Best Free Advice Poems
Free advice is cheap and so is talk...
Listen, weigh it ~ then walk the walk
'Tis well known that when medicating cats they can become rather crabby,
So, this free advice is provided when feeding pills to the family tabby.
As if holding a baby, cradle the cat in the crook of your left arm.
(Wrapping both arms with towels wouldn't do any harm!)
Putting pressure to the cheeks, open his mouth, jamming the pill down his maw.
(Apply bandages to the gashes on your jaw left by Felix's lethal paw!)
Since he wouldn't swallow the pill, pick up the soggy mess from the floor,
And try to tackle the little rascal as he streaks for the open door!
Next, kneel on the floor with the cat firmly gripped between your thighs.
(Enlisting your spouse's aid to subdue the critter would be very wise!)
Place the pill on the end of a drinking straw and blow it down his pharynx.
(Taking care not to swallow the pill yourself or damage his delicate larynx!)
After using naughty and nasty language that is here best left unsaid,
And coaxing the rowdy patient from beneath the king-sized bed,
Try forcing his clamped jaws open with a handy tablespoon.
(Then, pick up the shattered vases that all about the room are strewn!)
After chasing the scoundrel around the neighborhood on an exciting spree,
The fire department should be called to rescue Felix from the neighbor's tree!
Then, call the local animal control people to pick up the cat from hell!
Later, call the pet store to see if they have gerbils, fish or parakeets to sell!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
I've always heard
about the New York minute
But nobody ever told me
about the New York hour
I'm speaking on the time of the day
when it seems like half the city
is out walking their dog
Everybody is aware,
everyone understands too
People have to let their dog out,
so they can do what they need to do
But if you're walking about
while all of those dogs are out
Here is some free advice offered from me to you
Don't be looking up at the stars,
or the pretty people in their cars
Instead be frequently checking the bottom of your shoe
More free advice to those* who would be King from the THIRUK-KURAL with notes
[*like presidents, prime ministers, dictators of declining (falling or fallen) nations]
K386: kaadchikku eliyan kaduñchollan allanaal
miikkuurum mannan nilam
Where king is easy of access, where no harsh word repels,
That land's high praises every subject swells. (Transl. G.U. Pope)
The whole world will exalt the country of the king who is easy of access, and whose words are without harshness. (Transl. Drew & Lazarus)
Where at royal audience all may attend a king gentle of voice and mien*,
That kingdom's praises all will sing. (Transl. T. Wignesan)
[* recourse to threats and reprisals can only undermine the good name of the land]
K429: viyavatka eññaantrum thannai
nayavatka nantri payavaa vinai
Never indulge in self-complaisant mood,
Nor deed desire that yields no gain of good. (Transl. G.U. Pope)
Let not a king praise himself, at any time;
let him not desire to do useless things. (Transl. Drew & Lazarus)
(The king) should neither blow his own horn
Nor occupy himself with acts* that bring in no corn. (Transl. T. Wignesan)
[* like building a porous wall on borrowed cash while tens of millions of the poor sick die in pain, EVEN IF AMERICA will wake up some day to realize that he was after all right about the measures he's wanting to take over IMMIGRATION, unless everybody wants the kind of irreversible situation FRANCE and GERMANY are going through.]
K454: manaththu ulathupOlak kaadti oruvat
inaththula thaakum arivu
Man's wisdom seems the offspring of his mind;
'Tis outcome of companionship we find. (Tranls. G.U. Pope)
The knowledge of a man, while it appears to be from his mind is (really) from his associates. (Transl. Drew & Lazarus)
[(The king) who makes as if his words (and ideas)* emanate from within himself, (the contrary being the case) will find it difficult to conceal their true source(s). (Transl T. Wignesan)]
[* A king who has difficulty expressing himself in the "King's English" and whose repertoire of epithets is mostly limited to: "terrific", "terrible", "horrible", "horrific", "wonderful", "tremendous" along with threatening phrases like "watch my words" would do well to ask the ghost-writers to step forward and take a bow.]
© T. Wignesan - Paris, 2017
Free advice to those* who would be King from the THIRUK-KURAL with notes
[*like presidents and prime ministers of declining (falling or fallen) nations]
K381: padaikudi kuulamaiccu nadpuaran aarum
yudaiyaan arasarul eeru
An army, people, wealth, a minister, friends, fort:
Who owns them all, a lion lives amid the kings. (Transl. G.U.Pope)
[army= the most formidable air, sea and land forces; wealth= minus the eighteen (?) trillion debt and not counting his own well-earned piddling billions; a minister=read as Prime Minister (V.P. or Sec. of State?); people=less by three million-odd democratic votes; friends=dwindling, save for staunch Israel by marriage; fort=impenetrable nuclear shield. ]
K448: idippaarai illaatha eemaraa mannan
keduppaar ilaanum kedum
The king, who is without the guard of men who can rebuke him, will perish, even though there be no one to destroy him. (Transl. Drew & Lazarus)
K444: thammit periyaar thamaraa olukuthal
vanmaiyul ellaam thalai
So to act as to make those men, his own, who are greater than himself, is of all power the highest. (Transl. Drew & Lazarus)
K447: idikkum thunaiyarai aalvaarai yaaree
kedukkum thakaimai yavar
Which king who (encourages and) heeds the criticisms* of his henchmen fears conspirators? (Transl. T. Wignesan)
[*not-heeding the advice of Ivanka and son-in-law on climate change commitment in Paris, even if the polls show a majority in favour of polluting the planet.]
K448: iduppaarai illaatha eemaraa mannan
keduppaar ilaanum kedum
The king who insulates himself from his helpers'* critiques will perish even if his enemies left him alone. (Transl. T. Wignesan)
[*the role of the media in keeping the WH incumbents in check, for without the journalists working over-time to whet and wet-blanket the language and blunders, the King would have perished by now.]
K450: pallaar pakaikollin paththaduttha thiimaiththee
nallaar thodarkai vidal
Having to put up with the enmity of legions* is ten times less harmful than forsaking the support of good (impartial) people*.
[*legions= Hillary Clinton and the NDP; *good (impartial) people= like FBI Dir. Comey for one, even if he has an eye (twenty-twenty vision) on the presidency in 2020]
© T. Wignesan - Paris, 2017
All I need, to make me high,
Is a bright sunrise, or sunset sky.
I feel no yearning to be broke
From smoking pot, or snorting coke.
All I need, to make me high,
Is the laugher of a little child.
I have no need to fry my brain
With alcohol or crack cocaine.
All I need, to make me high,
Is a mockingbird, or a butterfly.
I have no need to hasten death,
With heroin, or crystal meth.
But all it takes to make me cry,
Is to see young men and women die.
Accept this free advice I give--
Forgo the drugs, and choose to live.
It's up to you so choose it.
You see which way to go.
How good a person are you?
Is it the high road or the low?
You're faced with many options
that only you can choose.
Some will lead to glory.
Some will make you lose.
Your so-called friends may guide you
down a dark and narrow street
but, when it's done and over,
they'll run from all the heat.
You make your own decisions
because you'll pay the price.
I trust that you can hear me.
Please take this free advice.
You have the chance to choose it.
Don't act like you don't know.
Where is it you will travel,
down the high road or the low?
Precious children in my care
laughed and frolicked, unaware
life would not forever be
simple, fun, and trouble-free.
Care, I’ll give, though they’re no more
unaware of what’s in store.
Be mentor? I will! They need
free advice. Perhaps they’ll heed!
March 1, 2021
entered in Brian Strand's All Yours (March) contest placed 1st
The Plump needs Enduring Exercise
To Excess Weight shed and check size,
I tell you: need to questions ask
For a just confronted task;
Navigator’s Compass arrange
For voyage that over seas range:
Your two legs straighten and back arch
Ahead of a circuitous March;
For The Anonymous Caller,
Calm Ears of one who is taller,
Priming them for Threats or Shy Love
To Caller: “You’re The One above!’’
Surely, one needs Balanced Diet
For relevance in A Riot…
All these Free Advice to revise
And their testing a means devise.
Welcome to the illicit villa
Where people come and go
A brief warmth of the palm
A touchy heart, a hearty laugh
Then out through the elusive door
Customary customers they are called,
All young and old
Accommodations are provided
Free advice and service for all
Short of mannequins? Just give us a call!
We are your humble servants
Blood, tears and gall
And the young ones
Oh, the tunneled youths
Passion burn like head of matchsticks
Uneven mushrooms they sprout
Under veils of deceiving shade
Growing too fast for their own liking
And yes, the pillars
Who can forget the pillars?
Stay rooted despite the trouble
Though the sky’s a grey all faded
Though the Sun all sullen and jaded
Unfazed by daunting clouds of doubts
Oh, they know no passion
Can’t stop the door from shutting
The cold wind whistles through
A pipe of melancholy, when all remains true
What’s unbecoming cannot be undone
To fade away
With the wind of passion
To be enslave in an unbroken faith
The freedom to stay
The choice is ours to take…
These days it's clearly the fashion
To tell college grads: "Follow your passion."
Yet consider this quick note of caution:
Make sure with your passion you'll cash in.
For Example:
What if your passion is playing trombone?
You spend years and years trying to hone
The skill to emit the purest of tones;
But will you reap what you've sown?
Or simply work your fingers to the bone,
So you can stand in line for a loan?
Remember:
In life it pays to be practical,
Neither over didactical or under tactical;
For it not, the consequences
Tend to be quite 'dramatical,'
Or possibly morbidly theatrical.
Bottom Line:
So when deciding on what occupation to make your splash in,
Do not necessarily follow your passion,
Especially if it's something quite asinine.
Sign up instead for MY 'profession:'
Do as I say, not what you're best in!
I can't live in mystery
I'm waiting with bated breath
Where and when I'll stand or fall --
The hour of my death --
The facts of life are meaningless
There is no moral code
There may or may not be another side
Til then, get outta the road
Go ahead
Explain it away
I can't take the riddles
Quit knocking on my door
Stop advertising free advice
It isn't what I came here for
S'posed to write an indispensable memoir
An illegible tome of shame
People keep on interrupting
Tomorrow, it'll be the same
The same old scrutinizing
The same old sphere of doubt
Some miracles are worth baptising
But they're the kind we tend to throw out
Explain it all away --
Tear the cathedral down
We're pining for something long since gone
You can sense it just by
Sense it just by
Sense it just by looking around
Go 'head,
Explain it away.
The day my life went ape ‘chit’ in no more than three-hundred words
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch counts
And pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis works wonders
When I am asked to write a poem that is either precise or reductionist
Thus I report from my personal lock down epicentre of home isolation
With free advice to conquer the gremlins of free speech and contagion
Firstly pretend you are German because one compound nouns fills a page
Then rediscover hyphenation and have a match with auto-correct settings
Or pick up the challenge and find those scrabble pieces under the couch
Next to valuable coins a few toe-nails or belly-ring to gather your thoughts
Pasta shapes with letters and letterpress cookies are essential food items
You will find them on shelves in shops where the loo roll had previously been
On that delicate matter it might be worthwhile to consider what colloquy
You can fit on a single ply sheet used sparingly on both sides in dire need
Word counts are useful to pass the twenty seconds it takes to wash hands
But remember to spell hyphenation-control-centre with a dash of content
Consider that a pencil is sharp on one end if you poke fun on the toilet
My wife still bears a charcoal tattoo from when a soft roll in satin sheets
Gifted an indelible reminder that pleasure and pain work hand in hand
A carefully calligraphed dot to dot surely trumps auto-generated novels
Unwrap fortune cookies and proof read for the true meaning of spells
Whatever tickles your fanny until cohabitational glow fades in the face
Of adversity calling for regaining control over figures of speechlessness
Blank page …?
One last piece of counsel and guidance for a true minimalist poet or scribe
‘I love you’ works well all you have to do is repeat one-hundred times
28th March 2020
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochis the name of a
small town in the North of Wales
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis lurks in the shadow of corona
Poem written for Caren Krutsinger's contest 'The day my life went whacko'
Word count exactly three hundred words
Does anyone else agree with me
Don't you just hate to answer the phone
When you're sitting down to eat at night
They just cannot leave us alone
I'm talking about all those people
Trying to sell things all day long
They call them telemarkerters
And their timing is always wrong
You may be in the throne room
When your telephone starts to ring
You stump your toe on the way to the phone
Then you really start to sing
They don't all speak the same language
And they're hard to understand
When we tell them we don't need it
It turns to a demand
And never ask them a question
Or your life will be on hold
They have to go get the supervisor
To get that product sold
So the next time someone calls you
Take some free advice
It's OK to hang up on them
As long as you do it Nice
The clown in him thought, 'It's Limerick Time!'
Couldn't come up with a single darn line --
Poor guy racked his brain
Went nearly insane --
Saw that the second darn line didn't rhyme
He decided to write him a sonnet
Texted Shakespeare for free advice on it --
Willy didn't text back
Our friend thought, 'What a hack' --
Have to place a bee in the Bard's bonnet