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What Gets On My Nerves

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Below is the poem entitled What Gets On My Nerves which was written by poet Just That Archaic Poet. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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What Gets On My Nerves

You want to know what annoyeth me? Let me count the ways!
I could weave a veritable tapestry of all my aggravations, mostly in 
light and deep crimson hues which signify the violence in my Heart.
Easily I could write a novel that reads like a laundry list of everything that
vex me to no fathomable End.

Pretentiousness, which is the ultimate Sin of Sins, maddens me more
than mere meager words can describe or accurately articulate. An example, perhaps?
Someone who claims to be a better poet than Shakespeare! Such heinous poetic heresy and blatant blasphemy! ONE WORD: HA!

Let's see...what else? Oh, how I loath- despise! an unannounced and 
unexpected visitor, a "knock, knock" that sends shivers, like shards of glass,
down my disturbed spine. Yes, I know all about Jesus. No, I don't want to come to your church but I'll smile, be polite and friendly as I decline the invitation, then send you off on your merry way to pester someone else with your nonsense and throw your "literature" in the trash.  I wish I lived in an impregnable fortress surrounded by a moat and guarded by ten-thousand Pinkerton Guards. They never sleep. 

Driving, what a bedeviling task! Anyone remember the old video game "Spy Hunter" where your vehicle was equipped with bombs and lasers and such? How I wish my car had a machine gun or rocket-launcher turret to get everyone out of my way! Going too slow? KABOOM! Didn't use your turn signal? Ratta-tat-tat-tat-tat-t-a-t-t...-a...-t. So long, buster!

Bad hair-do's are ALMOST as sinful and unforgivable as pretentiousness. I cannot abide a bad hair-do. It's a good thing I'm not a socio/psychopathic autocrat or I would have anyone with an offensive coif shot on sight. When I was in school and big, poofy Aqua-Net shellac soaked , giant crunchy big bangs were all the rage, I took great delight in smashing those immense, granite-like monstrous and monumental  mega-pompadours. Some of those do's were hard as bricks, like they were surrounded and protected by some kind of hair force-field. I demolished many a poof in my youth!

This diatribe is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I could on and on and on and on and on and on...but I'll trail off here...

*What Annoys You Contest Entry*
JustThatArchaicPoet

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  1. Date: 5/26/2014 10:08:00 AM
    Hi my friend. I would be deleting my poems from the Soup. I just wanted to acknowledge all the wonderful comments you placed on my poems in the past. Thank you very much my friend.

  1. Date: 3/12/2014 7:38:00 PM
    You really expressed yourself here dear friend. This is both expressive and witty at the same time. Loved it and I do apologize for not being around to check out your poems and give my honest reviews as always. Keep that ink flowing.

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 3/13/2014 11:52:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hey, no worries, my friend. Just glad you popped in today. I do appreciate the kind review :)
  1. Date: 2/26/2014 9:08:00 PM
    Chan, wow, you sure know how to give it your best. , Congratulations!! Luv ~SKAT~

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 3/1/2014 2:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, hon :)
  1. Date: 2/25/2014 10:38:00 AM
    Chan, do you know how damn funny you are?....enjoyed so much!

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/25/2014 11:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, Caleb. I admire you so much as a writer; you have mad skills, my friend. Glad you enjoyed this and thanks for the compliment :)
  1. Date: 2/24/2014 11:05:00 AM
    bhd is just as annoying as pretentious people, chan... ..sweet congrats on your award!.. huggs!

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/24/2014 11:19:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    lol Thanks, Nette :)
  1. Date: 2/24/2014 4:20:00 AM
    Awesome poem and congrats on the fine win, chan

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/24/2014 11:19:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, Doc; congrats to you, too :)
  1. Date: 2/23/2014 11:57:00 PM
    Congrats on the win JTAP. A great one indeed.

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/24/2014 11:20:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, Kay; much appreciated :)
  1. Date: 2/19/2014 3:22:00 PM
    wow, Methinks Frank is gonna eat this one up!!! And how in the world were you able to smash those giant hair do's of your school days? I can just see you going up to people and smashing them on the head. Hilarious. (oh, and I am more interesting than "Shakespeare. hahahaha. JK!!!)

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/19/2014 3:33:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    oops! Should say *to demolish
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/19/2014 3:32:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    lol I hope he enjoys it. I considered those hairdo's to be wildly offensive and felt it my mission demolish as many "poofs" as possible ;) Thanks for the read and comment :)
  1. Date: 2/12/2014 9:04:00 PM
    you smashed my poof one too many times...

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/17/2014 12:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Did you have a "poof" freshman year? I know it was the spitballs, reading notes over your shoulder and that queefed on bomber jacket that brought us together, but was serial "poof smashing" involved as well?
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/17/2014 12:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    AND Reese Cups! Damn that Philip!