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The day my life went ape ‘chit’ in no more than three-hundred words

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch counts

And pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis works wonders

When I am asked to write a poem that is either precise or reductionist


Thus I report from my personal lock down epicentre of home isolation

With free advice to conquer the gremlins of free speech and contagion

Firstly pretend you are German because one compound nouns fills a page

Then rediscover hyphenation and have a match with auto-correct settings


Or pick up the challenge and find those scrabble pieces under the couch

Next to valuable coins a few toe-nails or belly-ring to gather your thoughts

Pasta shapes with letters and letterpress cookies are essential food items

You will find them on shelves in shops where the loo roll had previously been


On that delicate matter it might be worthwhile to consider what colloquy

You can fit on a single ply sheet used sparingly on both sides in dire need

Word counts are useful to pass the twenty seconds it takes to wash hands

But remember to spell hyphenation-control-centre with a dash of content


Consider that a pencil is sharp on one end if you poke fun on the toilet

My wife still bears a charcoal tattoo from when a soft roll in satin sheets

Gifted an indelible reminder that pleasure and pain work hand in hand

A carefully calligraphed dot to dot surely trumps auto-generated novels


Unwrap fortune cookies and proof read for the true meaning of spells

Whatever tickles your fanny until cohabitational glow fades in the face

Of adversity calling for regaining control over figures of speechlessness

Blank page …?


One last piece of counsel and guidance for a true minimalist poet or scribe

‘I love you’ works well all you have to do is repeat one-hundred times


28th March 2020


Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochis the name of a 

small town in the North of Wales

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis lurks in the shadow of corona

Poem written for Caren Krutsinger's contest 'The day my life went whacko'

Word count exactly three hundred words

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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