Bark
yap yap
blah blah blah
be close minded
praising those banning
books, education, rewriting folk
pretend to be truth while
every word uttered is a hateful lie
you're disposable, a widdle bitty pawn
the big Zionist eye, laughing at the clown
slaughter slaughter slaughter
despicable acts only fools would cheer
a raging racist sits alone while nursing his girly beer
.
t'wuz mom'z huni
(chortles)
her
widdle piddle
mons'er
"put your teeth in dad"
"mom's what
what
monster"
yep
i'll get them
huni
.
until
night time
then
i'mz hern
spooky
"fluffy"
she me
callz
"widdle piddle
mons'er"
Fancy zebra is led by a somber clown boy
He knows the presents had better arrive okay
There are spies in the woods; one throws out a decoy.
But the boy and his zebra remain on their way.
Where are the presents? Asks the sinister Roy.
He is not one who can easily joke, sing or play.
I do not know if this is a casual ask or a ploy.
So, I consult with my wise Uncle Jay.
I am not telling you what to do, I do not want to annoy
But I think that spy is trying to get you to stumble or sway
As I pass the guy who tries to act merry and say “ahoy!”
I merely reply, in my most strident voice “have a good day!”
The stranger asks, were you serious or were you being coy?
I pretend then I do not know English and reply with a bray.
Roy calls me names like stuck up widdle waddle and Fauntleroy
I do not care, and quickly leave his vicinity in a little sashay.
Okay, so Mom got me my own smart-phone,
now I can have fun when I’m home alone.
I can see the addiction to this thing,
I can finally buy myself some bling.
Oh wait, a text from Fluffy-Bell,
Tuesday’s play-date went really well.
“Girl, check out the new food site,
that tuna’s got sauce with every bite!
Oh hey, wait, I’m get’in a text,
yeah, it’s from that smexy tabby, Rex.
Ooh, ooh, he wants a play-date, too,
oh geez, what am I going to do?
Got to go girl and get some bling,
afterwards I’ll give you a ring.
I can’t let him see me in this old collar,
I don’t want him thinking I live in squalor.
Here’s one, it’s full of pink rhinestones,
I’m going to order it on my new smart-phone.
Oh wait, I can't find Mom’s credit card,
you know, web shopping’s awfully hard.
Now I’ll have to manipulate Mom;
bookmarking this site, I’ll leave my phone on.
She’ll check up on me and see what I want,
then, I’ll get a new collar to flaunt.
Yeah girl, it really does work,
Mom worships me, she’s no jerk.
I’m her “widdle-purrrdy-girl”,
I’m her BFF in this world!
Personification - Pets Talking Poetry Contest
Constance La France
6-5-2022
I need a nonsense poem today.
To sooth my heart, to laugh and play.
I need a silly poem for me.
To make me frolic, laugh and see.
Fiddle faddle, dum diddly dee.
Diddle daddle, this is the life for me.
Piddle paddle, where on earth should we be?
Middle maddle, a child of the sea.
It makes my heart feel super fun.
It helps to let the nightmares run.
It makes me happy as can be.
A silly poem, which sets me free.
Riddle raddle, dum diddly dee.
Siddle saddle. This is my daily plea.
Biddle baddle. What is the point of me?
Kiddle kaddle. How happy can we be?
The naysayers are rolling their eyes right now.
They do not laugh. They do not “wow”.
A nonsense poem. Why do you have a need of this?
For it soothes my heart, like a gentle kiss.
Widdle waddle, waking me up in my head.
Ziddle zaddle, moving me from pink to red.
I need a silly poem for me.
To make me frolic, laugh and be.
Yup, its not easy
being a female gardener
fun glorious fun
passionate joy in sun -
BUT -- just now for instance
deconstructing a tree
snap -- thwack --- stings like a bee
as green branch flicks a boob
YOOWSER!!!
Loppers and boobs its a horror show
No holding up close for leverage strong
or squeezes, bruises sing
a black/blue song
hold far away from chest
use more muscles is best.
No getting the hose out for a convenient piddle
Too obvious when female needs to widdle.
Of course I'm smarter
So that's a useful starter
For massive shrub removal got a good technique
but best done when no one around to peek
As when final root comes loose
I go head over bum, like a boomerang goose!
And YEAH,
When I get home really do need
a comforting beer!
Written 6th July 2018 for Nick Trim's contest.
Amuse me with your rhyme.
Widdle kiddles are the cutest and most adorable people
But growing up there's no telling if they'll turn out evil
It's the luck of the draw
Some say that's a flaw
But MOST wind up charming and respectable wee beagles
i take it upon myself to love you in a world so full of hate
and even when others are against us we continue opening those closing gates
somehow we manage to pull through each and every time
and tears of frustration and confusion begin to widdle down our minds
some want to control us while others want us defeated
but love is a constant and can always be retreated
sometimes when i stare into your eyes and watch the tears roll down
i can clearly hear the thumping of my heart as it begins to pound
and when i kiss your lips its like my skin is dancing on cloud
soft and pure blistfulness of what love should be like now
like spring and fall on a cool breezy day
a midday perspective of the way trees begin to sway
Started To Fiddle
Around with my puzzle started to fiddle
There was missing piece in the middle
Maybe piece not there is a missing link
And of disaster could be on its brink
Problem down to smaller size must whittle.
How much more will have to widdle before
I finally reach the middle of the problem?
I have played a guitar but never a fiddle.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Otay! I’m an alien, toe what?
I used to wive on the pwanet Pwuto
Too told! TOE, I fwew to the moon
BOOOW-ING! (Eveeting too white!)
Toe I fwuttered down to Waw Tageles
Where I betame a BIG movie tar
Dey trew a party for my pwemier
but a bwack fuwwy fewine cwashed it!
Yep, I taw dat puddy-tat teak in too
Den he tunned me wit his tun gun!
Wucky for me, I dot away tumhow
Now I got dis widdle speech intetiment…
PS: Ewmer Fudd and me have become wather cwose since then because he had a
similar expewience when Bugs Bunny conked him on the head with an oversized
cawwot...
1930s Dirranbandi Mucky eye fix
Coming back from bloody Cobar,
where the dust storms used to blow,
came the mucky eyed with Sandy Blight,
as the mucky eyed do go,
back in the thirties - forties,
Ning-a-Ning Joseph saw em, hah,
When ole man Wise took to fixing,
Mucky eyeballs, yes bloody sah!
Widdle in a bottle, swirl the mixture, sweet delight,
Add a little drop of Ainaseed, to kill the smell orright,
Splash it on the eyeball, let it trickle tickle there,
Just a widdle bit of seeing,
Till yer sight was bloody fair,
The mucky eyed no longer gummed up, & eyelid red,
just the trickle on the eyeball, fixed the mucky yucky head,
Ole wise was up 4 sainthood at the Black stump water hole,
A widdle bit of widdle cleans the eye and soothes the soul?
Don Johnson
Pweeze wet me expwain, officer -
I taught it was dat wascally wabbit agin...
buwwowing under my ewectric fence,
eating up my cawwots. wettece, my bwoccoli
and-and...even my woot-a-beggers!
He's a weal pest...constantwee hawassing me,
destwoying, wandom wooting, wuining my cwop...
din waughing at me! (Dere outta be a waw)
Wha...awwest me?...Dis is an outwage!
I am a waw-abiding citizen!...Wead me my wights!
I demand pwoper mis-wepwesentation!
I am going diwectly to your superwior office, pwivate!
Bewieve it my fwiend, you will wive to wegwet this...
Ow! Must you be so fweekin WUFF?...Dat hoits!
I have woomatism you know! Powice bwutality! Po...
Aw scwew it...Wes! Wes! I moidered da widdle bum!
(Wunning awound dwessed wike dat
distwibuting doze siwwie cowoured eggs
Embawassing widdle cweature...
It's a downwight disgwace I tell you)
2/26/2013
Got home awound twee (I was dwunk as a wouse)
Awose pwomptly at six wit' dwy cotton-mouth
I knew wather soon my day was gonna' bwow
When I stwuggled outta' bed and stubbed my wight toe
Fwopped back on the mattwess cwying and twitchin'
Staggoid back up and wimped to the kitchen
Stumbled to the counter to bwew Folger's bwend
Spiwwed it down my Hanes and boint my widdle fwend
Hobbled to the bathwoom to wustle up some Tums
Twipped on my fwip-fwop and bwuised my weft bun
Should not have cawoused wit' owe Bugsey wast night
Now my head hoits and de wight is too bwight
If I had not dwunk gin for my mowale booster
I coulda' swept in trew 'dat wascally wooster
(Don't feel wike wunning dat siwwy wat-wace
Tink I might caw in sick at the Woony-Tune pwace)
"It is a sad man indeed who understands his dreams."
If ere the rack of clickity clack should ever clutter down,
And moisten reams of clapboard streams then I shall surely drown.
For hammered tops and candle shops stand round me to the end,
And wear the vest of velvet test hoping life to now transcend.
Oh wind the widdle of the hot pot's spittle with noted truthful verse,
Become aware that the grey March hare has been made into a purse.
Choose the rune then check the tune oh champion of charlatans,
Drape the shrapneled caskets dappled the evening sunlight now attends,
We'll sing a song and sail along until the breeze of time shall die,
Then drop the sails and walk the trails that make our mothers cry.
Now you will see the part of me that none other has ever it seems,
The broken parts and shattered hearts that come out in my dreams.
Traveler brave do not try to save just stay here by my side,
And hold my hand and understand that I need you I confide.
Fore ere the rack of clickity clack should ever clutter down,
And moisten reams of clapboard streams then I shall surely drown.
By Tony Lane
for the A Poem Please Contest
Sub Categories
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