Best Gan Poems
Health got you down?
Blood pressure's up?
Can't sleep at night?
Nothing left in your cup?
Hey! Take it easy!
Kick back! Settle down!
You take life too seriously!
Go find your inner clown!
Kid around! Tell a joke!
Think of a funny riddle!
Come on, Jack:
Pick up your fiddle.
Hey diddle-diddle!
Don't be a crank. Play a prank!
Give yourself some room.
The best Rx for you
Is to cast off your gloom!
Don't believe me?
Think it's all hoo-ey?
Ready to stick out your tongue
And go PHOO-EY?
Well, I'll tell you what happened
To my friend at the doc's;
When they read him his blood pressure,
His knees 'gan to knock;
It was up there so high,
He was sure he'd soon die...
Then the doc came in,
Flashed a silly grin,
His fingers stroking
The imaginary Beard on his chin,
My friend thought this so funny,
He laughted his nose runny,
Til Doc gave him more news:
He had the 'urine test blues.'
Well, that really did it,
My friend couldn't quit
Laughing and guffawing
Til his sides nearly split.
When he fin'lly calmed down,
Doc said, "Sit back and rest.
It's time to retake that silly
Blood pressure test."
And what do you know?
Lo and behold,
When the reading was taken,
My friend's heart no longer was achin,'
And his pulse had stopped racin.'
"Good Heavens!" cried Doc,
"We musta been mistaken!
Either that or all these yuks musta
Fixed ye:
Your blood pressure's down to
110 over 60!"
Her name was Nola
From Hispaniola
She liked to get her fix
On Coca-Cola
She liked to coochy-coo
With everyone she knew
But when she blew her nose
Then all her friends withdrew
At Corona
Corona virus
It's the hottest spot
North of your sinus
At Corona
We fell pell-mell
Ah ah ah
Don't feel so well
Ah ah ah, ah ah
His name was Lu Gan
He came from Wuhan
He liked to dance all night
As much as you, man
He liked to socialize
With all the girls and guys
But since he caught the bug
His mouth is catching flies
At Corona
Corona virus...
Her name was Betty
She was a free spouse
She liked to play all day
In someone's tree house
But she could not survive
When you turn sixty-five
You run a higher risk
That you won't leave alive
At Corona
Corona virus...
Her name was Miley
A human virus
I guess that's why she clogs
The human sinus
But when she caught the flu
She spread her germs on you
A way to make you sick
And make you angry too
At Corona
Corona virus
It's the hottest spot
North of your sinus
At Corona
We fell pell-mell
Ah ah ah
Don't feel so well
Ah ah ah
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL
Ah ah ah, Ah ah!
China Spies and Lies
Concentration camps in the north
disappearing book sellers in the south
Chinese spies hunt one and all
Army of thieves , worldwide
Zhao Ziyang, where is he?
erased from Chinese history
where is the brave young man
who battled one thousand tanks?
Xu Jiatun, where is he?
erased from Chinese history
truth has no play in China today
only death and propaganda reign
Xi Jinping, crimes against humanity
Lu Shaye, propogandist to the core
Leaders of a revolution long dead
corruption their cause, their only rules
Coal plants and cigarettes
Keep your silences
even you may lose your breath
This is China, spies and lies
Jailed Activists
Ai Weiwei
Bao Tong
Bao Zunxin
Cai Lujun
Chen Pokong
Cheng Jianping
Gao Zhisheng
Guo Quan
He Depu
Hu Jia
Huang Qi
Ilham Tohti
Jiang Lijun
Jiang Rong
Jiang Yanyong
Jiang Yefei
Li Hai
Li Zhi
Liao Yiwu
Liu Di
Liu Xiaobo
Qin Yongmin
Shi Tao
Tan Zuoren
Tang Baiqiao
Wang Bingzhang
Wang Dan
Wang Quanzhang
Wang Xiaoning
Wang Youcai
Wei Jingsheng
Wu Gan
Xu Zhiyong
Yang Jianli
Yuan Hongbing
Yue Xin
Zeng Jinyan
Zhao Changqing
Zhao Lianhai
Last Dance
It was a beautiful day
A day of celebration, a day of thrill
It was the day of my sister’s 18th birthday
The most waited day of a girl to be a lady
and I? I was a girl that time and all I have to do is to
Observe and cooperate
And it was our most anticipated moment
To witness that celebration
and to witness our dear father
as the first dance of my sister
who was missing us for many years
because of separation.
Yet we didn’t know that, that would be the
first and very last day of the year that we’ll see him
His body was so thin
His face looks sickly and heartbreaking
He looks so different
But he remained calm and at ease
Michael Gan the first rose,
He stands and overwhelmingly danced for my sister
They turned and sway
They dance like it was the last
He was overjoyed
Filled with different emotions
Happy, touched, sad, missing us, and regretting
His heart jumped over him
He tries to catch his breath touching his own chest
We hasten him to the nearest sickbay
To salvage his life
His precious life, my father
Battling from death, loses his fight
His eyes wide open, no air
No movements, no smile because...
It was his last dance
Fear
The shout of a man sitting at a table
He was collecting all bottles, and glass that he was able
I turned to my husband and said what do you think?
Some guys stood behind us and said "lets get a drink."
I moved to the side, I walked on past
The hairs on my neck were standing up fast
A feeling I knew washed over me
Something was happening and I didn’t want to see.
A guard with a gun, knocked me as he walked by
The guy at the table with the bottles wasn’t shy.
"Get lost, get away you can’t stop me flying
I know what to do without even trying."
My heart began to race, what is going on?
People are pushing and shoving then we could see he had a gun.
The fight starts there on the floor, two men with the glass and bottles
Two guards rush in, hands round throats trying to throttle
We hide behind tables, and chairs, we cannot escape
A gun slides up near making a noise like ripping duck tape.
It’s there at my feet- a hand reaches for it,
Is it a guard or a terrorist? I nearly have a fit.
A push in the back from a big burly guy
Shouts “Go on get stuck in, give it a try.”
"What the hell are you on about shut your mouth now"
There’s guns flying round and words I never heard- I vow
There are four on the floor kicking guns and screaming loud
Then a clicking of two feet, comes a short man from the crowd
He stands and he yells and they all do stop
He points and picks up the guns that they have not
He sorts it all out; the police come take them away
An announcement rings out
“Thanks for flying with us today.”
Based on a true event over thirty years ago in an airport in Gan Canary
The 8th of September twenty twenty two
A day of sad news is brought to you
London Bridge has fallen this was said
At eighteen thirty two Queen Elizabeth II is dead
Her Royal Highness reigned for seventy years
Her subjects she'd blood, sweat and tears
The longest reigning monarch to ever have served
Mourning across the world will be observed
A Queen, a monarch and a mother of four
The only Queen to do your bit during the war
A granny of 8 and gan gan of 12
Being a great monarch you did delve
Born Elizabeth Alexandra Mary in April 26
To Prince Albert who became George VI
No-one knew you would become Queen
The first decade of life being pristine
In 1936 uncle Edward abdicated the crown
Your whole world just turned upside down
Your first radio broadcast at the age of 14
"God will care for us and give us victory"
Your first inspection of troops in 1942
Pragmatic and kind but that's what you do
In 1945 you did your bit for the war effort
Joining the ATS as a mechanic and driving expert
In 47 you married your childhood sweetheart
Very seldom was it you were ever apart
Your true resilience again was shown
As you collected fabric coupons for your gown
In 1948 your first son charles was born
Then came Anne whom I've met on the lawn
Ten year later Andrew did come
Two years later Edward your youngest son
In February 52 your father did pass
You became Queen as a 24 year old lass
June 53 the your coronation year
First one broadcasted caused many a tear
In the 70 years you did so much
The commonwealth you kept in touch
Your political views almost always hidden
Even recently meeting president Bidden
Stiff upper lip and done what's right
Keeping the family together a real fight
You are now on your final journey
Together forever with Philip and corgis
You will be missed as Commander in Chief
I thought this poem was going to be brief
From all your citizens on all your land
We shout out loud Liz was grand
R.I.P your Majesty
God's Speed
Forever eternity.
IRONY
My joy that I wasn't born a Nigerian
Is that my parents are Yorubas
I would have been limited to Naira
Mo dúpé pé mo lókó nílé (All thanks, I have a hoe)
Mo láyò pé omo alápatà sá lèmi(I rejoice, I am the butcher's offspring)
Nigerians should say alhamduliLhai
That our legislators are not as corrupt as our president
The country would have met with a great recession
E wá womo alápatà bó ti n jàsán (behold, a butcher's meal begging for a piece of meat)
Eni tó lókó nílé tó tún fowó ó kómí kiri(and a shovel merchant handpicking wastes)
Nigeria is blessed
With green pastures
And various rich liquids
Láyé Olúgbón, mo dá borùn méje(in the reign of Olugbon I owned seven different brocades)
Láyé Arèsà, mo dá borùn méfà (in the reign of Areas I owned six different brocades)
Nigerians are blessed
With great leaders
And various 'politricks'
Láyé Olósèlú mo ra àrán, mo ra sányán baba aso( in the reign of politicians, I owned linen and silk)
Ení pé ilè yìí o dùn ení kó wá bòmíràn lo(who dare thus pasture is not green should please make an exit)
The rich no longer cry
They are the beneficiaries
Of the poorman's labour
Sisésisé wà lóòrùn tó n làágùn (the labourer are dripping with sweat)
Jeséjesé wà làbétè tó n jè 'gbádùn(the beneficiaries enjoy the clubs)
Oh God of creation
Guide our leaders right
Perhaps, to spend our labour well
Bámúbámú mo yo x2(My hunger is satisfied to the fullest)
Èmi ò mò pébi n pomo enì kankan(I doubt if there is any languishing in hunger)
...
Whenever I see a Nigerian
I see along the irony of a country
Where hunger is an offspring of plenty
Nìnú òpò ará ìlú n jòwón(despite the riches, inflation is at its peak)
Nínú oyé, èése táráyé tún n sunkún oru?( and though its winter, the masses sweat is still profuse)
I hope to change the condition
I wish I could turn this irony around
And make a great change of situations
Sùgbón níbo laó ti bèèrè?(But where hence do we start?)
Tani ká kókó gbá lówó mún gan an?(who should be our first suspect?)
Sájépo lájà ni àbí eni tó báa gbà á sílè? (The looters or their abets?)
Where from should one start
Rewriting the story of this country?
Àbí e ò rórò bí? (Can you see?)
Òrò n bá rò ma ròfó, èfó n bá rò ma mún jèko (that this issue begets another)
Irony nlá leyii je, it is a big kàyééfì (this is a big kayeefi, irony nla leyii je)
Joyous rapture awoke sleeping animalistic giant:
carnal, feral, gonadal horniness in deed, when defiant
this primate crossed figurative
paths with a stunning woman
older than a spring chicken freed
via ma hen nah paws van
jealous (of casual suitors),
when I figuratively crossed urban
paths with delectable dame.
This hedonistic mwm veritable tan
tin nab buell lay shun caged in rein
mister experienced euphoric San
ta Claus gifted encounter merely
approached a female stranger ran
king as absolutely beautiful asper
Samson recounted Delilah, Qan
i.e. qualification assurance notification
within this poetic blurb. Pan
dum money yum (does not come close)
upon entering a nan
oh meter times a gazillion equals
scope of super sized ALDI's, every man
woman, and child could be housed.
This supermarket (anchored lan
did at one end of a string of bungle
low slung businesses conveniently kan
struck ted adjacent to popular stores,
which aligned buildings a haven come Jan
ewe weary, these newly constructed
bricks and mortal portals along Ian
eyesed, seen as primary corridor
i.e. Ridge Pike (linkedin with Han
sill and Gretel recently rural gingerbread
cookie cutter communities). Gan
a mead by Jove, said affordably priced
food store noticed as a fan
tass tick location along the driver side
heading towards Limerick, ean
at dark hours within Pennsylvania).
This patron (me) of aforementioned Dan
dee nofrills modestly priced franchise
espied an available card soon after Can
Nudda entered this outsize place
to buy groceries. Another shopper (a bon ban
Joe plucky strung string apetite
slip sans attractive gracefully aged gal) anan
Copyright 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
POETIC LYRICS BY THOMAS L.H. ANDRESS
Aspen to Maine...London to Rome...Tok-y-O-to Mars
And Mars to Venus'...outter-stars!
When your mixing bowl...is...set...just-right
Cars come rolling...and the Stars...in their cars...PETAL-TO-METAL
To reach your stars!
FIVE-STARS...when the recipe is...SET RIGHT!
Beefy-guy...cheesey-girls...ALOTTA-HOT-AIR
Baking-it-Right!
MIXED-RIGHT!
Fruity-Cakes...and a Cheese-Cake Princess...ALOTTA-TO-MATOES
Baking-it-Right!
MIXED-RIGHT!
None-of-your-business!
It's a FIVE-STAR-DINER...in Pink-Champagne and Ice!
THAT'S-Nice!
It's a FIVE-STAR-DINER...in Pink-Champagne and Ice!
THAT'S-Nice!
Beefy-guy's STRO-GAN-OFF...ING...'NOTHER-GOLD-EN PRINCESS!
Beefy-guy's STRO-GAN-OFF...ING...'NOTHER-GOLD-EN PRINCESS!
MIXED-RIGHT...Danger's...Only a Silly Name
In a Gameless...RECIPE!
MIXED-RIGHT...Danger's...Only a Silly Name
In a Gameless...RECIPE!
Mahi...Mahi-A...a-LOTTA...HOT-AIR!
When a tasteless BURGER...WON'T-DO!
SET-YOUR...DO!
Golden-Spurs-'n-Saddles!
Riding...TO-A-SUMMER-SET...TING...and-Wonders
When Stars-in-Cars...Come-Rolling...To-an-Endless-Summer!
Mahi...Mahi-A...a-LOTTA...HOT-AIR!
When a tasteless BURGER...WON'T-DO!
SET-YOUR...DO!
Golden-Spurs-'n-Saddles!
Riding...TO-A-SUMMER-SET-TING...and-Wonders
When Stars-in-Cars...Come-Rolling...To-an-Endless-Summer!
Tacos and Stars...Stars in Joints...Joining Together
In a Mixing Bowl...A RE-CI-PE FOR SUC-CESS!
Tacos and Stars...Stars in Joints...Joining Together
In a Mixing Bowl...A RE-CI-PE FOR SUC-CESS!
PLATING A BOWL...Mixed-Right...it's just beef, beans, pork, chicken
Or Just Hashin It!
PLATING A BOWL...Mixed-Right...it's just beef, beans, pork, chicken
Or Just Hashin It!
A-RE-CI-PE...A-REST-AURANT...It's-FIVE-STAR!
A-RE-CI-PE...A-REST-AURANT...It's-FIVE-STAR!
You must remember this, the way the young French waiter
pronounced her name, Sarah Vog-gan
singing "April in Paris, chestnuts in blossom,
This is a feeling, No one can ever reprieve..." And how
on a small balcony in Paris where God spends His
summers, a baguette blessed with supper wine is holy.
How Green is the property of street-lined sycamores,
bursting giants of June. And, Blue, the divine province
of Bleu de Paris, a sky gold-kissed in a sly embrace until
no one misses the sun behind summer's spun-sugar
clouds. And, pray you then, think of those mysterious
shape-shifters in the Ebouie' fountain when bereft
of seas, rivers, crystalline mountain streams,
the softly heard roaring of their leonine songsters
took us to a place where the salmon leap,
their hearts bursting for home.
One dark and cloudy day, [on a Sunday] in a ruggy old church that sit on a hill,
member's and quest, gather's in together and all takes their seats. The loud noise
of thunder (outside) startle's everyone inside and many were murmering quite worr-
isome, but as situation's be as they be, inside, the atmosphere was anxious and frill,
in this church that sit's (?) on a hill!!.. So with all of the worshipper's back inside, its
10:45 in the morning, I began to wonder, "is there someplace else I should be", "the
devil", had my thoughts on undefile things, but the sereal sound of the sister's and
brother's-praying and the choir singing, quickly the voice of an angel{whispers in my
ear} take a seat you're here by divine choice not of your own, but it's my Master--
Will. "This-this church that sit's on a hill". They were singing. "Hail-le-lu-ah(Lord) hail-
le-lu, there's mercy in the atmosphere-hail-le-lu-aaaah. "He is the screamer". God's
powerfull and mighty-he's able to send blessing beyond the stratousphere-hail-le-lu-u-
aaaahh. "He blesses the screamer". "My Redeemer". Now the pastor enter the (sanct-
uary) from another door I did not see, step's up-everone claps their in acknowledge-
ment & repect, not unto him(he's just a vessel) but to whom thundering voice become
louder (outside) the light's flicker off and on, he comforts everyone to sit down and be-
gan to tell-us-that on his way here this morning, he seen one of the members who was
just baptish about a month ago. On the corner looking sad and so frill, come back home
my sister (he tells her to get into the car) God got something better for ya, (in this church
that sit's on a hill). "My Redeemer, My Redeemer", he instruck's everyone to touch 3 peo-
ples and say. My Redeemer, my redeemer, he knows that whatever is troubeling you-go
ahead and be a screamer-for he is our Redeemer. Again everyone clap's and I myself be-
gan to enjoy the serenity of friends and backslidder's crying just like me. Pastor - SHOUT's
OUT-over the storm that's approaching outside, let the outside amendetie's reassure you
of the element that's on the inside. {God} He's the author and the finisher of all the ele-
ments in the mindset of the silent one's & the scream'mer's. Pastor, "whom do you speak
of (?)... He's known as the Redeemer".
Phrases.
Well I never.
Eee by gum.
Well I go to the foot of our stairs.
Gan away wi yu.
And many more.
Are said, out door.
Quite a bore.
Up North.
Spoken with relish.
And verbosity.
Resound in the closetry.
Maybe they have nowt to say.
And these phrases make their day.
Maybe they never went to school.
Or learned what to say.
When you say them.
They make your day.
.............................................
By a Jordy.
The thriving carnage reigns over the land
with A chaos tortured brand
on top of the Abyss in which it stands
Along the side it taints the mist
Where the var gan lays quist
A tower of the mardend pulootion
wearing the scare of it's alootion
I prasie it's uptight quiff landing
Upon the dare the darkness grows
A woumped it skialivise's it's understanding
A place noted black where the quarrel's flow
The floor shifting the shipped fool in motion
In a rooom spiting tenthly death's devotion
All houses pertained in dark narshaw
Seated in moggy filled courtyard's ashamed flaw
The bird blindingly snaring it's setting moutain peek
Seeing the window panes narrow in pale
As the nightingale sings it's call uni did pa real
Then comes to this decisions it feels
Once stored it was ready to unfold it's possessive glave
A nor-ct feared Appering face
All halls filled with noise
opening the coffins mace
while the welder posted his poise
The break in deaths tower sets in his spirit
The nightingale sitting bluntly watching
Sing bird why have u called on me
My friend my friend
Supporting me anywhere
Acting like my mom
Caring me anytime
My friend my friend
Sharing your feelings
Solving the problem
You are always my family
[GAN YUKI - SERI JUBLI INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL MALAYSIA]
Ag?? (hunger)
Izunna Okafor dere ab? a
Ch??? ch??? ka ? na-atà n'af?
Nw?? nw?? ka ? na-am? n'?kp?kp?
Ag?? b? aha ya
? kp?? ?gan? ? za g?
Ag?? b? echete ebeme
O nwegh? nne, nke o ji enwe nna
O nwegh?kwa ikwu na ibe
Ag?? b? aha ya
Ag?? amagh? nwoke na nwaany?
? hagh?kwà ?m?ntak?r? aka
Mere e ji akp? ya otii nwata n'ihu nne ya
Ag?? b? aha ya
Ag?? anagh? as? anya
Ag?? nagh? eme ihere
Ag?? anagh? as? ndo
Ag?? b? aha ya
?r?b? na-at? ya égwù
At?ngà na-agbara ya ?s?
Dike akp? obi na-as?kwa ya as?
Ag?? b? aha ya
Ag?? enwegh? ényì
Ag?? enwegh? onye iro
Mana ebe ?b?la ? bàtàrà
a ch??r? ya ihe ? na-eri
Ag?? b? aha ya
I mete ya enyi, ? ka nj?
? t? ya iro, ? ny?? g? anya
? b? oruf?r? be onye
Ag?? b? aha ya
Ag?? na-am?kp? mmad?
Na-eme nwata okenye n'akagh? aka
Ma ya onwe ya ad?gh? aka nka
Ag?? b? aha ya
Ag?? b? ?nw?nwà
Ag?? na-ete mmad? ure n'?ha
Ag?? b?kwa ?ranyere nwata anya n'ogwu
Ag?? b? aha ya.
? na-ad? ka ?nw? na-egbu ?hà
Mana ?nw? ekwegh? ewere ya
Kemgbe okike ?wa ka o siri kpaba ike
Ag?? b? aha ya
Kwashi?k? b? af? ime ya
?nya af? b? òghùghù ?m?m? nwa
N'ala ili ka ? na-akpdobe ike
Ag?? b? aha ya
Ag?? eriela ?t?t? isi
Mana af? ekwegh? eju ya
? b? nke e mere j?? oyi
Ag?? b? aha ya
Ag?? d? nj?
Ag?? d? n'ala any?
Ag?? ah?ala ?m? mmad? ?n?
Ag?? egbuo nd? a
Ag??...