Best Batsman Poems
I remember, I remember my garden of joy,
It gave me great happiness when I was a boy
At the bottom of the garden was a delightful stream,
When alone, I would sit beside it, meditate and dream.
In the garden stood an ancient apple tree,
In the spring time its coloured buds were a joy to see.
In the autumn the russet apples were harvested in,
Our neighbours also enjoy surplus apples from our bin.
At summertime my two friends would come in and play cricket,
Game stopped when the batsman knocked the ball into the thicket.
On summer evenings Mum or Dad read us a story in the eventide,
Other children came in, lemonade and biscuits mum did provide.
Subject to weather mum packed a picnic on a Sunday afternoon,
To meet the local villagers, to gossip, farmers sold their eggs, that was a boon The villagers would meet, discus each others fortune, on the village green, There all the local gossip everyone could tell or glean.
The young ones played football, cricket or handball,
The girls often beat the boys, that did not go down well.
Some times in the evening Dad would take me down to listen to the local band, Some music I did not like, some I thought was grand.
I left home at twenty one to work in the city,
My little village is now a small town, what a pity.
I have photo’s to remind me of my happy past,
With an expanding world villages like mine will never last.
Unquotable quotes - III
When in Rome, do as the Roman Nero.
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the vain and the
insane.
A grenade a day keeps the refugee away.
Cut your coat according to your girth.
The kettle calling the pot back.
Like father, like son; like mother, like neither.
Singing in the rain can get you pain in Spain.
Singing in the rain in Paris can get you chicks who do
the twist with fairies.
A sound heart in a sick body is like a tart groggy with
toddy.
The sun also rises best in the West.
Who said beggars are not choosers: they can choose the
place and moment they beg.
A white tiger abhors orange.
A policeman’s girl always wears handcuffs behind her
back.
A lawyer who licks the back of hands always gets paid
first.
A judge who yells at you tends to reduce the sentence to
a phrase.
Building castles in the air with sand is cheaper by far.
A marathon runner remembers the thighs but not the
laps.
At the end of the day is when you make your greatest
mistake – you go to sleep.
Churn milk to make curd: churn speech to make turd.
Pounding rice as a marriage rite brings no surprise on
the wedding night.
One swallow doesn’t make a drunkard out of a
teetotaller, but it sure signals a dry summer.
Cricketing jargon
The late-cut is the shave you missed out.
The off-cut is the cover drive turned phut.
The leg-pull is the batsman’s bras de fer to the leg
spinner.
The long-stop is the twelth man on the field.
The straight drive pierces the umpire’s reverie.
The full-toss is the fast bowler’s slipped disc.
The ton-up comes after the spin bowlers give up.
The innings defeat is the army beating the retreat.
Test matches end up in ditches for pitches.
A bumper is an un-coded message from the bowler to the
batsman.
A bumper is an overt warning to the inveterate blocker.
Tail-enders get to face the best batsmen all-rounders.
Umpires inspect pitches at the start of a match for coins
dropped by lawn-mowers.
An over-throw is a fielded ball flung by an outfielder at
the umpires and which misses the wickets by miles.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
Unquotable quotes (More Cricketing Jargon) – IV
A « wide » is a ball aimed by the bowler at some absent-
minded fielder.
The « silly-point » is the fielding position so close to the
batsman that the captain forces his rival to occupy at
the risk of receiving balls on the head, solar plexus
and balls hit at over 300 m.p.h.
An « inswinger » is a bowled ball which changes course
in mid-air and gets round the batsman to nick the
bails.
An « outswinger » is a bowled ball which the batsman
thought he connected for a six but which merely
nicked his bat to reach the safe first-slip’s hands.
A « run-out » is given when batsmen running between
wickets wish to get back to the pavillion in a hurry.
To get « one’s eyes in » is to see cricket balls the size of
foot-balls.
A « partnership » in batting occurs when one batsman
does all the stroke-playing while the other hurls abuse
and advise on him.
The « night-watchmen » are batsmen sent in with
blankets to keep the pitch warm at the end of the day.
The « opening batsmen » always take their own sweet
time between the pavillion until their crease rituals.
The « one down » is the batsman who makes the ground
look like an empty billiard table.
The « top scorer » is not the cousin of the official scorer.
« Clean bowled » happens when the batsman is looking
at a blonde in the pavillion.
« Hit wicket » usually occurs when tall batsmen choose
long-handle bats for their centuries.
« Leather-hunt » takes place when one ball takes to
visiting all corners of the field in quick succession.
A century or two could very well take just half-a-day
these days.
The « hat-trick » always occurs when the umpire is
dozing after lunch.
« Good shot » means no one has dared put a hand out to
stop the ball.
« Medium-paced bowlers » are fast bowlers who have
been hit once too often out of the ground.
The « leg pull » always catches the leg and mid-field
talking to one another.
The last batsman always takes a wild swing at the first
ball in the hope that it would land on the captain’s
head.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
Unquotable quotes – II
Spare the rod and knife the wife.
Empty drums make the most deaf wise.
Penny wise Pound English.
The Polyester Stomper heals the vain woman’s heel.
Eat what you can but can what doctors ban.
Let the water tap run but drain rain.
The woman, the dog and the chestnut tree, the more
you beat them the harder the bark.
Let sleeping dogs neigh.
It never rains but indoors.
Honesty is the best example of idiocy.
Two’s company, three’s a broad.
Make hay while the son wines.
There’s no smoke without liars.
Don’t count plots before they are hatched.
Preach not what you can enjoy in peace.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a truth.
Parting makes much sweet sour.
A round peg in a square soul.
Rule Brittania, Britannia rules the knaves.
Able was I as I saw(ed) Abel.
It’s a Rolling Stone that makes a fuss.
Those who tighten belts don’t wear sarongs.
The high and mighty always suck with the flighty.
What’s good for Peter is good for the Church.
The haiku is the silly bugger of the tanka.
The baker’s dozen helps keep the poor cousin.
Cricketing jargon
The no ball is the cricket’s late call.
The boundary is the sixer’s mockery.
The wicket keeper bails batsmen out.
The googly makes batsmen squint through patchouli.
A leg bye makes the batsman somewhat shy.
The leg-before-wicket is when the batsman kicks-the-
bucket.
The dropped-catch can be the slip’s last match.
The leg glance is a missed forward drive.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
Limerick : Once a Privy Counsellor at Lord’s
Once a Privy Counsellor at Lord’s*
Watched a bowler* throw balls like gourds
Convened judicial com.*
Summoned bowler to come
And sentenced him to eat bitter gourds.
Lord’s : The Mecca of cricket grounds in London
where the Marylebone Cricket Club has
its seat.
bowler : The player who lances the ball at the
batsman ; yet during the act the elbow
must not be bent – at the risk of being
called by the Umpire a « no ball « , that is,
even if the ball hits the wickets and the
bails are dislodged, the batsman is not
given « out.».
*Judicial Com(mittee) of the Privy Council, the highest
Court of Appeal in England (and the former
British territories) until the Supreme
Court was set up in 2010 to hear some appeals.
The Privy Counsellor/Councillor
is a Member of the House of Lords and a judge.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
"Wise Monkey"
I am tired
I am so so tired
Just sit for a while
See no evil
Hear no evil
Speak no evil
Shut my eyes
Listen to emptiness
Don't speak
Shhhhhhhhhhh
I am tired
I am so so tired
Just sit for a while
Watch my world
go bye
(LadyLabyrinth / 2020)
"Stone in Focus" / Aphex Twin
https://youtu.be/q86g1aop6a8
"Just Fall Asleep" / Aphex Twin
https://youtu.be/2gNtuY4VAOA
bye.
Definitition.
Bye1
- the transfer of a competitor directly to the next round of a competition in the absence of an assigned opponent.
- a run scored from a ball that passes the batsman without being hit (recorded as an extra, not credited to the individual batsman).
- one or more holes remaining unplayed after a match has been decided.
Bye 2
mid 16th century (denoting a side issue or incidental matter): from by.
Bye 3
Exclamation:
short for goodbye.
Bye 4
prefix
bye- 1. subordinate; incidental; secondary.
"by-election"
I remember, I remember my garden of joy,
It gave me great happiness when I was a boy
At the bottom of the garden was a delightful stream,
When alone, I would sit beside it, meditate and dream.
In the garden stood an ancient apple tree,
In the spring time its coloured buds were a joy to see.
In the autumn the russet apples were harvested in,
Our neighbours also enjoyed surplus apples from our bin.
At summertime my two friends would come in and play cricket,
Game stopped when the batsman knocked the ball into the thicket.
On summer evenings Mum or Dad read us a story in the eventide,
Other children came in, lemonade and biscuits mum did provide.
Subject to weather mum packed a picnic on a Sunday afternoon,
To meet the local villagers, to gossip, farmers sold their eggs, that was a boon
The villagers would meet, discus each other’s fortune, on the village green, There all the local gossip everyone could tell or glean.
The young ones played football, cricket or handball,
The girls often beat the boys, that did not go down well.
Some times in the evening Dad would take me down to listen to the local band, Some music I did not like, some I thought was grand.
I left home at twenty one to work in the city,
My little village is now a small town, what a pity.
I have photo’s to remind me of my happy past,
With an expanding world villages like mine will never last.
Out of a neon jungle the big cats prowl
the wind in the willows unrecovered,
for when the cats and wind begin to howl
I am stoned and the boys truly mothered!
So I rip in and bowl an inswinger
and rap ‘em on the pads…”howzat?” I shout,
pivoting to see a pointing finger,
but the bastard umpire says “Not Out!”.
Behold the shot, the call of “no, yes, no”…
a sledge and slog on the concrete wickets
and puffs of stupefying herb billow
the post-match bar in the oak tree pickets.
For a play and a prey the big cats reign
when the Leopards are loose in The Domain.
Written: November 1992
Pic above is of Auckland Domain.
*The Leopards are a cricket team.
*Cricket bats are made from willow trees.
*Mothered is slang for extremely drunk.
*Inswinger is a type of bowling delivery.
*If a bowler appeals to an umpire for a
dismissal and he agrees the batsman is
out he points and raises his finger.
*Sledge is a cutting insulting remark.
I have no doubt that
soon it will be summer.
The daffodils have taken flight,
fire no more warms the night.
The rain has gone,
no need to run for cover.
Not long now ‘til summer,
blossoms on apple trees,
monarch butterflies and bumble bees,
garden buds a kaleidoscope in flower
with fruit upon vine and bower.
No need for winter clothes,
sore throats, chills, stuffy nose.
Children laugh, their face aglow,
(they’re in the know)
soon it will be summer.
I have a friend, we love cricket,
he bowls - I take wickets!
One ball left in the over,
a sweet drive through extra cover...
that’s when you know it’s summer.
We poke fun at each other,
who’s the best, he’s like a brother.
I never move my feet -
“your arm’s always bent, Skeet,”
but I think we can both agree
I ain’t Lara and you ain’t Hadlee.
Written: circa 1995
———
*Wicket refers to the dismissal
of a batsman.
*An over is made up of six balls
bowled by the bowler.
*A drive is a cricket shot.
*Extra cover is a fielding position.
*Skeet is my friend and opponent.
A legend in his own mind.
*Lara and Hadlee are famous
players from the past.
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, gathered in awe
to watch The Master and his name exhort,
and at the crease blazoned a century score
by the Lion slayer in fierce onslaught.
Cut, hook, pull, and drive - each ball thunderstruck
as I took my guard at the city end,
cover and square leg would scurry and duck
when Excalibur blade threatened…Amen!
“Bravo centurion!” they’d shout, “more! more!”
dapper in his zinc and red bandana -
into Wisden and new Leopard folklore
“run-out” on that great urban savannah.
I should have stayed my crease - instead I ran -
but cometh the legend, cometh the man!
Written: December 1996
Note: A centurion is a batsman who scores
a hundred runs in an innings. Alas I
was run-out for 111 that fateful day.
*The Leopards were my cricket team.
*The Lions were one of our fiercest rivals.
*Cover & square leg are fielding positions.
*Cut, hook, pull, drive, are cricket shots.
*Taking guard is marking your crease in
line with your stumps to protect them.
*Excalibur is a brand of cricket bat.
*Wisden is a prestigious cricket almanac.
It was mid-summer,
evening league cricket.
Fifty years fade from view
they’ve labelled it
Twenty-Twenty and think
of it as something new.
We batted first,and scored
a few;I placed my bat
in the crease.A bowler
more than a batsman,
I took guard.
Giving it a clout, to leg,
a richoctet split my
top lip and smashed
two front teeth so I
quickly retired,not out
Twenty-four hours passes
my lip stitched, two crooked
teeth removed from sore
gums, learning as well,
we lost by five runs.
With a few weeks a plate
fitted with two new teeth.
Each night now I smile;
sometimes one split second
will improve a profile
https://youtu.be/A7NzFzy7_NE
Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.
Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.
Cricket now is definitely a professional team sport.
The World Cup is a very important way to measure the good players, and the great ones. It is a test of a great player.
We have a great sense of togetherness. It is our team spirit that has taken us to this World Cup.
The World Cup is not just a great global sporting event, it is also inscribed with much deeper cultural and political importance.
The beauty of the World Cup is that while thirty-two countries get to cheer for their respective teams, the event also affirms a global pluralism - it is as much a festival of cultural multiplicity as it is a competition featuring some of the best athletes in the world.
Cricket is a most precarious profession; it is called a team game but, in fact, no one is so lonely as a batsman facing a bowler supported by ten fieldsmen and observed by two umpires to ensure that his error does not go unpunished.
The world is coming down
the flags of the winning country are up.
who wanna be no.1
who's gonna take up the world cup.
who will it be,
who'll be king,
it's once in a lifetime chance.
who'll rule the world.
gotta see who rule the world.
If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride - and never quit, you'll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.
By Miss Aliza Kashmala Kiran.
IF NOT
If you can’t keep your head when all around you
Are keeping their’s and blaming it on you.
If you cannot trust yourself when all men look to you
And condemn them for relying on you too.
If you’re impatient and be tired of waiting,
Or being treated honestly, still deal in lies.
Or being loved, give way to thoughts of hating
And yet look angel-like and talk too wise.
If when you dream your dreams are rather lewd,
And when you think, your thoughts are just the same.
If you can’t project a decent attitude
And if you never can accept the blame.
If you think only of your selfish needs,
Oblivious of the needs of others.
Or, caught out in some parlous deed,
You blame it on your brothers.
If, when you’re in the pub you’re offered just one more
And though you’ve had too much you take it.
If having one more cigarette may put you at death’s door
Yet, knowing that, you just cannot forsake it.
If on the football field you hack opponents down,
Or, at cricket, sledge to cheat the batsman out.
If, given out, you meet the umpires verdict with a frown,
Then, in the dressing room, you hurl your bat about.
If, in the betting shop, you risk what’s meant for food
And, losing it, write I.O.U’s.
If still you’re in an unrepentant mood
And study once again the racing news.
If you have all these faults and many more,
You’re not unique when all is said and done.
There’s plenty in our family gone before.
And what is more - you’ll be my son - my son!
Ball,Bat and wicket
Three making thrill cricket
Ballers,Batsmen and Umpires
To differ to defend in all affairs
Batsman to sweat more to shine
Shining ball for the baller to shine
Saliva and sweat in the game twins
To shine the ball time to time to win
Saliva in tongue to sense every taste
Stinks sweat no good a waste of waste
The pair in health from time memory
Covid now to takes saliva to the mortuary
Saliva to bid a farewell from the pitch
Sweat to cover the space like putting patch!