The Perils of Medicating a Cat

'Tis well known that when medicating cats they can become rather crabby, So, this free advice is provided when feeding pills to the family tabby. As if holding a baby, cradle the cat in the crook of your left arm. (Wrapping both arms with towels wouldn't do any harm!) Putting pressure to the cheeks, open his mouth, jamming the pill down his maw. (Apply bandages to the gashes on your jaw left by Felix's lethal paw!) Since he wouldn't swallow the pill, pick up the soggy mess from the floor, And try to tackle the little rascal as he streaks for the open door! Next, kneel on the floor with the cat firmly gripped between your thighs. (Enlisting your spouse's aid to subdue the critter would be very wise!) Place the pill on the end of a drinking straw and blow it down his pharynx. (Taking care not to swallow the pill yourself or damage his delicate larynx!) After using naughty and nasty language that is here best left unsaid, And coaxing the rowdy patient from beneath the king-sized bed, Try forcing his clamped jaws open with a handy tablespoon. (Then, pick up the shattered vases that all about the room are strewn!) After chasing the scoundrel around the neighborhood on an exciting spree, The fire department should be called to rescue Felix from the neighbor's tree! Then, call the local animal control people to pick up the cat from hell! Later, call the pet store to see if they have gerbils, fish or parakeets to sell! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved