Best Buying Poems

BUYING CONDOMS

I was desperate to buy me some condoms
On a Wednesday morning in June
My girlfriend had made me a promise
And we were meeting up that afternoon

For she'd noticed that in my frustration
My flat....which I kept fairly neat
Now had fingernail marks on the ceiling
And teethmarks on...

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BUYING LIFE                                           ...

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At the crowded book store
People are lining up
Eying an autographed copy
Of a newly released bestseller.

Enthusing front of the line
Are the scholarly readers,
Critics, and the like:
Aspiring headline makers.

Some have read the reviews,
Some know author's bio.

Staging erudite conversations
Are members of book clubs.

Showing off signed copies
Are those of...

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There once was a crazy man called Calvin
spent a lot of money for jackpot win
but it was his bad luck
soon became a bankrupt
started selling tickets for a living!





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Placement:9th;(January 2012)

Contest:Lottery Ticket Limerick

Sponsor:Susan Burch

By:kashinath karmakar...

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you may think that soy is not made of metal
    but i saw james hetfield filling his kettle.
   
   full of that sh$% in the vegan isle.
   so i just starred at him for awhile....

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Have you chosen what you will become,
my son,
or will you become something yet unchosen?

Become?

How will you keep yourself gainfully occupied,
dare I speak of vocation?

Oh yes,
I will be absent.

Absent from…?

From you.
Absent from you.

My wisest son,
thank you for your perfect gift of omission,
and yet your future commissions
provoke...

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Buying a Goat


How I negotiated for its slaughter
Was not a matter for plain laughter
Haggling, it chanced a sire activity,	
Last before the fatalistic disability!
He is charging more than whole,
Maybe he is selling me the sire role!


JM

2nd February 2014...

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Panic buying 
shoppers vying

People lying
not complying

They’re so greedy
others needy

No chips or bread
kids can’t be fed

There’s no pasta
pure disaster

No toilet rolls
For ‘our souls’

Pushers shovers
think of others!


We have been in lockdown for a little over a week, there was mass panic buying before the actual lockdown was...

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The buying frenzy has begun
And every store’s competing.
You’d better hurry up; these discount 
Prices will be fleeting.

For those of us who hate to shop
‘Cause holidays demand it,
It doesn’t pay to moan about
How much we cannot stand it.

If we were smart we could have bought
Our presents...

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I see my daughter as n feisty teen 
but of course any boyfriends day dream 
Ogling my beautiful only daughter, 
will bring on your instant awful slaughter 

I’m a man of a certain caliber
A girl’s father needs no Excalibur 
A double barrel slug is in...

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There was once a wealthy merchant
Who wished to collect some debt
He sent his servant to see to it
And told him to buy goods on return 

The servant did as he was bid
But when he saw the plight of the poor
His heart was so moved that
He...

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She was like a big doll, he thought,
As he watched her standing stoically
So prominent in the window display.

A window shopper looked in.  So attractive, he thought.
Suddenly all reminiscent ideas fled,
As she had disappeared from view.

He walked towards the window display.
There was the dummy wearing...

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Buying the Bible
Was one of the better things he did
That afternoon.

Worn, and second-hand,
It went on a little shelf in the pantry
Next to Daily Bread.

Thus the pantry became 
Hallowed: "No Trespassing";
A Kingdom just for him.


---------------------------------------

3/6/2015

Contest - End of June Standard,
Any Form or None, Any Theme,
up to...

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Invited to some weddings,
It was time to buy a dress.
The thought of such an effort
Was enough to give me stress.

I went to a department store,
A place I rarely shop,
But kept my fingers crossed that it
Would be my only stop.

I found some possibilities
And went to try...

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Reliability is hard to come by, I hear a sigh
Product insurance is offered when you buy
Manufacturers do build obsolescence in
Sellers know you’ll be coming back again.

Product insurance is offered when you buy
The appliance is not meant to last forever,
Sellers know you’ll be coming back again
A...

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