Best Castration Poems
"Love Me Or Hate Me" ~ Says the Limerick
I am only five lines written for fun
Mocking someone with foolish words of pun
Love 'em or hate 'em
You praise or condemn
A poetry form some call "hit and run"
Some think of me as inconsequential
To the haughty I am nonessential
It's a thought I refute
And would gladly dispute
Cuz nothing I say is confidential
I read Jan's limericks about Tess Tickle
But did you know Tess spent her last nickle
Buying new underwear
Cause she hadn't a spare
She kept leaking in some sort of trickle
Tess had a good friend with the name of Neve
Cheated by keeping aces up her sleeve
She thought she was smart
Until she got caught
That taught her it doesn't pay to decieve
And then there was the one they called Maisy
Made faces that caused her to look crazy
One day her eye got stuck
And she looked like a duck
So now everyone calls her Miss Daisy
There once was a gal whose name was Mary
Wore wings pretending she was a fairy
Then I swear on my word
She flapped 'em like a bird
And started singing like a canary
Heard them tell about a gal named Sally
Made money hanging out in the alley
But then she got greedy
With those who were seedy
It was curtains in her grand finale
I used to know a chesty lass named Pam
She had to tote them around in a pram
Then had an operation
A booby castration
I heard she now goes by the name of 'Sam'
Did you hear about the one called Yvette
She can't remember and started to fret
It made me want to cry
I can't figure out why
Umm.. umm.. I'm too old and tend to forget
Thrashed her life in that vicious fuscous night
Tattered her body in that mucky verdant site
Shattered her dreams in that bloody wicked plight
Four feigned civilized animals, enjoyed their bite.
They waited their turn to deracinate her
With ears and heart kept fastened for her prayer
With ineffable agony nature tried to cover
Her natural body with leafy little shower.
When tired they spared her for a midget time
And wrapped in a blanket to set a meacock crime
Wetted in fuel they fired the chad as a scheme
And disenthralled the soul of the decubitus dame.
Now tell me the judgement of these cruel critters
Hang or guillotine their ugly little heads
Lynching or castration, anything you can propose
Sharpen your quills and the judgement of the case.
Honorable Mention in STRAND SPECIAL 12 ,any form ,any theme Poetry Contest sponsored by Brian Strand
Allow altruistic artistry among ailing american adversaries.
Bartering begins before begging beasts break brothers.
Capture calamity controlling catastrophe calming castration.
Dedicate decisions directed down dreary deaf disillusionment.
Eradicate equality earning efficient energetic epiphany.
Follow fallen foreigners forgetting faithful flight from fluid folly.
Gasping greatness growing grapes given golden goodness.
Halt hollow hearts hearing helpless happiness.
Imagine impurity imitating indestructible ice inflicting impotent illness.
Justify jolly jerusalem jingling janitors joining january’s jewelry.
Kill kindergarten kings kicking kindly kindred kilts.
Lament likeable links lingering lowly light like lavender letters.
Mount monetary moments melting motherly marshal monuments.
Negate nightly notions noticing nurtured naughty nakedness.
Open oblivious obligation of odd operative oceans.
Propagate proposed premonitions producing proud pirate papas.
Quiet quilted questions quickly quoting quaint qualm quandary.
Remember righteous royalty returning rotten remnant rage.
Skip silent sulking surrounding super salty sounds squeezing sanity.
Teach talented tearful tyrants total trivial topics training treason.
Utter utopian universality upon united unitarian usurpers.
Violate vermin validity valuing victorious vomiting virgin volunteers.
Wash wandering women wondering whether western whiteness welcomes war.
X-ray xeric xenophobic xylem-made xebec.
Yearn yellow yearlings yelling yonder yuletide yachtsmen.
Zebra.
My slumber knows no measure...
There be no sleep for me.
The hounds are barking through the night
For immortality.
I toss them a leg of hubris
And a banal cliche for slight effect.
But their hunger goes unsated...
I lay waste my self-respect.
A few platitudes and twaddle
Are quickly gobbled by the beasts.
I make an honest effort at contrition
To give aid to my relief.
But my words of self-castration
Seem to energize the hounds.
I further try to appease and quantify...
But I'm losing precious ground.
I prostrate a harried confession.
My delusive sins are now a flood.
The wolf stands menacingly astride my door...
The beast has tasted blood.
Again... I apologize now threefold times
Using paper, pad and quill.
But it matters not to feed the beasts...
The hounds are barking still.
The End
*Follow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's Your Uncle.
Close your eyes and use your
imigination
What if the world showed an
indication
that jesus was really satan
Itd be the biggest revelation
But what would happen to
civilization
Would christianty become a
revocation
From the The bible we start an
emancipation
This rap is a mass dialation
Under my narration
Do you need a translation for
all of this information
Heres one simple explination
Open your eyes and see this
damnation
Here ill put it in an easy
equation
it might take a bit of calculation
Of this summation me + you =
decapitation
Oh I forgot to carry the
castration
Heres another deviation of this
story
Told through the constillations
If you truely look youll see the
beautiful illustrations
"THC inhaliation
With no limitation
I have endless medication
"I stay as high as my
aspirations"
Thats my own quotation
Now wheres your admiration or
do you feel some aggravation
How does "Open your eyes and
see the truth" sound as a
consummation.
Writing anything political can throw fuel on a fire,
but these Limericks are not meant to ignite anyone.
Just a bit of humor in my opinion. Yes, we all have one.
A Musk rat and a vengeful dog
Both wantin' to be called Boss Hogg
In a rocket they'll launch
The critter with a paunch
Always croaking like a bullfrog
Trump wrote a poem about the day
A verse about those who will pay
For insubordination
He'll demand castration
Through vengeance, he will get his way
Took them all to the launching pad
The rat, the dog, Fat Kim and Vlad
Cast them into deep space
Earth will be a safer place
When it's saved from those who are madddd
Kim Jong Un asked to be on board
It was a seat he could afford
"Take Putin for the ride"
Trump wants him at his side
Into space and beyond they soared
The real 'rocket man,' evil Kim
Thinks the world should belong to him
Trump and Vlad lost in space
Lil Pudge will take their place
And King will be his pseudonym
"Taking away my cell phone would be as painful as being neutered."
~ by poet
Twenty years ago, no one would have predicted
that to cell phones, the world would become addicted.
We text instead of calling, though we have the choice.
I barely remember the sound of my child's voice!
Often, I forget where I've left my darn phone.
Without a text notification, I feel very much alone.
It's part of my anatomy that I should have neutered,
a simple surgical procedure that should be tutored.
Remove it from my hand with a scapel or a knife.
Can I survive without it? It's instrumental to my life!
Cutting it off would be an act of painful castration.
Maybe a lobotomy instead of neutering amputation?
I won't promise that if it's done, it would be a cure.
If it's no longer attached to me, how will I endure
not being able to keep in touch with my best friend,
and how long does it take for neutered scars to mend?
How lovely, isn't
It, to have an 'off' switch, shotty wiring
And all,
And a presence lined up to ****?
They are always there
To cauterize the wounds of emotional castration
Without desire to examine
The blood pattern forensics,
Chalking the splatter up
To an affinity towards Jackson Polluck.
Tears are to the meek
As injury is to the bold,
Chastity is to pureness
As promiscuity is to curiosity.
And what
Supplemented activity relates to the character
Defect of an over-eager search for validation?
How surreal a menagerie constructed from
Syringes full of sunshine.
Currency crusted by blood in place of worth,
Hopeful scribbles of the pale and placid carrying
Small flecks of over packed bags under the eye
Can seem when sunlight filters through rose colored lenses;
How frighteningly apparent
Connect-the-dot freckles and
Spasms of the left cheek and
Teddy bear smiles and
Xylophone ribs and
Bits of skin ghosted from lips become
When refracted by a Narcissus pond—
How I m p o r t a n t,
How appropriate these sentiments:
Perfect companions for the rolled-up-carpet's journey
Of finding permanence along river bottom
Set into the silt and framed with waving algae:
A'voir, piggyback consistencies,
Meet oblivion in shreds
Blown out the back end of the skull
In the instant chapped lip worshiper meets collarbone shrine.
Such ready to leech services are no longer
A necessity
In the four hours of chemically enhanced rawness
Stuffed with bile and bruise and suck and lie
Hollowed of meaning,
Save for the proverbial cholesterol of hope clogged in pores.
But I awake in numbness,
Cold and invalid,
With my head pressed on Doubt's chest
And my fingers knotting in its own
Begging to be warm again.
I Pledge Allegiance
a solemn vow of obedience, from the earliest age of grievance,
when found deliverance, one people, united against tyranny and intolerance,
become the model of democracy and toleration
To The Flag
the symbol of once colonization come together in celebration,
a new unconquerable nation, a successful castration,
of oppression and dictation
Of The United States Of America
a conglomeration of peoples form one nation,
13 colonies a single relation, one voice, one oration,
tread on me, expect retaliation
And To The Republic
a democracy, its creation, the Constitution, its foundation,
agreeable to all in origination, fiercely guarded against demolition,
militarization, and impregnation, over all these years, still on station
For Which It Stands
the protector of all oppressed lands, the world over she lends a hand,
her signature, her blood, in foreign sand
One Nation
from sea to sea, whether rich or poor, some vocal, others, chose to ignore,
those who guard the shore, those who knock on heavens door,
one nation, esprit de corps
Under God
in a time when belief was strong, today, should not be wrong,
having been with us so very long, a few may sing a different song,
most will believe, as they have, all along
Indivisible
one, as a whole number, cannot be divided by any other,
many have tried under guise of brother, only to be denied by the mother
With Liberty And Justice For All
the means to end all oppression, infinitely wrong with transgression,
succession, regression, and repression along
Our Pledge of Allegiance
a pledge of a nation, a history profound, one indivisible number,
all it takes, to be no longer allowed
Tell us of folks with conscience clear on terror; of trusted neo
terrorists that oust teams, terrorizing thousands... near, far, and wide
May it marinate in their minds; peace and equality are as grated rind
with scent of pure zing... unlike vexed souls, bent on terrorism
Just last night, amid day light, before photographer's sky, right in
spring's warmth... such unforgiving moment of sudden fright
Thunderous wondrous sounds of bombs whirred, then cease, and
just like that came sight of flight 8430, blown to fallen pieces of debris
I saw red, white, and blue of American airlines's plane, meshed with chaos
just as those blown to smithereens during 9ll... Still I'll fly. Why shouldn't I?
In this land of plenty, we won't share cowardice with tyrants of immorality;
not on their watch! freedom bell has rung for everyone free of contentions
"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (... they knew not...)
Flight 8430 felt Coup DE main... not of You, Great God of earth, sky, and dew
I shan't forget humongous, booming sounds of invisible bombs that flew and
flung sudden terror so near, i hastened with thoughts of Islam and coercion
Of intimidation, degradation, castration; of trepidation, and mutilation
that moved me to see martyrdom in terrorism as ignoble affiliations
I'm due like you to sit snug and breathe with ease here and now, without
quest; will I survive or will I have time to utter one final goodbye
Night's stream of consciousness was dream, dear God, but Your world need You...
only You; by power of Your might, turn terror to unadulterated thanksgiving; so
As we ponder canvas of sky with eyes beyond clouds; we'll grace life with
courage; for we shall over come with hope, with aims, and with our dreams.
*
Just a short story of the joys of living with a cat, a kelpie, a labrador.
Sometimes they play in a peaceful house, sometimes it’s like a war.
Like this morning, the red dog played tug of war all over the yard out the back.
For an hour both dogs pushed and pulled, stopped, sort of retired but then they’d both attack.
This was fun and joyous and lively, entertaining playing in harmony, peace, love and bliss.
Nothing could go wrong, nothing, as long as the cat wasn’t there, nothing could go amiss.
Well, you see this is where it got tricky, tricky when the kelpie decided to go in the house.
Inside where the cat was sleeping beside her kittens, sleeping like a mouse.
The red dog made it as far as the kitchen, that’s when play war became something so real.
From nowhere, a once quiet cat became psycho, attacking the dog like he was a meal.
The dog had no idea the cat had learnt to fly so fast, using razor sharp talons as wings.
The cat held on using all four feet, clawing at his back, legs, belly and, well, other things.
Shocked and dismayed, I jumped, I flew to calm this crazy, insane, deranged situation.
I grabbed the cat with both hands saving the dog from imminent castration.
Talons once meant for the dog now bore down into each of my tender fingers.
I screamed a scream not heard since the battlefields screams on Flanders.
The cat, I taught her to fly again, fly straight, like a dart, across the room into a wall.
I stood there, hands and arms covered in blood, the aftermath after the brawl.
After I’d stemmed the flow, washed and bathed and patched my many wounds up.
I staggered outside, my back was buggered too, to see the kelpie playing again, like a pup.
Oh man, not a scratch on you, so I hobbled back inside, hobbling and holding my head.
There asleep, purring peacefully not sore at all, were the kittens and their mum, upon my bed.
Did they learn a lesson not to go near each other, to keep a look out, to always keep a distance?
Nope, not a thing, it’s me that learnt though, not to get involved for my own existence.
Our prez is now Donald J Trump
Who has promised to clean out the sump
Well he's certainly no wussy
When groping a pussy
What more to expect from a gump?
In charge of the Vice, Michael Pence
Said some things that embrace little sense,
"Global warming's a myth"
But's now taking the fifth
In attempting to straddle the fence
We all recall general Flynn
Put in charge of security spin
A trained atomiser
No more Trump's advisor -
His deal with the devil's his sin
The billionaire Betsy Devos
Making plans for a school albatross
Hating free education
Backs private castration
And kids will be bearing her Cross.
The Congress approved Jeff B. Sessions
Ignoring his racist obsessions
He seemingly cares
More for foreign affairs
While forgiving Klan's toxic transgressions.
Chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon
Develops the Great Again Canon:
The Goldman Sachs Bankster
Turned yellow rag gangster
Flings crap from the New Order cannon
Says EPA ruler Scott Pruitt
"Instead of dry facts, we intuit..."
(His work as denier
Keeps profits much higher)
"... If everything dies, well, just screw it"
The war whoops of Mad Doggy Mattis
Awaken the death apparatus
With boundless expense
For a doomsday defence -
Armageddon administered gratis
The magnates no longer need lobby
Or fight regulations thought snobby -
Now set in the saddle
They're herding the cattle
And pulling the strings as a hobby
Now the Don can start wielding the axes
Truncating the tariffs and taxes
The Mafia boss
Is dismissing the dross
And poverty's pain as it waxes
She’s a whore of life, this woman of man,
she sits at a throne, and summons commands.
Her beauty is insatiable, all lust her creation,
they covet and desire her timely flirtation.
She’s a tramp of joy, she’ll steal your pride,
few escape her brutality, many have tried.
A vixen so beautiful, rare and unique –
she preys upon you; the weak and the meek.
She storms with violence; grasp her dedication,
she hails the glory of this blustery castration.
She soaks her conscious, with your admiration,
pouring down chaos, on the winds of frustration.
This Trollope of beauty, has flooded the minds,
of these foolish men always searching to find,
a tsunami of ecstasy too grand I ensure,
for the whore of the universe; Mother Nature.
I’m a revelation, a mutation, a mutilation,
Divine will and hysterical damnation.
One nation under a spell of castration.
I’m the chemical, you’re the academical,
Condemning the notion of free motion.
Polemical
Hearing
Healing
Break through the gold ceiling, persist to steal it.
Stuck in the system.
Dreaming
Not feeling pure.
Imagination ain’t real.
In my defence, I make sense, making cents, on innocents.
Coincide your incense with my expense,
Our expense is your offence.
Picket fence. Pick a side
Why so tense?
Test the tide
Have a drink. Will it quench
Nuclear war on my doorstep?
Divorce
Death
Drugs
Forceps
Forced steps, first steps,
Towards complex subjects of the same sex
The safe sex.
Ain’t safe sex going through glass bars
In a sidesplitting suplex?
Forced ideas. Safe paycheques
Forged ideals. Save apex.
Stereotypes
I’m the two time two sided too tired top model.
I’m the type to go mono.
One nation under one channel.
That’s our new motto.
They found it/him, hidden, feeling
Sympathy and fascination.
Clothing and makeup appealing --
Save for a grotesque castration.
There were growths all about its skin.
They found it/him, hidden, feeling
Revulsion with a steadfast chin --
To be raised as male, concealing.
School days carried much revealing;
But, not enough to shock or faint.
They found it/him, hidden, feeling
A constricted clothing complaint.
Growing spent of this life to be,
On top of all things displeasing,
He pondered becoming a she!
They found it/him, hidden, feeling....