Best Booze Poems

At first he drank to be one of the boys
  To act a bit rowdy, to make some noise
He couldn't resist all the teen peer pressure
  Just couldn't say 'No;' had to say 'Yes sir'

Off to college he went to the land of...

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I met my wife before the booze
which sounds nicer than the truth
because before the booze was **** and drugs
and the mother of my first child, you know,
that chick I used to love.

I met my wife after the great exchange,
which is a regal title that directly...

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No Sweat Revisions (Booze Helps)

Poet speaks:
“To write a poem you can easily revise
it’s best to use free verse,
for it requires so little thinking and
besides with thought could come content
revisions just might lose.
Why take any chances?”

Reader speaks:
"Whatever does he mean?
My God this guy is deep!
Most modern...

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are you with me, you drowsy pen?…this world is a
freakin’  distorted place. we are  scribbling 
like mites in pillow fights:  dirty nails we have become ,
 contagious  as micro germs trying to make
sense of all the fake reality clinging to sleek...

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Carrie Nation was renown for her scorn

For the havoc caused by john barleycorn

She wielded her axe causing dire consternation

Wrecking bars with what she termed a "hatchitation"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

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He went home gaily after a few pegs
Fell onto his bed dangling his soiled legs
Blissfully fell asleep soon
His wife came calling him “loon”
Falling from bed, he felt her hefty kicks


May.19. 2023

Funny, Bawdy or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Tania Kitchin

10 syllables in lines 1, 2 and...

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You watch the news and see all those louts
who drink and abuse, by making fools of themselves

To fix their spews, so they don’t go south
let’s not sell them booze, to feed their mouth...

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This is for that certain someone who has everything.
If they take an occasional drink, this would make their bell ring.
It’s an invention that will certainly appear keen.
Why not give that loved one an instant booze machine?
This contraption makes fresh hooch on the spot.
Doesn’t this seem...

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Booze Squad
Tonight should have taken place in July, my birthday night out. 
A dozen weekly tattoos stopped that. 
It was a frosty December evening when we went to a few pubs for a beer.
Frozen ground echoed our footfalls, 
ice threatened to trip us and cold...

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Be sure you lay off the booze.
If not, it's certain you'll lose.
That's something not to forget
when playing blackjack or roulette.
The girls bring drinks all the time.
They're the house’s partners in crime.
They get you drunk to get your money.
Soon it will be gone.  That's not...

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My wife was a woman who I abused.
Now I drown my sorrows in booze.
I hit her quite often and it's something I regret.
Now I'm drinking a lot of booze to try to forget.
She never even once called the cops when I hit her.
She always forgave...

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Have you heard this latest fantastic good news
This poet's confidence has started to ooze
The words of praise
He receives each day
Gives him reason to celebrate with a bottle of booze...

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I don't know what people are thinking,

when they are planning,

on going out and drinking,

cause the very next day,

they wake up late,

leave the house in a panic state,

their skin looking a little green,

and all of a sudden they go from nice,

to mean,

they say that their stomach...

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There was a venerable little lady by the name of Carrie Nation,

     Who crossed the country wielding an axe creating consternation!

Her mission was to ban demon rum from sea to shining sea,

     By busting bottles, barrels and...

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I'm no good in a kitchen but, I can cook stuff all the same
Around here, say "the recipe" and most folks know my name
It hasn't changed in fifty years, and folks still drink it up
I've been making it with my granddad since I was just...

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