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Big Girls do Cry

They expected her to be the jolly fun one.
The one   w e a r i n g   a smile on her face.
So she became.....who they wanted her to be
She was quick with her wit, telling her practiced fat jokes.
It was a pre-emptive strike of sorts
her attempt to remove the target
from what some thought was her "considerable ass".
Never again wanting to be the "butt" of people's jokes!

She remembers the year she was "Chubby Checker"
the year her parents gave her that checkered jacket
she also remembers how hard she cried.
They laughed and one boy sang 
"Big Girls Don't Cry----- they don't cry!"
She vowed to herself on that very day
"I will never ever cry again!"

There were the many diets
the yo yo effect...
"Yo big girl, lookin good"
 Friends asking her  "have you lost weight?"
Those "good for you"s!!!!
The attention felt good in a way
but the weight she'd lose seemed to come back the next day.
Somehow the cursed food felt like her only true friend
the only one on whom she could depend.
The food never judged her
instead it filled the empty sad part
the part that weighed nothing
yet felt like it weighed a thousand pounds!
The part that felt lighter when she was full
it somehow felt like a hug from the inside.

She stopped eating in public
not wanting to hear comments like
"she could do without that ice cream."
There were also the buffet comments
"She's going to get her money's worth!"
Still what hurt even worse
were the nice people
the trying to be kind people
the ones who felt sorry for her people
Saying "all you need to do is lose a few pounds." 
or "you have such a pretty face." 
Some people would tell her "You're just big boned."
Then there was comment she hated the most
"You have such a great personality!" 
For she knew it was all part of the "Fat Girl Show"
the persona she had gifted to them.

Then came the day
that epic day she stopped joking.
When she smiled when she wanted to smile
when she dressed in the ways she wanted to dress.
She embraced the form she was given
she celebrated all of her curves.
She decided to eat when she was hungry
nourishing and loving her body
she allowed colourful foods to occupy her plate.
Strangely, she started losing some weight
but it wasn't her goal
for inside she was becoming whole.
Skinny was not who she needed to be!
When tears came she allowed them to flow free
she was no longer her own enemy
The more she cried
the less she felt her empty.

She learned,
everyone
y e s.... everyone,
has some kind of insecurity!
No one is completely who they wish to be
some have hidden bits
others are more obvious,
even  if   some are somewhat oblivious.
She now has learned to be a compassionate witness
one who is much kinder to herself
she doesn't  keep her thoughts on a shelf
So when others make jokes
or give painful pokes...
She tells them
"That's hurtful and it's not okay",
"I'm who I am and I'm perfect this way!"
Maybe next time they will consider what they say.
For today and tomorrow
and every other day forward
she is more than some number,
on a scale that she weighs
or some joke in an insensitive phrase.
She now can be and see her true self in extrodinary ways


Written by: Richard Lamoureux for the International Weight Stigma Conference













Copyright © Richard Lamoureux

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  1. Date: 2/6/2016 12:38:00 AM

    Great Poem!!! congrats
  1. Date: 2/5/2016 6:02:00 PM

    Richard.. congratulations on POTD..
  1. Date: 2/4/2016 10:40:00 AM

    Back to read this again and congratulate you for being at No. 1, Rick. :-)
  1. Date: 2/4/2016 8:36:00 AM

    This is an incredible exploration of thought and deeply educational to a bumbling idiot such as I (at least occasionally). There are deep challenges for us to face. So, in fact, this is an allegory for us all. If it is not food, it is surely something else if we only look within. You did a great job on this kind sir!
  1. Date: 2/2/2016 10:46:00 PM

    Congratulations for being placed first in the best new poems.
  1. Date: 2/2/2016 10:28:00 PM

    Richard, this poem is outstanding in every way possible and inspiring, to be more sensitive and to treat all people with respect and kindness, for what is inside that is far more important, I truly love this write ~
  1. Date: 2/2/2016 12:21:00 AM

    If this poem isn't posted to and taken up by every slimming club on the Planet, there's no justice. What a fine, insightful piece, Richard. Take great pride in it. regards, Viv
  1. Date: 2/1/2016 10:38:00 AM

    Sad but true of our society. Always make us all feel the need to be perfect. Good one it makes you stop and think as it lingers on
  1. Date: 1/31/2016 7:11:00 PM

    This is right up there as one of your best Rick, it couldn't be said better. Yes I've faved it. Take care, Richard
  1. Date: 1/31/2016 3:29:00 PM

    Very Uplifting
  1. Date: 1/31/2016 11:31:00 AM

    Fabulous write. An enlightening story, sadly so true, and so regularly played out.
  1. Date: 1/31/2016 9:18:00 AM

    We are all created differently yet wonderfully by God and Jesus died in order that we should live, beautiful poem in celebration of life Richard
  1. Date: 1/31/2016 8:16:00 AM

    Richard, I like this. People will treat you as you let them and the only control we have in life is our attitude. We are what we portray and no one escapes their own self. Do you think blind people are cruel to the overweight? Tom
  1. Date: 1/30/2016 3:56:00 PM

    Richard this one totally hit home and there were points I could relate to. Thank you
  1. Date: 1/30/2016 1:21:00 PM

    very empowering, rich... let not media dictate what an ideal body should be... isn't is nice we come in different shapes?.. huggs
  1. Date: 1/30/2016 12:57:00 PM

    Yet another awesome poem, well put together, enjoyed the read. Cheers, Craig
  1. Date: 1/30/2016 7:32:00 AM

    Thank God I'm not a woman. I don't care how I look. No ties, just clean clothes even if they don't match and if my hair was to fall...good riddence I won't wear a wig. Great poem.
  1. Date: 1/29/2016 9:03:00 PM

    Richard, there's no doubt you opened some eyes with this effort. Well done.
  1. Date: 1/29/2016 11:23:00 AM

    Weight Stigma--- Richard, to be in the shoes of many. I would like to see this one performed. "Big boned girls" as myself cry when no one's around. We go through so many insecurities. Right now, I have issues with my new age and large breast. A few days ago, Somebody opened my eyes. She said, "I got to stop living in a teenage world." I am not kind to myself, NOT YET, I have to find myself first. I make all kinds of jokes, it's not even about weight. Maybe, I can't find The "I am who I am." Great write. Anyone can relate in their own way. A BIG 7. LINDA
  1. Date: 1/29/2016 8:39:00 AM

    Excellent write.
  1. Date: 1/29/2016 7:23:00 AM

    Awesome write, Richard. Congratulations on POTD. Excellent look, from the inside out. love and hugs, catie :)
  1. Date: 1/29/2016 4:06:00 AM

    Fantastic write! Well done, a 7 from me ;-)
  1. Date: 1/29/2016 12:01:00 AM

    Great write, Richard, congratulations on poem of the day!
  1. Date: 1/28/2016 11:25:00 PM

    A life lesson I have taken many many years to learn, is to love myself. Had I have done it sooner, I would have saved myself a lot of pain. Great writing my friend.
  1. Date: 1/28/2016 10:09:00 PM

    An excellent poem Richard....Deserving POTD for 10 days
  1. Date: 1/28/2016 8:55:00 PM

    This was one fat poem! and.... I loved it, brought me a tear, cause anytime I see someone hurt by words or actions it hurts me too, If only people looked beyond the book-cover. I hope thats a poets gift to do so, as you have so well shown! I love this song, as in its silly way, says the same! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk
  1. Date: 1/28/2016 8:08:00 PM

    Richard, I knew there was nothing you couldn't do but I did not expect this kind of nothing to be the epitome of something!.... Good Go! Congratulations on Poem of the Day....bespeaks Centuries
  1. Date: 1/28/2016 6:38:00 PM

    Allowing peer pressure to be thin is insanity.... Say; I have no interest in Your brand of Vanity................. Congrats on this being chosen as POTD Richard.
  1. Date: 1/28/2016 3:08:00 PM

    Great write, Richard. I know there are many people out there who will appreciate this piece. Good luck!
  1. Date: 1/28/2016 1:06:00 PM

    So happy I stumbled upon your poem today. This truly is an inspirational piece :) A fav.
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