Best Widdle Poems

Got home awound twee (I was dwunk as a wouse)
Awose pwomptly at six wit' dwy cotton-mouth
I knew wather soon my day was gonna' bwow
When I stwuggled outta' bed and stubbed my wight toe
Fwopped back on the mattwess cwying and twitchin' 
Staggoid back up and wimped...

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Pweeze wet me expwain, officer - 
I taught it was dat wascally wabbit agin...
buwwowing under my ewectric fence,
eating up my cawwots. wettece, my bwoccoli
and-and...even my woot-a-beggers!
He's a weal pest...constantwee hawassing me,
destwoying, wandom wooting, wuining my cwop...
din waughing at me! (Dere outta be a waw)

Wha...awwest me?...Dis...

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On one dark and stormy night… on a local, lonely, wind swept moor,
A very young and slightly mad scientist did some craziness, for sure.
Now mind you, he was only 3 years young, but, yet, still a science nerd,
His binky and blankie well in hand, a...

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Tom Price phones up John Ely. 

"I hear you sell some of the best horses in the county 

I'm sending out my best guy if he likes the goods 
we're buying one of your horses. 

My guy is a midget with a speech impediment just...

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Dragon saw an advertisement for a Beauty Pageant, He wanted in! No less!
It stated it was for the 1 to 5’s, so Dragon figured he fit right in. You guess?
When we got there: We were shocked! No Mom would let us in, at the door.
They...

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Hook: Here's the truth. We gon shine. Yung MCs and that's no lie. Coming up. To our door. Yea we got them flows galore. (Repeat x4)         Verse: Guess who just jumped on the phone. Riding to a...

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Otay! I’m an alien, toe what?
I used to wive on the pwanet Pwuto
Too told! TOE, I fwew to the moon
BOOOW-ING! (Eveeting too white!)
Toe I fwuttered down to Waw Tageles
Where I betame a BIG movie tar

Dey trew a party for my pwemier
but a bwack fuwwy fewine...

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Dragon got excited, just the other day
He wanted to meet his Dragon friend Drag
Way out in that Lone Star Texas State

So he donned his really big Texas boots and hat
Put his courageous penguins right there, on his back
They too, were dressed in their cowboy best,...

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Hubby was working, out of town, lately, so we went to pick him up.
And we passed thru the town of Metropolis in our ancient pickup truck.
Now don’t think Dragon didn’t notice, that this was the town so grand…
Where lives, Super Duper Man, the greatest hero,...

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To be, or not to be: that is the question.

O’, to be unseen by the hands of the greater good!
Fettered with ignorance, a bliss more wanton than the love
Of a willing beauty; higher than the unknown
Depths of stars on a black hole journey; richer than
Humus...

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Hubby works in the next town, and I drop him off… quietly each morn.
But when it’s night…  and time to pick him up…Dragon comes along.
Dragons there, daily, so crazy things tend to happen, I can honestly say.
Now, Mayhem Falls loves Dragon, with their big...

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Spring had sprung and the weather was wild, the winds were everywhere.
Yep, it was time to fly kites, but with Dragon involved, a time to be beware!
A great kite-erian was invited this year, from Japan, to our shores, he had come.
His specialty, you might ask?...

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Dragon wanted a summer job so off to Dragon Air he did go.
But his erratic flying audition brought him, only buckets of Whoa!
They told him to come back later, whenever he learns to, better fly.
Like in maybe a year or two, when he can better,...

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Mommy had a cold, now Dragon has it too. Oh woe is me! Woe to you, too!
Fire’s dribbling, fluidly from his eyes, as lava flows, in a nasty watery goo.  
Coughs shoot in fireballs, as he coughs, with a non-tiring, and bitter croup.
Even his...

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Dragon likes secrets but can’t keep them… UH UH! No way!
But he’s also, often confused by what he sees every single day.
Now he got interested in Area 51, and wanted a meet and greet…
Of aliens, so when he disappeared we sought him in the streets.

We...

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