Best Cleaned Out Poems
The mean old housecat has bulgy eyes
when she looks at us in our fish bowl
Oh, how much we've come to despise
that big mouth of hers, the black hole
Poised to pounce with sharpened claws
She's taking jabs with hatred brimming
that ugly feline beast with drooling jaws
for us little fishes, innocently swimming
Our little bowl is cosy, room for only two
bad kitty on the outside, always looking in
If her paw ever grabs us, what are we to do
we’d be much safer in a smelly sardine tin!
If she ever catches us, we’ve got big troubles
perhaps in her dreams she sees us as fat trout
In fear we produced a stream of gassy bubbles
If only our owner would give bad kitty a clout!
All the chaos made us soil ourselves with poop
so we let that mean old cat feast on a tasty treat
When her nasty tongue slurped intestinal goop
the beast screeched in horror! Revenge is sweet!
Our owner came home and cleaned out the bowl
Soon we returned to our safe sweet smelling home
Kitty got banned but can see us through the keyhole
Now we don’t suffer from irritable bowl syndrome!
My alarm clock was set to go off at eight
When I lurched out of bed oh heck I was late
Forgot to move on the clock for an hour
I was late for work – no time for a shower
I dashed to get dressed at the speed of light
My son was laughing - he could see my plight
I ran to the bathroom to clean my teeth and face
My car keys were hiding, not in their usual place
Ran to the car in my receptionist attire
To my horror I found I had a flat tyre
Got out the jack and changed the spare wheel
Jumped in the car how the tyres did squeal
Drove to the office into the parking lot
But why it was empty – oh no I forgot….
Bank holiday the first week of May
BOTHERATION was all I could say
Drove home slowly, just like a snail
Just in time to open the mail
Then I did:
The washing and ironing,
cleaning and cooking,
(had a few chocolates when no one was looking)
the weeding and hoeing,
planted some seeds that needed sowing,
washed the car and mowed the lawn
then to the hairdresser to have my hair shorn,
sat down with a book and had a cup of tea -
need a bit of time relaxation for me,
Then I
washed and dried the dishes,
cleaned out and fed the kid’s goldfishes
bathed the kids and made them a snack
got in the shower and rubbed my aching back
adjusted the alarm for the right time in the morning
crawled into bed and then started snoring
Tomorrow when I go back into work
I won’t tell them my error or I’ll look a jerk!
05~11~15
Fictional write for Contest: Today I Accomplished
Sponsor Sara Kendrick
Oh, yes, Darling! Please meet me up the street, in fifteen minutes, right past the old tan house with that porch, bamboo.
We need to talk about things, you and me, without your mean relatives, and that includes your cousin Ted Stew.
I’d gladly trade this car for a completely untarnished marriage certificate, cleaned out of the day-old flu.
But, fiance’, dearest, you have yet to show me your love nest, your side honey, or your super-secret tattoo,
So now that you realize I might cost you money, you love me forever, and think you can let go and forget the Queen of Vooody-Voo- Doo?
Sure, Sweet Darling. Being pre reasonable, I would certainly like to review our marriageable status, and begin trusting you anew.
Of course, we had better hurry, so we get this trust thing sorted, and my family decides to re-include you,
I do not think any love-you-forever ceremony, fancy hall, or wedding vows I will seriously pursue.
If you decide to take the challenge, there on the steps wearing their juiciest smiles, are my mother, Grandma Kell and cousin Lou.
Sure, they do all have guns, permits, frying pans, and razors. Confidentially, they’re in a hum dinger of a stew about you too.
What more can I do, Sugar Bear? I’ve led you right to them, right up these pretty blue and white steps, and frankly, honey, it’s the best thing I could ever do.
So saying, I guess all my relatives are ready to talk and slap and pinch and punch, and fight and scrap, and kick, because they’re sort of mad you made me so blue.
Bye, Sweetie. I’m off for the weekend with my new honey, Rick, a gentle, kind, God-fearing man, who doesn’t want to stick around to see what they’re going to do.
This old house is a mystery,
it is filled with lots of history.
It needs to be cleaned out,
now what are we going to talk about?
Let's go to the big closet,
mom made this her big bank deposit.
Look a very old dusty shoebox,
wow!!! is it Ralph our pet blue fox?
Tis a lovely day for students are glad
The last day of the school year is anything but sad
No more assignments to study nor papers to write
Students can deal with William Shakespeare at next year’s fight
Textbooks have been returned and stored away
Lockers are cleaned out with nothing to stay
The students rejoice with the last bell’s ringing
But the teachers are doing a happy dance
And tis they who are doing all the singing!!
A renegade came in on his horse from the west
With spurs on his boots and a fringe on his vest;
The tilt of his hat was folly's own heat
And his engraved boots were full of big feet;
His carved leather belt held pistols and things
And an old deck of cards held aces and kings.
Lovely Juliette sat there feeling remorse
When the dude came in riding on a black horse;
Her loveliness gave him a heart felt glow
And he reigned in his horse with a powerful "Whoa";
Then he turned to the woman with an ecstatic smile
And boldly asked if he could stay awhile.
With flustered mind she blinked eyes in fright
But Juliette smiled and said that he might;
So in through the entrance rode the mysterious dude
With a proud mind and feeling a bit lewd;
He strode up to the landlord and cleaned out the bar
And the landlord threatened to coat him with tar;
The judge banged his gavel and charged him for same
Then the renegade left and rode off with his dame.
What do computers daydream about?
Do they wish they talk back or shout?
Without a disc drive,
It would not survive,
I’m sure it does hate to be cleaned out!
Wonder what floats above in the cloud,
a long nap, is it even allowed?
“shut off my darn screen!
You’re only thirteen!
Stupid YouTube is up way too loud!!!”
I’m sure it gets sick of that Minecraft,
it would much rather float on a raft,
videos and games,
life’s just not the same,
“now kids pick me over doing crafts!”
Sincere photos and cards are printed,
a cute little game played by a kid,
“sometimes it’s worth it,
they quietly sit…
but I wanna close just one eyelid!”
Remember Commodore Sixty-Four?
“The good old days! I wish I had more!
Way before email,
was slow as a snail,
what’s all this technology good for???”
“Please press the button for pause or mute,
even though you think my mouse is cute,
I’m so tired tonight,
Laura, p l e a s e don't write...
too exhausted to even compute!”
*Written to my poor, worn out and exhausted 4 year old laptop who just told me last night he is almost too pooped to participate*
Date Written: August 20, 2016
It's my fifth day of unemployment
and I'm going a little bit crazy.
I'd expected to sit around and relax
and in general behave quite lazy.
Day one, I made a scrapbook
and rearranged all my craft totes.
Day two I cleaned out bird cages
and started writing pre-Christmas notes.
Shopping is done and put away.
Outside Christmas lights are shining.
I fear I'm running out of projects
and for my job I am pining.
A second scrapbook has been started,
a nine hundred page book's nearly read.
I've not even made it through week one
so the next five weeks I now dread.
I vowed I'd wait 'til the new year
before looking for another career.
Six weeks off seemed reasonable, at the time,
but my resolve is failing I fear.
These little projects keep me busy.
They keep my mind occupied for awhile.
If I tell you I'm enjoying this holiday,
well now you know , I'm just in denial.
Who hasn’t heard of the Nigerian Letter or the Australian Lottery won?
So what about you’re kids in college… what for them is going on?
My son found a job posted on the University’s Nursing jobs bulletin Board.
Apparently several students applied to take care of an old man coming into town.
They were each approved separately, and then sent a check…
Plus a list of nursing supplies and a wheel chair they had to pay for and pick up.
Apparently, the place to work with had already been set up.
Once everything was paid for, they were ready for the job.
Instead all they got was their accounts cleaned out.
And the Nursing supplies were another part of the scam, my dear.
In the end the money they had was gone with everything saved from the student loans.
Now the problem was made and you know what? Guess who didn’t care?
The police, University, and bank said it happens all the time.
Of course they turned away saying it wasn’t their concern.
The bank told my son he owed $3400 more, even through he was the victim of the fraud.
The Banks fraud department yawned and said they wouldn’t look into what was done.
In fact, they were sending his accounts into collections to attack him even more.
Slough it off, and attack the victim, and of course none of them would do their work.
Mail fraud, money fraud, and con men involved… across state lines meant nothing at all.
Attacking the victim is not where the Banks, police, and university belong.
So let me tell you The States’ Attorney General is the next on the list.
The Attorney General and the Federal Government is where to go, my friend.
Don’t give up on the internet, there are help groups there, that abound.
Tell your children of the game… to keep them far away.
The bank wants my son’s next student loan money for collections on the debt…
And he will have to work full time at minimum wage to survive.
You might say everything at the moment… is truly upside down.
But we will fight unendingly… to straighten everyone out…
What a Christmas job deal breaker… and what a way to find out…
THE POOP OF LIFE
The poop word is a replacement
For the other four letter word
You know the one that means poop
The one you have most likely heard
There is a lot of poop in our life
That is really like our body poop
Both are really a necessity for living
Let me give you the comparison scoop
The type of food taken in your body
Or what is fed into your life for you
Will certainly determine precisely
What type of poop you’re getting in to
If you let the poop get all built up
You tend to want to push and strain
In hopes to hurry and force it out
That can only cause cramps and pain
Slow down and take a deep breath
It really is always best to just relax
The more you try to lighten up yourself
The easier it will be for the poop to pass
It’s time to worry if you have no poop
Or if you just can’t get that poop out
Keep it fresh and make room for more
It feels great when it is all cleaned out
A stall full of poop has the best worker
As Proverbs 14:4 suggestively does say
So a good worker does poop a lot
Please don’t let it pile up for days
No one wants to step in your poop
Or even wants to see it for that matter
We need to clean up our own poop
Every little particle or a tiny splatter
It is important to remember
To always wipe twice
It’s like double checking
And it’s really the best advice
If the same old poop is left
Just everywhere lying around
It only attracts the flies and scum
Those pests from every part of town
At times there may be a lot
Of just stinky hot air
Then sometimes you get
The real poop coming there
There are many different types
Of shapes, sizes and textures
With the daily poop we’re given
The variety of life is measured
I could probably go on and on
Even you may think of more, I know
So I’ll leave you with this one last note
Try not to get caught in deep poop though
Florence McMillian (Flo)
"Father does not see the mournful sad tears,
that fall on a mossy stone;
O, my broken heart bleeds."
And I recall running into your open arms a little girl innocent,
You were the first man I loved, and will always be special;
The older I get, the smarter you seem to have been back then,
My anchor, my rock, my protector, my security, my Dad.
Can I ever forget our walks hand-in-hand, in parks and woods,
You taught me to love nature and to see with eyes open;
Hours we would sit on a park bench watching life drifting by,
And I would ask you all kinds of silly little girl questions.
Even in death you are my guiding light, my safe harbour,
You left me suddenly I never got to say, I love you Dad;
Tearfully, I asked you to forgive me as I held your cold hand,
If I hurt you sorry, I forgive you also for harsh words.
I remember bringing you hot cups of tea out to your workshop,
Sitting beside you at your dusty, cobwebby workbench;
Admiring your many rows and rows of tin cans and old bottles,
You were always asking Mom for some kind of container.
Mom said, you kept every nail, screw or bolt you ever met,
And I would add, and every board too, and we would laugh;
It was me who cleaned out the workshop, O, the stabbing pain,
I lingered there for days touching things you touched.
Dear LORD, please take care of my Daddy till I get to heaven,
Dad, I brought you a dew-kissed yellow rose from my garden;
Of all the flowers Mother grew, you loved the yellow roses best,
Laying it gently down on your tomb, I walk away with pride.
It was on that same workbench that I picked up your pencil,
On the day of your death, I wrote a poem about my Daddy;
And that day I left the child that was me behind and became of poet,
An hour after your death in that workshop I found my Muse.
____________________________________
December 31, 2015
Poetry/Kimo/Verse/Daddy
Copyright Protected, ID 15-740-246-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
For the contest, Tell Us About Your Dad,
sponsor, Judy Konos
First Place
Robb Wilkins took three showers a day
he overdid some things he'd say.
But alas to his strain
less of him did remain
until he showered himself away.
Shortly after studying consciousness for a few years, It dawned on me why going with my grandfather to clean our pasture spring was such a strong memory.
grandfather
tossing hat on a branch
kneels
As I watched the brown leaves and small limbs being cleaned out, I dimly understood that this was a kind of truth, which I finally realized a few years ago. Cleaning the spring I felt was similar to clearing the detritus from consciousness to experience the clarity.
red salamanders
clean cold clear water
bubbles from source
No, never retired,
Only refired.
Zooming down life's highway
With Jesus, the Life, the Truth, the Way
We've given our pact
To serve God with more tact
So make a "peep" and we'll find you
Multitudes, not just a few
Take a deep gulp of Living Water
Be refreshed, never falter
Receive the joy of salvation
The Lord of every nation
Are we old,
Shifting sand or gold?
Precious life has given wisdom
Many stories of the Kingdom
the sand cleaned out
The gold stout
Through the fires and the storm
Whether night or morn
We will rest and pray
Trust God every day
Fearless and love inspired
Never to be retired.
Plastic in the plastic bin
Aluminum in another
Food scrapes for compost
Paper bound tight
Glass goes where the glass goes
Am I saving the world
Does it make a difference
Am I doing alright
I cleaned out our bedroom
And found a picture of you
The one with that sly smile
Just a picture of you
I know we parted
I know it was right
But why do I know
I'll stare at your picture all night
Is there a way to recycle
A broken heart
Can you salvage
Each memory broken apart
Can I put in a bin
The first time we kissed
Can I tie and bind away
Every dream every hope every wish
Maybe some other lovers
Can find the treasure we had
Maybe they can reuse our love
And make each other glad
Is there a way to recycle
Love gone bad
Such a waste, hard to replace
When happiness turns sad
Recycling recycling
That's what the world needs
Don't throw love away
Reuse it it's okay
For a love that once was strong
If dusted and cleaned
Can shine in new hearts
That's the magic of recycling.