Best Freaked Out Poems
A collaboration by Tania Kitchin, Lin Lane, Jan Allison and me that was inspired by Charles Messina's recent POTD.
It's a pooper scooper; that's what we need
But I doubt they will willingly concede
It'll take jury and judge
for those who refuse to budge
No matter how many of us agreed.
Cara never wrote an honest line
Her poems just stink, they're not sublime
They all just reek like poo
Should be flushed down the loo
Needs to stop stealing poems online
Ken was so ill, thought he had a bad flu
And freaked out when he saw his poo was blue
He went to have some tests,
Praying his bowels rest
Told he ate too many berries, who knew
Poor Tania's cat pooped on the floor
Then wiped it's butt on the loo door
It's too late in the night
To see this poopy sight
Cat faeces in house folk abhor!
She lets her dog out for a pee
When under a bush she can see
A skunk ready to spray
She gets her dog away
Phew! no skunk spray on poor Ziggy.
I suggest the site be fumigated
For some who need to read it translated...
"People who post their poop
Don't belong in our group"
Hope this current trend becomes abated.
In the past folks wrote their own poetry
On display for the whole wide world to see
But many are quite sly
Use robots and AI
It's cheating and reeks of dishonesty.
Written on 4th September 2026
A movie, oh wow, when one need not be Woke!
A girl was a girl, a bloke was a bloke.
I forget I was born when times were free.
Not under pressure of societal perversity.
We had jobs, were not weird and went to school.
We had nothing free, we were not governments’
tools.
Remember when schools were open and all stores, too.
We were not Covid,freaked-out-masked fools?
Nor were our teachers the government’s tools!
Our parents taught us ethics and rules!
We did not live on cold social platforms.
We lived and loved in freedom, that was the norm!
One could tell clearly, who was a girl or boy.
There were no “man- buns”,a welcomed joy!
Hope America returns to that sense of joy.
When it’s acceptable to be the sex you were born,
either girl or boy!
Notes: Ideas from the movie.
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, 1982
Sean Penn, Phoebe Cates, Jennifer Jason
Leigh.
so last night I was just sittin there, right?
and outta nowhere this huge, like,
demonic-millipede devil-thing
was right there on my computer desk, like wriggling towards me -
- ...well not nearly as bad as YOUR desk always was - oh my!
that thing was a pile of travesty!
- yeah yeah. anyway,
the thing about it was how random it was,
ya know, like, both of us were just doin’ our own thing,
then BAM!,
we were staring at each other.
- I just sat there really still.
I wanted a peaceful resolution to the whole thing-
- ...but yeah, I guess I knew that wasn't going to happen.
So at some point it just freaked out,
weaving around the dishes
and papers or whatever.
So I waited for a clear shot
and when it was near the side-edge, near the book-
- yep, your old bookcase,
which, I might add, you NEVER USED…
- so ok, I eyed it up, ya know,
built my courage, slipper in hand,
and when I attacked
it was a direct hit
and this thing just went nuts,
like spazzed out, twisting around on itself
and, get this, it actually JUMPED across the gap and went somewhere in there...
- I know! and I was NOT about to go poking around
for some vengeful godzilla bug!
melt me with laser eyes or something…
- …but, yeah, isn’t that just a horrible feeling? like,
is it still out there?
is it alive?
it's gonna come and get me when I'm sleeping or something, ugh.
- …but the thing is, ya know, devil bug or not,
I actually hope that it didn’t suffer.
- …Yeah, I mean, did it deserve it? No.
It was just this unfortunate situation that neither of us could control.
- ...you know what it reminded me of when it jumped?
remember those mathematical knots we were so into? - ...
…yes. Before you left.
Do I Still Dream
dreams !
do i still dream?
not without tears in my big brown watered eyes
not without a blindside heavy blacked heart
and not without thinking I've lost
the best years of my life
that I never had
what a waste of time
to cry over time that
has been stolen
but it is my time
and
I soak the time away
in my own tears of
lost unknown could
have been moments
and I push it back
and it pushes up over
my cracked
soul
moving up over my head
inching slowly
seconds by slow second
stretching over my pined shoulders
on its way to crushing my chest
with all my freaked out fears
till I'm caved over in some
out in out mind dance
and tears are raining
all over my feet
that if my chest wasn't in the way!
and I thing
what the hell
I am great
at least in my
could have been dreams
and maybe someday
someone will know
it too
maybe it will someday be you
Surrender to rhythmic initiations,
Moan and groan with accusations,
In foreplay rushes see passion release;
Intoned rumble in her fermented pleas.
Fulcrum strokes in the crazy display,
Freaked-out embedded techniques?
Rapture tunes these percussion beats,
Anticipation bolts in delight of thrill meets.
Love squeals in her ecstasy shrieks,
Quivers torment the resonating geeks,
Smitten desire bitten and tweaked,
Brimming lust probes petals sweet.
"G" flows on high in the heated pitch,
Pulse and quakes in the drum stick glitch,
Bewitching thump and the hard kicks
Drum-rolls tenderness to my tricks:
From my window, darkness was quickly descending.
Costumed creatures were walking about, pretending
to be goblins and ghosts, expecting me to be scared
and totally freaked out, for which I was not prepared.
I'd been warned about evil spirts on Halloween night,
and vampires rising from coffins to give my neck a bite,
but no one had cautioned me, "Beware the living dead!"
I laughed it off and scoffed at a zombie's decayed head.
Around me creepy crawlers slithered. I felt an eerie chill.
but I was trick-or-treating for candy; my bag I'd yet to fill.
Across the blood red moon, flew witches in pointed hats.
Their dark silhouettes joined by a flock of shrieking bats!
I saw a man dressed as a baby, but he looked like a brute.
He growled at me, so I ran as he chased me in hot pursuit.
I thought I'd be attacked when suddenly there appeared
skeletons whose clicking bones pointed at me and jeered.
With worry I started thinking, Could these things be real?
Something nibbled on my hair. How horrid it made me feel!
I went to a house with a porch light, hoping for Tootsie Rolls,
but screamed when in the open door stood sneering Trolls.
I tried to convince myself that this was just some silly hoax,
by friends trying to make me cower with their wicked jokes.
With a bit of bravado, I rang another doorbell, undaunted,
but fled again when I saw signs that the house was haunted.
How I wished for the power to fly away on a witch's broom
and escape the macabre apparitions on this night of gloom.
Now filled with trepidation and dread, I darn near fainted
wondering if the sweet treats I'd collected were all tainted.
Somehow, I managed to make it home but could not sleep.
Snarls from under my bed gave me goosebumps, skin-deep.
October 22, 2022 ~ Halloween Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Emile Pinet
she freaked out
gladiolus and ring
he on his knees
~~~~~~~~
2016-01-22
Today I boarded an aeroplane for the very first time
but things didn't go too well...
As I stepped into the entrance
I stumbled , I tripped and I fell,
as I crashed to the floor,
it made an almighty sound,
when I looked up
there were faces staring from all around.
More embarrassed I could not have been,
with my legs akimbo,
all must've seen.
there I laid in a heap in the middle of the aisle,
must've only been a minute or two
but it felt like quite a while.
The more I struggled to get up,
the more embarrassed I became,
I finally made it to my seat
and could have died from all the shame.
The flight attendant came over and whispered ...
" Are you alright "?
She handed me a Brandy and said " Relax and enjoy the flight ".
Before I knew it,
I had knocked back the drink...
So I ordered more,
quicker than you could blink.
The booze wasn't helping,
so I took the Drs Pill,
I'd got for good measure.
because it was then that I freaked out,
thinking that we'd lost cabin pressure.
Then I swear I saw a creature jumping around on the wing
but that was due to me nodding off
remembering a film that I had seen.
When the pilot finally announced
we were coming into land,
I got that excited ,
I grabbed the person next to me's hand.
I dont think I'll ever fly again,
especially on my own,
instead I'll watch travel shows
from the safety of my home.
The mirror in the other room
has recently filled me with gloom.
One early morn I looked in it
and got freaked out; I looked like S@%#T!
Light so dim revealed the reflection of my doom.
(It was truly freaky that one day. I really hate the mirror in that room!
Gotta get me a prescription of Retin-A right away!)
9/5/14 by Andrea Dietrich
for nette onclaud's Reflection of a Florette Poetry Contest
I heat up the stove and throw oil in the pan
I watch as the grease pop
Here comes the eggs man
Don't let the cooking stop
Once the egg is nice and fried
I slam the bacon down nice and calm
I burnt the egg so I slowly cried
as it sizzled and popped just like a bomb
I rushed to the fridge to grab the cheese
I ran to the toaster to toast my bread
Sadly I tripped and slammed my knees
I might as well be dead
I got up so the bacon wouldn't burn
and flipped it over
making sure each side gets a turn
I finally finished cooking all the food
Made the sandwich to the inch of perfection
I freaked out because I saw this disgusting dude
I then noticed it was just my reflection
This was the perfect sandwich, I know I'm right
I smiled, the scent of the meat lingers
I saw a large greasy hand come into sight
And rip it away from my fingers
I screamed as he bit into it
"Don't eat anymore of it, I forbid!"
I begged and begged for him to quit
He finished the rest of it, I really hate my kid.
Me and my sweetheart
Went out on a date
We were just Kids
With no money to spend
After strolling for a while
We stopped in a desert alley
“Let’s park here” he said…
It was a library parking lot, for chrissake!!
It was night, the streets desert
Then we start to make out
Kisses here, kisses there
I heard a sudden noise and got scared
It was a loud bang
Right on my window
My heart was beating so loud
I thought it would blow out
There was someone outside
Trying to open my door
I could see a gun thru the glass
I was too freaked out to process
Then I heard the shout…
“Police, get out!”
I took a deep breath and opened my door
On jelly legs I got out of the car
The officer wanted my docs
I was so screwed if my mom found out
My sweetheart was great
And convinced the cops
To not press charges
Or calling our parents
The night ended like that
But I got the scare
OF A LIFETIME… right there!
****
January 22, 2017
3rd place in the Contest LETTING YOUR HAIR DOWN
Sponsored by: Frank Herrera
I was enjoying myself in a bubble bath, as suddenly, a mouse dropped in.
Maybe I would of panicked, but she swam immediately, to the other end!
I suddenly felt so sorry for my, now clean, little, cutsey, mouse, that…
I stretched out my washcloth, by the edges, to lift her carefully, out, no doubt!
As she reached the rim, lickety split, she bounded out, so sweet.
And I settled down, again, to finish my enjoyable, bathy treat.
Suddenly, a thought arose… after getting her out, to my relief…
Suddenly I Shuttered, with the thought that, ‘what if she had pee’d’.
So I shot out of the tub, quivering all over… from head to toe.
I let the water out so fast, and scrubbed it with bleach, quite so!
Then, I called, to borrow, the neighbors tub… I was THAT freaked out!
She said yes, and had quite a laugh, at the antics of my little mouse, fallout!
But heading over, I met someone, on the way… Yep! The MOUSE, again!
And how did I know it was, the one in the same, you say? Well, now, I can grin!
She had a fetching, little bubble bath hat! Yep! We’d both been trying to get away!
Poor little thing had been just as disturbed, as me, as we’d scurried about, that day.
So I turned back to my very own tub… Thanking God that my little friend …
Had definitely decided, not to stay! And here my tale does end!
For the: Reinvent Contest from ‘Strange Bathfellows’
Pish Posh, I was taking a bawth round about half past three
When all of a sudden in my window I spied a man in a tree
He was leering and when
I looked back again
Pish Posh, he was gone, guess he freaked out at the size of my weenie
(Thanks to my new friend, Lin Lane)
© Jack Ellison 2015
Sitting on the chair ,combing her lustrous hair
awaiting for her love to caress her,
lost in the thoughts of their togetherness.
But suddenly the room turned dark,
she heard footsteps and through the
light from the windows she could see a shadow
she jumped on to her chair with fast pounding heart
and felt a tap on the shoulder,freaked out
looked at the person--
it was her BOSS who woke her up from her fantasy,
looking furious ,asked her to finish the project.
PS:
Written for the contest:Visualize,scrutinize and Remark
Written Date:11-3-2016
Would it help to say I’m sorry
about the misery I brought?
I never wanted to hurt you,
whether you believe that or not.
I’m not happy seeing you cry,
fueling anxiety’s climb.
And I’ll disappear from your life
if you say, I'm wasting my time.
You must believe that I acted
like I did because I love you.
And I thought if I felt that way,
naturally, you loved me too.
I never thought for a moment
that you'd fall for another man.
And when I saw him kissing you,
I freaked out, and he up and ran.
I can't say I'm sorry he left,
but I'm sorry I made him flee.
And I’m begging you on my knees,
please darling, can you forgive me?
(Quatrain)
2/16/2015