THE KING AND MASTER OF POETRY!!!!! KNEEL! - Just That Archaic Poet's Blog

THIS IS A PIECE OF SATIRICAL FICTION AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY OR LITERALLY!!!!!!!

There seems to be a frightful bit of confusion running amok, and the air must be cleared. All of my subjects should know that I am the undisputed King, Lord and Master of Rhyme- of all words themselves. I am the greatest writer of this century and centuries past, and I fear that most people just are not aware of it yet. Such a pity. The purpose of this blog is to inform and educate all the infidels of my Poetic Prowess and Superiority. 

I invented rhyme. I invented poetry itself. Every word I ever utter is a melodious, mellifluous symphony of sound and harmony. Every word I type is as brilliant as starlight; every thought as brilliant as a diamond. My genius knows no bounds, and I feel compelled to tell the world just how wonderful and great I really am.

Shakespeare? HAH! A rank amateur! Poe? An drunken disappointment. Keats? Just another hack. Dickinson couldn't write her way out of a paper bag. They pale and jaundice in comparison to my Mastery of Words. Didn't you know that?

I am, without question, the best and greatest at what I do. No one can hold a candle to my flame of genius. Everyone needs to know- far and wide- sea to sea- that my boasts and poetic triumphs are true! Be it metrical, iambic, haiku, free-verse, senryu, ballad, clerihew- I am MASTERS of them all! I put my pen to paper and angels sing and weep.

I understand my path is fraught with petty jealousy and envy, and I understand 
your frustration and I empathize with all of you, wholeheartedly. But take heart, dear friends, and bask in my own poetic glory; perhaps, one day, it shall rub off on you and you might write, oh, a little something worthwhile...*yawn*


AGAIN, THIS IS SATIRE, AND NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY OR LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/8/2014 4:46:00 PM Shooosh has anyone told him he has no pants on? Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/9/2014 2:28:00 AM He's been running amok for ages now stark naked and totally oblivious, poor thing!

Nette Onclaud Date: 1/8/2014 1:15:00 AM oh my stars!.. aside from " acting" like the king of rhyme, you are the jester of the court as well, chan... you so wickedly funny!..:) Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:40:00 AM lol Thanks, Nette. I enjoy writing satire :)

Robin Davis Date: 1/7/2014 6:03:00 PM Chan The "Big Headed" Man HHHHMMM So you are the King of Rhyme. Do you want to put that to a challenge. I will beat you anytime, anyplace. HEE HEE Or you can just make me the Queen of Rhyme and crown me. LOL Nice silly write my friend. Hugs and Love always Sweet "The Rhyming Queen" Pea Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:41:00 AM Thanks for reading and replying, Sweet Pea <3

Andrea Dietrich Date: 1/7/2014 2:53:00 PM verrrrry funny - right down to the yawn at the end. Loved reading everyone's comments down here too! Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:45:00 AM Thanks, Andrea. I enjoyed writing it and I am happy everyone else is getting a kick out of it, too. I LOVE giving people a taste of their own medicine ;)

Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/7/2014 1:58:00 PM OH MY I have always wanted to be in the service of a GOOD KING, the best sort of government is to be had that way, I would not kneel for I kneel to no one, but my pen is at your service my Liege. Your Lady Bet Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:48:00 AM lol I would never make my friends kneel; only my underlings, the simpletons and sycophants. You're a gem of a friend, Deb :)

Cyndi Macmillan Date: 1/7/2014 1:33:00 PM I decided to delete my first comment, as it might encourage others to actually take this too seriously. Instead, I'll say: This is funny, I enjoyed it, it is well written. Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:50:00 AM I'm pretty good at satire; my services are always available lol. Thanks for all the comments and thoughts, ladies <3 Nette Onclaud Date: 1/8/2014 1:17:00 AM where's mustapha? he is a great king of rhyme... Cyndi Macmillan Date: 1/7/2014 5:26:00 PM Yes. LOL. He definitely would have. But I am no where near the comedic writer that he is. I wonder if I could hire Chan to write my eulogy... I'd rather leave my loved ones laughing... odd thought. Lord. I need coffee.

David Williams Date: 1/7/2014 12:51:00 PM I am delighted this is not to be taken seriously as you have spelt King wrong, you have spelt it "kind" on your second line…..But you obviously have a sense of humour…. Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:52:00 AM Normally my editing skills are top notch, unless I am inebriated, which I was last night. Will be correcting my errors shortly; thanks for pointing them out :) Nette Onclaud Date: 1/8/2014 1:19:00 AM what a king, hahaha... well i'm still the worst typist here , david..

Painted Hunter Date: 1/7/2014 12:49:00 PM I'm cracking up here, Chan....respectfully....as I bow to thee in lowly submission. Oh, that one day I might be worthy enough to flavor my peasant's food with your kingly toe jam. Chan, you are a poet, but also an entertainer...love it! Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:54:00 AM LOL! You're too much, Caleb! If you follow my entourage and cavalcade closely enough, you might be lucky enough to catch a piece of lint, which should be considered a holy poetic relic ;)

Roy Jerden Date: 1/7/2014 12:41:00 PM Ah, I see you like to take the diplomatic, oblique approach. I can only quail before such finesse and subtlety! If only I could bask in the shadow of your magnificence as direct exposure would burn me surely to a crisp! ;) Login to Reply Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/8/2014 7:55:00 AM You are welcome to borrow a royal parasol, Roy ;)