Tony Lane Poet Light Verse

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Tums

My wife and I went for a cruise in the Caribbean Sea,
I decided that I would talk like a pirate ‘till she got sick of me.

I told her that I was going to steal a look at her treasured chest,
Or get my hands on her booty whichever I liked the best.

And if she’d shiver me timber I told her that I would swash her buckle,
She didn’t think too much of my offer but it made me start to chuckle.

I twisted one hand into a gnarled hook and even fashioned for her a peg,
I kept it up until, “Please stop this pirate business,” she began to beg.

But it seems I had an enemy trying to thwart me on the cruise,
A buffet line or my beautiful wife, which one would I choose?

And then they fired their big guns at me from the dessert buffet table,
The carbs took the wind from my sails until my libido wasn’t able.

When you sail the sea with a fork in hand your love life will be fleein’,
Try your best not to surrender yourself to the pie plates of the Caribbean.

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Elizabeth Wesley August 29, 2011 at 10:42 PM You had a real problem Tony, but you got to go home with your wife and that was probably the best part of all. You are too funny in this and needless to say I loved it.

Andrea Dietrich August 23, 2011 at 1:02 AM This is so cool. I was on this cruise in 2000 and LOVED It. HOw I wish I could do another one. Very clever and funny this.

Bl Devnath August 22, 2011 at 4:49 PM Nice Write. Well coming you with congratulation being you are a premium member of the poetry soup. Thanks.bl

Carolyn Devonshire August 22, 2011 at 2:47 PM I was chuckling at the things you said to your wife, Tony and then I got to the last two verses which had me laughing out loud. "Pie plates of the Caribbean" sounds like what I've heard about cruises, though I've never taken one for fear of eating my libido to death. Fun poem! Love, Carolyn Tony Lane August 22, 2011 at 2:55 PM The truely sad thing is, I really did say them to her. She's very used to me. Glad that you laughed. Tony

Judy Ball August 22, 2011 at 2:10 PM Cute as a buttong my friend. well done. God Bless, JB Tony Lane August 22, 2011 at 2:57 PM Judy, you are too nice. Thank you. Tony

Francine Roberts August 22, 2011 at 12:38 PM lmao, that was priceless, too funny "pie plates of the Carribean" ? hilarious, this is going straight to my favourites Tony Lane August 22, 2011 at 1:33 PM Sure, it funny now, but at the time....

Nick Bagnall August 22, 2011 at 7:26 AM All that for the worst pun in the world!! I was laughing all the way through, really enjoyed it ! Tony Lane August 22, 2011 at 7:44 AM I have no shame. Tony