Hypocrites to the...

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‘Twas close to the day when Buba Claus,
His red nose and Bowie knife shining,
Would be off to fill the manly's hearths,
With bacon for their frying.

The ground was bare of snow or ice, 
The sky was clear of reindeer. 
But Buba Claus was loading his sleigh,...

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Haul back from Winter Fairy land the wondrous Christmas tree
Open up the boxes with bright ornaments and all the trimming.

Hear the kids shout for Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman oh so merry.
Obedient they are too, like little elves, with visions of toys, their joy...

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The crowd dots the cavernous hall,
colorfully scatter like a box of fallen jujubes,
a virtual confetti of humanity
with hoots and catcalls, the ruckus roar.

The politicians venture forth unabashedly;
prancing and pandering for chump change
like circus bears on their hind legs,
drool running from the corners of their painted...

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When your Ho, Ho, Ho is a no, no, no
        Then you must open the lung
                Then just blow, blow, blow your Ho,...

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Ho-hum, another war lost
  We should have won
Our new partner for peace ~ the Taliban

Ho-hum, a new school year
  First semester's curriculum
    Learn whom to FEAR

Ho-hum, we're going all-electric
  While 'Mr. Green President'
Begs Russia ~ Pump more oil! Protet...

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Tally-ho, the young steeplechase rider cried
As his horse stumbled over the barrier he up and died
The rider went flying
He heard as he lay dying
“Welcome cowboy” he heard a voice from the other side


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Yo-Ho-Ho And Shiver Me Timbers

Shiver me timbers and loosen me limbers
I sail me sloop until it lin’ers
And drop anchor in t’  nearest lagoon
Bury me treasure chest full o’ doubloons 
Then set off durin  t’ next full moon

~

“Aarrr!” I’m happy go-lucky sea piratin ...

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Bowl the ball forward; not back
Someone's leg you just might crack!
Someone's ball is in the gutter?
Oh the things people will mutter!
Hoping you have the knack!...

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dragons fly
burning fodder
land hoe.

sea gulls fly
over water
"Land Ho!"

pesky fly
dodging swatter
"Land! Ho!"

deborah burch©
4/11/2012...

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