Best Conditioner Poems

~TAKE MY MONEY ~

Crimson Joy, L'Oreal Lips, DOLCE & GABBANA eyewear 
Mascara from beyond LONDON Bridges
Like the pretty face found in front of Vanity Fair
What can I say? Perfect -- goes with my daily addiction

A beautiful morning cup, STARBUCKS got my money
It's not more or...

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Coconut tropical oil 
Glistening on my skin
The scent intoxicates me
As I bask in the sun
And drink in the beauty
Of the sparkling Mediterranean Sea

It’s only for a short while
That I will lie here
And only because
I want to feel the power of the sun
As it makes love...

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Men enjoy the smell of Camel cigarettes at the check-in counter
just like they enjoy the sound of bones tapping on wood 
in the late AM in the hallways. Stilettos are from God. 

Then, the slow tapping at his door. The heart beats more.
The drunkenness of...

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Glory to thermodynamics in general...

and generation of heat in particular
cuz yours truly 
spoiled with trappings 
of Western Civilization.

How ideal I imagine 
to dwell in a self sufficient domicile,
where thrum of the central heater...
automatically activated 
upon advent of twilight,
or self adjusted/regulated 
based on outside temperature 
since...

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We live as kings and queens of yesterday could only dream
   Central heat, plumbing, air-conditioning, washers and dryers too
We shower once or twice a day, with conditioner and shampoo
   Steak every night should we want it, followed by cake and ice...

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Determined to see Wimble done
She turned on her TV for fun
Net Assault
Thump Thump "Fault!"
Ilene's air conditioner won!...

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My husband John and I
We're sitting down for tea,
Suddenly I spied
Something black in front of me
John put down his teacup
And with a look of complete surprise
Said, "What was that black thing
That flashed before my eyes?"

The black thing whizzed across the room
Then disappeared out of sight,
We...

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"Papyrus, Lapis Lazuli and the Valley of the Kings - Part 1"
 
“Tell me about the Valley of the Kings”, her lips moved speaking 
to someone, 
sitting somewhere 
on the other side of the Glass Onion, 
she hit enter and waited
and waited 
it was clearly...

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Some pretty brown birds nesting on a tree
Prank frequently at my other room balcony
Apparently, they were once the main culprits
Of messing it up, bringing a variety of leaves and twigs

They also build thin nests behind my air conditioner
When an egg drops, they may reckon I’m...

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Ah, the glorious damned winter
and the inviting  
gray chill in the air.
I meander 
ever 
so
slowly 
past lawns
strewn 
with a cluttered array
of pagan snow zombies -
staring blankly,
as I obliterate pint-sized
snow angels 
failing to don halos
that could have easily been
brush stroked with 
da Vinci's golden teardrops.

(Impoverished...

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If I were the King of the Forest 

I,d have a laptop installed in every tree

a GPS for lionesses

 robots for cleaning messes

there'd be no need for marking territory with pee 

If I were the King of the Forest

 I,d stop this stuff of parading...

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I Hate Home Depot!

I hate Home Depot!
Just the sight of that
orange and white sign
makes my stomach turn.

However I know every
square inch of that store,
I’ve spent
thousands of hours there
as a paying customer.

I know what all is in the
garden section for all of the seasons.
I know where...

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JIMMY CARTER
There's so many shortages
we don't know what to do
we're outa gas and coffee beans
and outa money, too.
The congress hasn't been much help
and peanuts just won't do,
so Jimmy please be good for us, 
and we'll be good for you!
Well my car's a little bit
extravegant, I...

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I woke up that morning in the usual way,
stretching and yawning, ready to start the day...
but for some reason today
feeling a sense of dread…
Because I looked at the clock
and saw it was late, got up quickly,
and fell out of bed..
Showered and towel dried my hair,
then...

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click click, click click, tick-tock, tick-tock,
the clock seems to tick not as fast as one wants,
the air conditioner stops now they can hear you chew, 
after the first week, you knew this wasn't the right job for you.

two years go by, collectively this repetition makes...

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